baseball

The Front Office Will Blame The Fans When The Bullpen Sucks

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One of the big problems that the fans correctly pointed out this year was that the Mets had absolutely no backup plan for left-handed reliever Josh Edgin. Edgin tore it the fuck up last season, then tore his elbow the fuck up this Spring Training.

When Alderson commented that they were considering going into the season with no LH reliever, the fans were (rightfully) outraged. Since then, the Mets’ front office has drastically overcompensated and is now looking to carry three (mostly shitty) lefties in the bullpen.

When the lefties don’t do well, because let’s face it, they’ve never really done well, the Mets will blame the fans. They’ll say, “see, this is what you wanted!” Not only that, but the very fact that they knee-jerk responded to fan outcry is a true sign of idiocy. This isn’t quite on the scale of pablum as Star Wars Episode 1; George Lucas famously got his new character ideas by crowdsourcing, then everyone hated his new characters, then Lucas blamed them for being stupid.

Well, George Lucas, you’re supposed to be the visionary genius! The movie maverick! You’re supposed to be the idea man, not us! If it was easy to make a super awesome movie, everyone would do it.

Sandy Alderson reminds me of some kind of SNL character (or just a kid with Aspergers) who takes things too literally. Three fans are all asked, “what should the Mets do?” And each responds, “get a left handed reliever.” So what does Sandy “Vag” Alderson do? He goes and gets three left handed relievers!

Just like George Lucas, the Mets are all about selling tickets. Movies, baseball games, whatever. It’s about making money. The Mets feared that without a lefty reliever, they wouldn’t sell as many tickets. They were right about that. So they go and somehow shoot themselves in the foot even harder than they already had. To quote Jar-Jar Binks, “Yoosa team gonna stink, okeeday!”

New Pitcher Blevins Likes Being on the Mets and I’ll Tell You Why

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“I see a huge opportunity with this organization,” said newly acquired LH reliever Jerry Blevins. “We have a chance to shock some people in the NL East.”

Blevins went on to say, “You see, the Nationals are really good. I used to pitch for them. I’m very bad, so I’m very happy to be on the Mets! They didn’t even have any lefty relievers, so I made the team by default! It’s so awesome! They sent down my only potential competition, some guy named Dario something. I’m pretty sure that’s the guy who’s banging Daenerys on Game of Thrones. Anyway, Let’s Go Mets!”

NY Daily News As Dumb As Ever

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The Daily News said it was a “head-scratcher” that Big Sexy Colon is starting Opening Day. 

1) Praise Jesus, Opening Day is so close!

2) the NYDN is so fucking dumb. The Mets are starting their only Cy Young winner. The Mets are starting the only guy that won 15 games for em last year. The Mets are starting the only guy that suited up for the full season in 2014. The Mets are starting their only seasoned veteran–you NEVER give the keys to the castle to a young bull. It’s a no brainer.

3) The NYDN is paid by the Jewpons to undercut TC’s decisions and to turn the fanbase against the players and coaches. 

4) While Metsblow may rip into the players, it comes from love and understanding. Although Metsblow is a part of the media now, it is the only media source that hasn’t been bought out by the Jewpons. It is the only media source written by someone who participates in athletic events. It is the only media source that understands the locker room and understands the true nature of teamwork and the game. 

Money Muno, Batting Fif, Is Crushing It Today

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Does Money Muno have a home run today? Yes.

Does Money Muno have a triple today? Yes.

Does Money Muno read Metsblow? Undoubtedly, yes.

So my motivation was obviously vital, but I won’t take all the credit. I credit Alderson and TC for blindly throwing this no-name into the mix. I credit Latos for being over the hill. And of course, I credit Grapefruit League pitching in general for being dogshit.

Money Muuuuuunnnooo!! Metsblow.

Noah Syndergaard to the Minors

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Noah Syndergaard has been optioned to minor league camp. Syndergaard was scheduled to pitch on Saturday against the Tigers. This spring, Syndergaard appeared in three games, posted a 4.91 ERA over 7 1/3 innings. He struck out nine and walked three.

Why send him down a day before his scheduled start? I’ll tell you why: Because Vegas, that’s why! March Madness! He’s probably there to monitor his bracket.

Seriously, though, have you noticed how much this guy’s stock has plummeted? Matz is sooooo the guy, now. Thor might be out, y’all. He might really be out. He’s got the stuff, but boy does he get rattled up there. Learn to deal with an error, Noah. Learn to deal with when the ump doesn’t give you the call. Grow up, Peter Pan.

The Mets Will Immediately Know Where They Stand

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Take a look at the first month of the season. Here are the Mets’ opponents:

Nationals (3 away, 4 home)

Braves (3 away, 3 home)

Phillies (3 home)

Marlins (4 home, 3 away)

Yankees (3 away)

We will immediately know where we stand. And yes, I say “we” as if I’m on the team. We only play the division! The one exception being the Junkies! The Bronx Buyers themselves.

The season is a marathon, of course. The hot September team always has a shot, UNLESS you’re so far behind that it doesn’t matter (that’s what people told the Phillies in ’07). Let’s at least be in the damn thing come September.

A little stat work for ya: Last season, the current World Champion Giants went 16-11 in April, were up and down all year, and went 14-12 in September. They went 12-5 in the playoffs.

Hot starts matter. Every game matters. Consistency matters. Knowing where you stand matters. We’re trying to “take the damn thing,” and we will be tested immediately. We need to smack the shit out of the Phillies and Braves, show that we’re better than the Marlins, and hold our own against the Nats. Prove it, Mets. Prove it.

Who Will Start Opening Day?

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Terry Collins is choosing from Bartolo Colon, Jacob deGrom and Jon Niese for the Opening Day start against the Nationals in D.C.

Hey, who d’ya think will start Opening Day? Hey! Hey! Mets fans! Hey! News! Opening Day! Hope! Who’s it gonna be? Here’s my answer:

WHO CAAAAAAARRRESSS? Oops, I answered your question with another question.

The Mets-media loooooves fake stories. They love conjuring up meaningless bullshit. Well, is this all you can conjure, Sauromon? Go fuck yourselves. This isn’t news!! This is gossip dogshit. I’m sure all this Opening Day starter crap is burying some real news that they don’t want out, like how Zack Wheeler is out forever or some shit.

Everyone knows Matt Harvey is the ace. Everyone knows he can’t be the Opening Day starter because it’s disrespectful to the players that played last season. deGrom won a big award (RoY) but he was still a rookie biyatch and therefore shouldn’t start over the long-tenured Niese or the elder statesman Colon.

It’ll probably be Colon. But again, WHO CARES!?!? What’s the 5-man rotation? Harvey, Colon, Niese, deGrom, Gee. Boom. Start one of them. Then, start another. Then, another. And so on. Then, repeat. We start the season against the Nationals. So uhhh, let’s not get our shit pushed in like we did against them all of last year. It’s a three game series. We have faith in all 5 of our starters? Then put any three out there and let’s see what happens. Mets-media-paid-off-by-Wilpons, shut the fuck up.

The Mets Still Need a Lefty Reliever But Won’t Put Up The Dough

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The Orioles are willing to trade LH reliever Brian Matusz sending cash in the deal, “but the Mets may prefer other options,” major-league sources recently said.

And by other options, they of course mean, “keeping the money in our greedy Jew pockets.”

The Mets are looking at Cardinals LH reliever Sam Freeman and Nationals LH reliever Xavier Cedeno. Both are out of options and unlikely to make their team’s Opening Day rosters, indicating they could be available in trade.

Oh, great! So we’re looking at picking up a dude from the scrap heap! Awesome! Amazin’! Let’s Go Mets!

This is why the Edgin TJ is even worse than the Wheeler TJ. Wheeler fell in the one area where we actually have the depth to (mostly) make up for it. But without Edgin–who was absolutely lethal last year and only getting better–we’re totally fucked in the bullpen. Well, we wouldn’t be totally fucked if the Wilpons weren’t the total Jew fucks that they are, but here we are. Metsblow.

The Projected Lineup Is Strong; No Contingency Plan

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1- Lagares CF

2- Grandy LF

3- Wright 3B

4- Duda 1B

5- Cuddyer RF

6- Murphy 2B

7- d’Arnaud C

8- Flores SS

—

Well, well, looky here. A good lineup! AMAZIN’! The fences were moved in. So they’ll want Grandy batting 2nd to hit more dingers. Murphy hits for a higher .avg, but they’re gonna want to give Grandy more ABs. It could be switched.

The main concern is, of course, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WHEN SOMEONE GETS HURT? For the past 4 years, we have had automatic outs at 6, 7, and 8. Now, we don’t. But what about when Cuddyer gets hurt and it’s Mayberry instead? Tejada instead of Flores? Recker instead of d’Arnaud?

When the Giants lost Posey in 2011, their backup plan was, “ok, we’ll just lose this year. It’s over.” That’s fine when discussing David Wright. He’s our franchise player. He’s our super-elite. He’s paid a lot. He’s our, “We absolutely need him to be effective and healthy and to lead the team” guy. But everyone else? Where is the fucking contingency? It’s in the Wilpons’ pockets.

Advice for Dillon Gee

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Dillon Gee is pissed, and rightly so.

He was the Opening Day starter last year, and rightly so, considering Harvey and Niese were injured at the time.

Gee wants to be a starter. Now he is, but only by default. He’s found his way back into the rotation because of Zack Wheeler’s season ending injury.

“It’s tough to feel happy under these circumstances,” Gee told reporters Tuesday. “I hate this is the way I’m back in it.”

Here is my advice: play your way off the team. The Mets don’t want you here. You don’t want to be here. You want to be a starter. The Mets will pen you the minute Matz or Thor is ready (assuming no other injuries, which is admittedly a lofty assumption). Hell, they might even replace you with Montero.

Play your way off the team. You have been overlooked by the Mets. I agree with how you feel. After your oblique injury, you haven’t looked so good. But before it, you were deservedly the Opening Day starter. Get back to that. Earn it. Earn your spot in the rotation of a real team.