I Think These Are Gonna Be Tough to Write



I’m so glad Metsblow Nation did the damn job of the century last year. We protested and boycotted and stuck together and now our team’s really fucking good. I wish we could’ve split in KC last Fall, but yeah, the Mets (or at least the pitchers) really don’t blow.

Wright’s back must be BAAARKING after 2 stolen bases. He lead the league in steals there for a moment. Loco Turtle is on the loose.

Thank Gawd Thor is a new Met. How “same ol’ Mets” did that 6th inning look? A runner gets to 1st on a K, DP doesn’t get turned, 1 pitch later another failed DP, garbage bloop single, ump squeezes us for a walk and…a big fat 3 pitch K to Morales. Syndergaard WOOF.

Happy recap for the pen as well. 9 up, 9 down for Henderson-Reed-Fam. I’m surprised that Robles didn’t pitch the 8th. I’m not complaining, I just thought that Robles was the setup man, at least for April. I’m wary. I think he might secretly be hurt (update: suspended) or something. Quickpitch quickpitch in yo face. Fam getting the save in KC was nice to see. He might be the best pitcher we have.

Neil Walker with a dong piece. Meet the Mets.

Final Blow: Di Blasio banned chewing tobacco in NY? What the fuck? It’s bad enough everybody’s getting sliiiiiced up on the train. Now you’re gonna take away Harvey’s lip? The chaw? Big Chief? Plug? Wad? Baccy? All the pros do it. It gives you tons of energy. I’m sure our boys will find some way to get their buzz on. I’m optimistic.




Preblow: Thor Tries And Stop 3-Game Skid


I don’t have shit to say. CGSO or bust. Thor may need to go 14 innings to win this one. Fuck this team. We’d be a 100 win team with a fucking medicore-at-best hitting/fielding lineup. Instead, we dump out the WORST road team in the history of baseball. Nobody scores less runs. Nobody gift wraps more runs for the other team. Disgusting. Metsblow.

Preblow: Thor Makes his ML Debut

High School Prom King
High School Prom King

Thor is finally getting the call! Wow, what an exciting day. The guy has an OPS of 1.364! We’ve really needed an impact bat for over two (five?) years now, and I think we’ve found that bat in Syndergaard. Our offense has just been beyond frail since Wright and d’Arnaud went down with cases of METS, and it’ll be good to have someone who can hit coming up…oh, and apparently he can pitch well, too. Well, you can still bat him cleanup, can’t you? He likely belongs there when compared to our dogshit lineup.

A lot was made about the young Noah not getting the call last season. A lot was also made about #HamSandwichGate and I respect all of it. Don’t ever a kid the keys to the castle. Make him work. Syndergaard has now admitted, “Not getting the call [last year]¬†motivated me. Last year taught me how to struggle and how to handle adversity.”

Get ready for a new struggle, Noah: The struggle of losing games 1-0! Hopefully you can mash at the major league level, too, because your DOMINANCE on the mound won’t be enough! Go ahead and ask every other pitcher on the team!

Noah Syndergaard to the Minors

Noah Syndergaard has been optioned to minor league camp. Syndergaard was scheduled to pitch on Saturday against the Tigers. This spring, Syndergaard appeared in three games, posted a 4.91 ERA over 7 1/3 innings. He struck out nine and walked three.

Why send him down a day before his scheduled start? I’ll tell you why: Because Vegas, that’s why! March Madness! He’s probably there to monitor his bracket.

Seriously, though, have you noticed how much this guy’s stock has plummeted? Matz is sooooo the guy, now. Thor might be out, y’all. He might really be out. He’s got the stuff, but boy does he get rattled up there. Learn to deal with an error, Noah. Learn to deal with when the ump doesn’t give you the call. Grow up, Peter Pan.