Well, That Sucked


That sucked. Mets blow. It’s the Syndergaard game that really mattered. We were never going to win a spot start vs. Scherzer.

Everyone’s looking to Sandy. Everyone’s acting like, “oooh we got a Cubano last year and that solved everything! Let’s do that again!” Even Sandy acknowledged how fucking lucky he was last year. Gomez’s balky hip. The team going on a tear with Cespedes playing out of his mind. Jesus blessing Murphy. Sandy said, “everything broke right.” It was luck, basically. Gourriel isn’t even ML ready. 

One thing that could happen but won’t: trade the farm for Arenado. That plus Conforto finding it again and Lagares being healthy and nobody else getting hurt (HA!) could save this team. 

Here comes 4 games against the Cubs. Remember how we swept them in the NLCS? Get ready for the opposite. 

Beat the Booth was Riveting


Did you guys stay up? Beat the Booth was awesome. Gary & Howie are awesome.

Oh and there was a Mets game? Let me just say this to Nattitude Nation: I have no idea if Giolito (grandson of the dude who played Susan’s dad on Seinfeld!) is good or great or whatever. He very well could be. But if you think yesterday is any indication, you’re a fucking moron. We couldn’t hit Ollie Perez!! We can’t get a fucking hit at a Bob Marley concert.

Scherzer tonight. Should get swept. Should be out of it by the ASB.

You Get a Bone Spur! You Get a Bone Spur! Bone Spurs for Everybody!


Ooooooh this team is SHOT!! Here comes Mets disease for everyone.

Matz is dead. Thor says that he’s fine but he sure did suck last night. We may never see either of them again.

I’m the stupidest. I actually got fooled. Thor got out of the 1st inning jam and we tacked on runs and I thought we were dialing in for the big series here. Ace on the mound. Nimmo with his first hit. Some key hits with RISP. Ahhhh nope, we’re terrible. Worst loss of the year. They keep finding new ways to outdo themselves.

Bastardo mopped it up nicely. Prolly his best outing all year.

HarveyDay today. He’s taking on their new stud prospect (ML debut). Get ready for “Giolito’s better” chants. DC folk probably aren’t clever enough to do it.

The Bastard!

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Well, Bastardo’s ERA was infinity last night. 3 runs and 0 outs. BRILLIANT! It’s the walks, really. He has no control. He walked, he balked, he sucked. And it has really been all season. He was really good with the Pirates. I don’t get it. He got paid, maybe? How do you lose command of your fastball so easily? What a bastard. Somewhere, Lyanna Stark is crying, “promise me, Sandy, promise me you’ll find a better reliever.”

It’s not all on him. Colon let up a solo dinger to Freeman (why is he pitching to him at all!?) and that was the game. Colon pitched great coming off of getting hit in the hand by a comebacker last outing but he’s gotta know it’s zeroes or bust with this team. Talk to deGrom about it.

Nimmo 0-4. Take it slow, buddy. Reyes 0-3 in Brooklyn. Oops.

Another classic Mets loss. Another sinfully boring game. We avoided the shutout in garbage time, but peeeeeee-ew what a stinker. A split with Los Bravos woooow we blow. 2-5 in our last seven games against them. Wow. Good thing the Nats blow, too, and we’re only 3 games out. On to Washington D.C. to take back the white house, BYAAAHH!!

 

Nimmo Time


Uhh hey Terry, he’s there to play! Cespedes can’t slide. Maybe give him a day? At least pinch run for him. De Aza doesn’t run out bad bunts in extra innings. Maybe bench him? Nimmo better be in the starting lineup tomorrow.

deGrom knew it was zeroes or bust, put up zeroes, and still didn’t get the win. He’s such a class act; I’m sure he just said that he’s happy the team got a win, but maaaan that’s gotta eat away at a pitcher. The Mets haven’t scored a run while he’s been on the mound in over 20 innings.

Game ball to Jelly. Clutch dingdong.

Joseeee, Jose Jose Joseee!

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How do you say, “keep your mouth shut, bitch” in Spanish?
Hey Jose, do you think you can take over the team lead in steals from David Wright? He has 3. Second on the team is Conforto with 2. Oh wait, he got demoted. Another good move. He’ll be back.

Professor Reyes has returned! “Professor Reyes” is the greatest jumbotron bit of all time with the possible exception of when they put two chicks up on the kiss cam. I’m pretty sure that’s how Pamela Anderson was discovered, but I digress.

I love this move, unless it means no Gourriel. We all know that a Dominican cannot be used as a substitute for a real Cuban.

Reyes is so HUNGRY and HAPPY to be back. That’s what I love about it. If he succeeds or fails, this is a good move because he is going to TRY HARD and that can go a looooong way. It’s the right place and right time to have a chance for a renaissance (a Reyessance?). Pray for his health. Odds favor digging his grave plot now. Put it side by side with David’s.

Attention Christian Nation: Enough with the “classless” talk! Enough with the “he’s evil” talk! You racist fucks! First of all, doesn’t Jesus say to forgive? Let he who is without sin beateth the first spouse. Now I know Mrs. Reyes dropping the charges means nothing because battered spouses are not necessarily thinking straight. I get that. And I think Reyes needs to do a walk of atonement. A stolen base of atonement would be nice, too. A batting tittle of atonement would be sick (sidenote: Murph’s gonna win that shit choooof). Reyes has been a standup guy his whole life. This one monstrous act is baffling and scary, but this is baseball and one strike doesn’t mean you’re out. Is he remorseful? What is he going to do to show penance? He served his suspension. He remains in therapy. Isn’t the rest between Jose, his wife, and his Gawd? How about this: If you’re so pious that you can’t watch Reyes–that Reyes being back in NY sickens you and you’re going to boo him (Jesus would do otherwise)–quit sports. Quit fandom. Shit’s pretty fucked up. I can’t argue with that, but you definitely have to turn off all sports.

I can’t fucking wait for the Jose chants. I really want Gourriel but I’m excited that the Mets are shaking things up. It feels good to know that my Reyes shirsey is relevant again. I’m excited to see Nimmo, too. Getting Reyes and sticking him 1st in the lineup feels good. It could be a spark. It’s worth a shot.

Whoopdee-Shit

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You’re gonna sit there and tell me that winning a game 8-6 when you had an 8-0 lead is something to fucking celebrate? Mets fucking blooooow. I think I heard Matz’s elbow pop from my couch.

I’ll “celebrate” when the Mets win this fucking series against the worst god damn team ever. Collins had the fucking balls to say, “the Braves are playing well right now” to the media. WHAT A SPIN!