Bout Time We Got Mean

Mets 9, Royals 3

Fuck yeah, Thor. Throwing heat. Throwing up and in. Settling down nicely after a rocky start and some major cheating from the umps. Hell yeah. Doc and the ’86 Mets will tell you that throwing chin music was the fuckin winning formula. Let’s go. Keep ’em off balance.

I’ve never seen Harvey, deGrom, and Thor blow leads in consecutive games. But whatever. Get fucking tough. It’s a series.

I’m not gonna give out superlatives and shit because we’ve got a job to do, so I’ll just briefly give a pat on the back to everyone. David, Juan, other Juan, Jeurys, Yoenis, Curtis…team win. The Royals cracked a bit and we really murked em. Let’s fucking go.

A Long, Sloppy, Jittery Game 1

  
Royals 5, Mets 4 (F/14)

I think the Mets forgot that they could lose.

Well, the jitters are out of the way (for both teams). Harvey’s not gonna blow a lead again. Familia’s not gonna blow a save again. Wright’s not gonna make an error again. Neither will Hosmer. Neither will Cespedes. Welcome to the World Series, David!

A sloppy, SLOPPY game 1. Metsblow. Granderson remains our best all-around player, hitting a dinger and making a game-saving catch in right. But we all looked DEAD after Familia blew the save. We put it in the books once Familia was in. Even Mo wasn’t perfect. It’s still a helluva first postseason for Fam. I said it before yesterday’s game and you’re god damn right I’ll say it again: Get it to Familia. The plan hasn’t changed. Hell, it’d be nice if deGrom mows em the fuck down and we win 10-0, but just get the lead and hold it and get it to Familia. That’s our winning formula and I have total faith in him. Pray.

We ain’t soft. The Cubs series was nice but we ain’t soft. The Dodgers series was brutal and gritty and we took it. Time to get tough again. Nobody I’d rather have on the mound than deGrom. 

Final note: Chris Young was not cast off from the Mets because he sucked. That was Chris Capuano. Chris “Cy” Young was just frail as shit. He murdered us last night. I’ve never seen so many swings-and-misses at balls in the dirt. Having said that, wasn’t he supposed to be their game 4 starter? I think the long battle last night has left the Royals in a bit of a hole. We’ll see.

Doodoo Garbage Media Hype Lies

They're spinning the shit out of this one. What else is new?
They’re spinning the shit out of this one. What else is new?

I can’t get over the doodoo garbage analysis that is clearly just trying to pump up ratings.

The Royals O is WORSE than the BJs O. They score FEWER runs. I don’t see how anyone (let alone everyone) can fucking spin that. Obviously, they scored more than the Jays in the ALCS when it counted the most, but come on.

It’s completely fine to say the Royals are great JUST CUZ. They’ve been there. They’re back. They’re great. Just say that. Say they have grit (true) and experience (true). Don’t compare their offense to the BJs and label it better. That’s bad journalism. They don’t have to lie. The two best teams in baseball are in the World Series. In a sort of Möbius Strip of logic, that’s the only result that will ever occur and that’s fine. End of story.

The only reason KC even got out of the ALDS is because the Astros shit the bed hard in that game 4 8th inning debacle. Correa missed a huge one. Flores better be fucking ready. But again, that’s not to take away from KC. Their grit and experience and ability to put the ball in play made things happen for them.

Everybody’s talking about how KC doesn’t strikeout. Fuck that. Strike these motherfuckers out.  Everybody’s talking about how KC has a great pen. Uhhhh, Familia, anyone? Familia & Tolo out of the pen? Elite.

Let’s just pray. Pray pray pray. Jesus is GOOOOOOD.

Yost hasn’t even announced the rotation yet. KC has the worst pitching we’ve faced in the playoffs so far. In what order will they trot out their group of assholes? Would any of them be in our rotation? No. They need to keep their hand a secret. We don’t have a secret. We have 4 aces and we don’t care who knows it. Put their names in a hat and pick em. Sheeeiiit. Who you wanna get mowed down by first? Pray. Just get the lead and hold it. Score early. Don’t let their bullpen enter with a lead. Score runs, mow em down, and get it to Familia. The gameplan hasn’t changed.

Just make the plays in the field. The media hype is absurd. To imply that KC wants to face our staff is a lie. Granted, I think both teams are excited and couldn’t care less who they face. But as we know, the media lies. If KC is like Goku or a true warrior or whatever, then they’re saying, “oh boy the Mets! They’re amazin’! This is gonna be a real match!” But the media is implying that KC is saying, “oh boy the Mets! They don’t match up well against us! Oh boy, the pitching with the lowest ERA! We usually do better against pitchers with low ERAs!” It is completely and utterly ridiculous.

They talk about how the Royals hit fastballs well. This fails to mention all the doodoo fastballs they’ve seen from Cleveland and Detroit. They’re a good hitting team, but COME THE FUCK ON. It’s absurd lying. In the words of Joe Maddon, “Harvey is incredible. He located 4 pitches. Nobody can hit that.” Doesn’t sound like the Mets are Team Fastball to me. We’ll see how their “so good at 95+” hitters do against Familia and his 95+ splitter.

The World Series begins tomorrow. Pray.

Nobody Breathe

Mets 5, Cubs 2

  
Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Don’t panic. Don’t blink.

Murph dinger? Check. Familia save? Check. deGrom win? Check. Cespedes mashing? Check. Some kind of horseshit keeping the game close? Check. Ivy check. But we’re 3-0. 1 away from the ship. Don’t breathe.