Doin’ A Little Flexen

New York Mets v Cincinnati Reds
Flexen got sent down as I prepared this article

 

Crybaby faggots will blame umpire Angel Hernandez. He’s a Mexican bitch who should be deported. We all know this. This isn’t new. He’s been terrible for decades. He’s consistently referred to as “terrible” by MLB players, coaches, and fans. He shrunk the strike zone in the 18th inning when we had a lead for fucks sake. I’m not here to apologize for Angel Hernandez, who is a filthy, dirty Mexican who should be deported. I’m a big “deport Angel Hernandez” guy. We all are. That’s all well and good.

I’m also not here to give the Brewers any credit. They are terrible. Ryan Jew Braun is a pipsqueak without the hard juicing and of course is one of the biggest faggots of all time because he screamed, “VINDICATED!!!!” when MLB screwed up his drug test and changed the + to a -, only for his next drug test to be + six months later. He couldn’t quietly take the W. He cheated on his roids test, passed, and then roid raged out about how unfair it was that he got tested. Then, he failed his next test when they wouldn’t let him cheat again. Amazing. The delusion. Amazing. As delusional as Jews who still think the Holocaust happened. Again, the Brewers deserve no credit. It took them 2 whole innings to score on Flexen. That’s terrible. That’s 2 innings longer than it should take. The fact that it took the Brewers 18 innings to beat the Mets with Rosario making 3 errors and an umpire who was cheating on your behalf is next level doodoo. Brewers: you are terrible without Yelich.

But let’s do a little Flexen, here. Been hittin the Nautilus room. Do a little Flexen, give the fans a show. Flexen got sent down, thankfully, as I prepared this article. Of course, they’ll excuse it as “after 18 innings, we need fresh arms for the bullpen” because we need to protect the fragile egos of soft pussy ass professional athletes, nowadays. I’ve got nothing against the guy. He looks like a good guy. Probably loves his mom. Probably loves Jesus. All good things. But you’re terrible. Goodbye. Don’t come back. Rosario? You’re terrible, too. You also need to be sent down. I hope you figure it out and come back but it’s probably not gonna happen ’cause you’re terrible. Gimenez time! Maybe we can trade Rosario. Any team need a guy who makes 3 errors per game?

P.S. Special thanks to the Mets for giving 2 full games worth of blow in 1. Usually you have to pay double for that kind of action. Worst game in Mets history? Possibly. Gotta love all the pitchers complaining about juiced baseballs this season and yet we haven’t scored in fucking FOREVER. We’ve got like, what, 5 runs in the last 45 innings? And one was a homer by a pitcher? Mets blooooooow.

P.P.S. When the Mets took a 3-2 lead in the top of the 18th, with Flexen set to come back for his 2nd inning of work in the bottom half, it’s moments like that that you NEED a bookie on call at all times. Statistically, you’re bound to get good odds betting against a team that is leading in the middle of the 18th. The outcome was the LOCK OF THE FUCKING CENTURY.

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