Alderson gave Cal Ripken award and said something like, “Mets fans have been waiting for me to introduce a shortstop.” Yeah that’s all in good fun until you realize that you’re a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE getting paid by BILLIONAIRES. Quit joking around and do your fucking job.
Flores, not liking all the SS buzz in Metsland, said something like, “I know what I can do, man. I know what I can do.” So do we Wilmer, so do we.
He’ll probably be a Yankee. Having money must be sweet.
“There’s just nothing at SS available.” -Alderson
“We’ve acquired 3, yes 3, replacements for Jeter.” -Brian Cashman
“Obviously Fred Wilpon can’t be at fault. He is the league’s finance chairman, after all.” -Matt Cerrone
On the same day the Nats announced Scherzer (giving them the most dominant staff in baseball), the Mets announced a 62% increase in the Citifield scoreboard’s size.
Nice to see a TV getting some steroids. Give some to our weak ass hitters while you’re at it.
David Wright’s shoulder has suffered extensive damage to the burden that the Wilpons placed on it.
“Yeah, ever since they let Reyes go, all the weight’s really been on me.” -David. He went on, “I haven’t seen a pitch to hit in years. I’ve seen one at my head…then I forgot where I was for a while.” Mets manager Jerry Manuel didn’t call for retaliation. None of the players did, either. Cain and the Giants since have won 3 chips in 5 years.
Although Collins is in the hot seat, many believe this is the first time there’s been any talent whatsoever. One would like to believe that if a Mets player gets beaned, fiery guys like Harvey and Collins himself will play real baseball. No more having David shoulder all the weight.
All the talk about our pitching. All the hemmin n’ hawin. It don’t mean shit ya hear?!
Nats got Scherzer. Sheeeeiiittt.
We can’t hit for shit, and we don’t even have the best pitching in the division. Metsblow.
And in future news: MLB is broke.
Adam Rubin (ESPN New York) and Mets’ strength coach Mike Barwis have apparently confirmed this.
When I read this, I honestly thought I was reading one of my own satire pieces here at Metsblow. I can’t believe it. Is this real? Where am I?
This really is the beauty of Metsblow. The articles write themselves. Thanks Jeffy! Keep doing you, you fucking Jew snake bastard.
But…
He claims to be pain free.
He claims the Mets will make the playoffs this year.
Pain free? Delusions of grandeur? Did they legalize pot in the MLB or something? (Doubtful, since MLB is usually about 50 years behind).
Playoffs?! Playoffs?!? We’re not even at .500 yet.
But D-Wright is my boy for life. I believe him, yo. I don’t know why but I do.
MetsBlow 