Flores Made a Bad Play? Stop the Presses!

This is a kind of nice reminder of why it’s ok that we don’t have Murph anymore. Nobody could’ve predicted the .350 BA (juice!) but one thing we KNOW is that Dru & Walker execute (double) plays. Flores & Murph? Not so much. 

Flores should never play the field again. I wish him well. I really do. He’s hitting. Maybe 1B? I guess? But holy shit, nowhere else ever again! I said that years ago. Nobody listens to reason. Metsblow. 

Collins is Confused


Terry Collins is confused. First of all, we’re winning a game here and there. That’s confusing as shit. But let’s go over the actual things he fucked up.

Collins let COLON swing away with a runner on 1st and 1 out. He took the bunt off with 0-1. UNREAL. UN FUCKING REAL. That right there is a fire-worthy offense. And what’s your argument there, Terry? That he’s not a good bunter? That’s because you haven’t taught him, you fucking mook!

Having only allowed maybe 1 hit all game at this point (maybe 2 at most), Collins had Big Sexy IBB the #8 hitter with two outs and a runner on second. Colon, visibly pissed at this, promptly let up an RBI single to the pitcher. Was it on purpose? No. But did Terry’s lack of faith in his ace disturb the team? Absolutely. He did a LOT to fuck this game up. Luckily the Phillies can’t pitch for shiiiiit and we teed off on em.

Flores was very lucky. The grand salami was skillful, but he should have been TRUCKED at 1st base earlier in the game. Good thing the Phillies ain’t playing for shit and are baby soft. Utley would’ve killed him. Flores doesn’t know how to play 1st and he should’ve been injured on a play where he lollygagged to 1st after (poorly) fielding a grounder and didn’t toss it to Bart.

Jay Bruce had a golden sombrero. Andelay!

I attended this game. Colon is riveting on the mound and at the plate. Seeing him get two hits was cool. Seeing the Mets win was cool. But the most exciting part by far is Yo. He is the TRUTH. Sign him up forever. Reyes has brought welcomed energy to the team. But the team goes how Yo goes and everyone knows it. He hits the ball harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. He shoots middle and makes the pitchers shit themselves.


The Summer Wind is Blowing Out

Hang on to your bathing suits. The summer wind is blowing waaaaay out.

A new Citi record for dingdongs? Wowzers. Murphy is obviously on steroids. Or maybe he just prays the best? He prays so good. When he boots the ball in the wildcard game against the Dodgers, we’ll quietly (loudly) tip our caps to Neil.

Babe Flores did it again. With Bryce Harper shushing the crowd and Murph screaming his fag-hating head off, Flores hit a go-ahead, three-run bomb to the 2nd deck off of Ollie Perez. Ollie Perez lolz. What the fuck is he doing on a supposedly good team? By the way Murph, you know Bryce Harper’s gay, right? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but we all know you do. The way he sassed the crowd? His hair? His Nattitude? Fucking GAAAAY.

Is Babe Flores a quntuple entendre? 1) He’s a babe. A stud. A fox. 2) Babe Ruth. 3) He’s still so young. 4) He has piggish nostrils. Still a fox, though. 5) He cried like a biiiitch when he got not-traded. Wee li’uhl bay-bee. You’re welcome, shitty writers of the world.

In the 9th, Murph–the steroid abusing, brain-farting, can’t field for shit stud that he is–got robbbbbbbed by Asdrubal. Great play. And then we finally got our piece of the Utley pie. That was a nice bonus.

Jose Reyes hit a dinger. He also got picked off? He stole and then unstole? What was that shit about? Get it together on the basepaths there, Jose.

I don’t mind that Collins left Colon** in. Harvey is dead with Jurassic Park syndrome. Out for season. RIP. Hopefully back for start of 2017 but we must stay focused. Wheeler’s return is delayed indefinitely. Bone spurs everywhere. Our pets heads are falling off! Let rubber arm Colon go. Why not? Colon not only knows how to pitch, but he also seemingly knows how to stay healthy. “How to Stay Healthy” by Big Sexy: 1) cultivate mass. 2) be in a radioactive explosion like Mr. Fantastic and come away with a rubber arm. Sexy Fantastic didn’t have it last night, but fortunately our bullpen doesn’t feature Ollie Perez. Or a guy that chokes MVPs in the dugout. Good job, Sandy!

Gutsy win. Gusty win, too, because the winds are bloooooooowing.

**Update: Sexy Fantastic is officially named to the All-Star Team! And it’s in San Diego, too. In case you need a reminder of what Tolo did in SD, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzLERV9l9Vs


No More Tears

Nice throwing error, Wilmer. When Reyes is throwing bullets from 3rd, people are going to recognize that you don’t belong on the left side of the infield.

But hey, 6 for 6 with 2 dingers. A rout. A sweep. An electric performance from Thor. 5 dingers in total. The wind was blowing waaaay out. Angels in the outfield moving the ball for us because of Nimmo and because I was there and I pray all the time. Did Matt Reynolds strand the bases loaded twice? Yup. Did we get shut down by Miguel Montero? Yup. We can still enjoy sweeping the “best” team in the league.

Flores the Cleanup Gawd!

Thor is the God of thunder but Flores is the God of cleaning up. Keep him there! Terry pushing all the right buttons! Most of the time, bases loaded with nobody out is right where the opponent wants us, but Flores hit a 40ft bomb and actually got us a run and hey, you’ll take it. He also hit an actual bomb later. 

I liked Reynolds’ AB in the 1st. That made it 3-0 and “broke the game open” with Noah on the hill. Lots of contributions tonight. Jelly hit the peanut butter out of one. Cespedes’ exit velocity averaged about a billion mph tonight. “He’s so strong,” said a fawning Keith. 

So, Metsblow and will probably score two or fewer tomorrow, but would you take it? If the season ended today, we’d be a wildcard team. Do you take it? Beggars can’t be choosers, right? Just get in? I wouldn’t take it today because we wouldn’t be able to put Thor on the mound for the play-in game. 

Sweep. Freakin’ Sweep.

Mets 8, Marlins 6

25-8 on the series. It waaaas 25-2, but a 5-run 9th inning (O’Flaherty must still be Team Braves, and Robles goes from hot to cold almost every batter) kept the series from being a complete joke. Let’s brush past that. Let’s be optimistic because my mom told me to enjoy the “new and improved” team and not wait for the other shoe to drop. It didn’t drop. Not tonight, at least. We’re fucking rolling. Harvey finally gets run support and gets over his Miami troubles (without Stanton in the lineup, of course). 7 IP, 0 R, 2 H. Ho-hum. 

And we’re scoring! In bunches! Cespedes is obviously the best player we’ve seen ever ever ever, but let’s not forget the additions of Conforto, Jelly, and Uribe. Conforto hit a crucial sac fly today when the game was still young,  and Uribe hit a 3-run BLAAAST (a billion feet) to make it a 7-0 game. Hooray for talented hitters. Hoo-fucking-ray.

Tomorrow is an off day. It’s also Wilmer “No More Tears by Johnson & Johnson” Flores’ 24th birthday. He’s still just a boy. He’s got a lil time to develop. Put Jelly at 2nd (especially against righties) and all of a sudden, Flores can start games in better environments where he can flourish. Depth!! Deeeppptthh!!

It’s Scripted…So Damn Scripted

Bathing in gatorade is better than bathing in your own tears.
Bathing in gatorade is better than bathing in your own tears.

Mets 2, Nats 1 (F/12)

Wilmer Flores not only played good defense and had the Mets’ first RBI, but he also lead off the bottom of the 12th with a walk-off dinger. Unreal. The crowd went ballistic for him, which is great. He was treated like shit by this organization (duhh) and the fans know it. I liked what the fans did and loved what Flores did.

Meanwhile Harvey (who was left in too long) let up 1 run and didn’t get the win. SHOCKING. Well, no more excuses, since this was the last game without Cespedes.

Lost in the mix: Robles’ amazing play and overall perfect inning. Same for Familia. Clippard got the job done in the 8th but walked a couple in the 9th. Learn when to yank, Terry! Terry’s hook is always misplaced.

Can we get some offense? Can we score runs for deGrom today? Enter Cespedes.

Mets Lose Game, Ace, and…HOLD THE PHONE!!

There's no crying in baseball!
There’s no crying in baseball!

Padres 7, Mets 3

Duda hit 3 solo dingers today. He only needed 5 more for the win!

Jesus fucking Christ what a whirlwind for Flores. My photo/caption is a little harsh, but I couldn’t resist quoting the great Jimmy Dugan (“avoid the clap”). The truth is that Flores is a gutsy player and we are all sad to see him go and the team handled that like shit–they were both unsympathetic and stupid for risking an injury–and we hope he does well and blah blah blah but the homecoming for Carlos Gomez is HUGE and…

NEVER FUCKING MIND!! Wheeler must have failed the physical. I guess he’s deeeeead.

It was a real win-win trade, too. The Mets would get Gomez, shut down Lagares, and by the time Lagares was healthy again, Gomez would be finishing up a contract year and we would get a 1st round pick for him (as long as we didn’t end up botching the qualifying offer). Also, by the time Wheeler will be healthy, we’ll have Fulmer up. It was looking good. Really good. Too good for this dogshit organization.

The Mets have ruined everything. Wheeler’s TJ was botched, most likely. Sandy should be humiliated. What a complete joke.

Maverick simply didn’t want Team Minaya back together. Change of heart what with Wheeler being his most prized possession.

TDA is supposedly coming back tomorrow. I wish we could say good riddance to Recker forever but knowing Travis, he’ll be on his 3rd injury by Sunday.

Most importantly: We’ve gotta win this series tomorrow. Let’s fucking go. Noon start. It’ll all be over soon.

Mets Call Up Herrera; Reynolds May Be Called Up Next

It’s about fucking time. The Mets’ middle infield is the worst I EVER DONE SEENT. The best guys should be out there. For now, while Wright remains on the DL, Murph will move to third.

Flores at SS could be done forever in two weeks. They may bring up Reynolds. That’s fine. I don’t care anymore. This team is about pitching. You have to protect the pitching. You can’t brag about your pitching and then have the worst defensive infield in MLB history. You have to protect your pitchers.

I don’t think Murph will be on the team next year. I think Flores will play 2nd–maybe, if he hits–and Reynolds will play short. I think Herrera will also play 2nd and Flores will play 3rd when David Wright gets injured again, because we all know that’s coming.

Who can hit? Who can field? Do we have someone that can do both? Wally Backman claims that Reynolds and Herrera can do both. PROVE IT! Find some fucking major leaguers and play them!

Sandy Alderson Isn’t Concerned…


Hey Sandy, are you concerned with Wilmer Flores, your purported starting SS for the foreseeable future, making ten errors and batting well below the Mendoza line?

“No,” said Sandy Alderson, the Mets GM, as he handed a hundred million dollars to Baby Jeffy Wilpon wrapped in a Mets snuggie that said, “Reyes 7” on the back of it.

Hey Sandy, are you concerned with Noah Syndergaard, your purported co-ace among aces for the foreseeable future, making multiple trips the MRI machine and experiencing forearm stiffness?

“No,” said Alderson, as he spoke with a funeral director about getting a grave plot next to, or at least in the vicinity of, Zack Wheeler’s tombstone.