My god they are doodoo. Let’s bunt with 2 strikes again yaaaay. Oh and then after Lagares gets bailed out (prolly shoulda been out cuz that HBP hit the bat, too), let’s NOT bunt! That Nimmo K was a hundo p lock. Callaway might not yet know he’s in the NL. Fortunately, he knows Alonso can mash our way out of these awful fucking games.

I have no problem with Thor calling Alonso “Polar Bear.” Noah, I have an animal name for you: Overrated doodoo bear who will never live up to the hype. And I was at the Bumgarner WC game, too. Have you pitched well since? You was my braza, man! Shut the fuck up, stop hurting yourself all the time, and pitch better.

My god we tried hard to lose this fucking game. Passed balls leading to dingers and all. El Sugar was not so sweet. I’m sure Kelenic will be a perennial all-star while Sugar gives us heart attack after heart attack. Cano really scoffed at Davis, too. I liked that. Not roid rage. Just roid passive-aggressiveness. Was good. Way to lead the kids, Robbie. Davis was completely in the wrong, fucking up play after play. It was atrocious. Welllll, we should be 4-0, but we’re a pretty bad a team. Fortunately, we’re playing worse teams.

Doofus Scouting Alert: Don’t throw fuckin meatballs to Trea Turner and Starlin Castro