Month: April 2018

Best Start in Franchise History? Let’s Celebrate Like We Won the World Series!

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Hooray! We did it! We won the championship!

9-1! 9-1! End the fucking season before everyone gets hurt! Give us the trophyyyy!!

Has anyone here in Metsie LaLa Dicksuck Land read The Tortoise & The Hare? Has anyone here read the Mets’ unabridged franchise history? Has anyone here read a book? Ever? A fucking book with words? It doesn’t seem like anyone has, because everyone’s acting like a fucking illiterate Mexican retard. (Sorry, Keith).

9-1 ain’t shit, you fucks. Yeah, it’s better than 1-9. Sure. Great. Grand. Wonderful. Callaway is swingin’ dick. I like it. Yo is playing through a fever. I love it. Conforto is one swing away from ripping his shoulder out. Ya gotta love it.

Hey guys, we’re in first place less than 1/16th of the way through the season. Let’s sip some fucking mai tais and ball the fuck out because THIS. SHIT. IS. IN. THE. BAG! To be fair, the team looks gritty and focused. This is more a knock on the fans. What fucking franchise do you follow!? Oh my god, people love hype. People LOOOOOVE hype. The crazy mob mentality is maddening. This is how Madison Av controls your fucking mind. They build a fever pitch out of nothing, get you all screaming for some bullshit, then you buy the product or burn the witch or do whatever it is your feeble fucking brains are being told to do, and then they push something new on you. Right now, the Mets are hot. Yes, red hot. Wow. Score. Book your World Series tickets now! Give the Wilpons some money! The dynasty is ON!!!

This shit’s a marathon, not a sprint. Also, even sprints are longer than this. This has been a 20yd dash so far. Good start. Let’s see what hats these bandwagoning fajits are wearing after the Mets lose a few in a row.

Jewpons Don’t Purchase a Reliever and GUESS WHAT? Robles Has Been Activated

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Not pictured: this baseball getting launched 600ft

When Robles got sent down, everyone said, “phew!” Everyone wanted a bolstered bullpen and Sandy said, “we’re trying.” Well try harder you cheap Jew fuck. It took 1–ONE!!–injury (Swarzak) for us to have to see this bum again? I actually fucking liked Robles a few years ago. We all did. We all liked the kid. He threw 98 and he threw at your fuckin head. GAMER! Then he started facing real major league hitters who are actually ready for heat and they didn’t get fooled by his quick-pitch shit. Nobody’s worried about Hansel. We’re more worried about Gretel.

When (not if) someone else gets hurt, who are we going to see? Montero? Jesus fucking Christ, get it together, grouch. Robles is trending DOOOWN, too. Like, it’s not just consistently bad numbers. It’s more walks and fewer strikeouts by the month. On any other team, he wouldn’t be getting another shot. I can’t even say this is his last shot with the Mets, because there’s NO FUCKING WAY these bargain hunting Jew rats are going to get someone else. It’s classic Jew-run America. Where’s Robles from? Dominican Republic? Sounds like Mexico. He comes up here from Mexico, does a shitty job on the fuckin’ cheap, and nobody on the Mets changes anything because that means opening up the damn wallet. We need to build the bullpen a mile high to keep these Mexicans out. Just don’t expect the Wilpons to pay for it.