Nice Game, Pretty Boy

Dear Matt Harvey: FUCK YOU.

Dear Jeurys Familia: FUCK YOU. I know this clot is WBC related. 

Dear Mets: FUCK YOU. Can’t put it all on Harvey. The Mets got little leagued so hard last night. How old were you when you learned about the 1st & 3rd delayed double steal play? 7 years old? 8? Unfuckingbelievable!!! Simply amazin’. And with Villar on 3rd. Wow. The absolute littlest of the little league plays. That takes getting outcoahed to a whole new level. 

…But Harvey’s Dead…

Yo hit 3 (3!) dingers. Duda hit 2. Druubz hit 1. Even TDA had 1. 

They were tape measure bombs. It was BP out there. All is well, right? Wrong! Harvey’s dead. He’s fucking dead. Tight hammy today. Updated to brain aneurysm tomorrow. Book it.

Also, let me be the first to point out that 14 runs on 7 dingers (20 hits) is pretty bad. I’m amazed at how many solo dingdongs there were. 

Happy #HarveyDay?


Hey Harvey looked good. Hey we won 2 out of 3 from the Braves. All good, right? NO! Wrong. We can’t hit for shit. The Braves gifted us this game because they blow. We gifted them game 2 because Mets blow. Thankfully we’re used to the futility.

Also thanks to the rain, the stands were pretty empty. Sorry Harvey, your triumphant return was not a must-see event. Not in person, anyway. You’re not the king of New York. Remember pitching to pitch and win and not so you could be on magazine covers? #humble

Mets Up; Harvey Down


What did you expect? You thought we could have nice things?

Harvey’s dead. We all figured it was some type of injury. It’s his shoulder. Yikes. Could be out for a while–maybe until next season. Maybe just 15 days. Further tests are needed.

deGrom knows how to pitch. He let up two solo dingers to Stanton but we had runs to spare and hedidn’t pitch to him with runners on. It’s NOT COMPLICATED!

Reyes hit two doubles and Flores hit two dingers (again). Grandy actually had a clutch hit. Fam with the save. We took care of the Marlins. We should’ve swept but we don’t know how to play sound baseball.

We’re more than halfway through. Things start to take shape now. It’s still not good to scoreboard watch. You should take care of your own. Do your job and it all falls into place. Buuuuuut: 4 games back behind Wsh. 4 games at home against Wsh. SO BIG!

Harvey Outdueled by Doo Doo Scrub

The headline says it all, no? We were held completely in check by John Gant. Gant?! I fucking can’t. This guy actually used to be in the Mets organization. I think we got Uribe for him. Or Jelly? Or both? Gant & Whalen for Uribe & Jelly. Whatever. Not to mention their dogshit bullpen also made us look bad.

Good for Loney for straight up saying, “the rule needs to be adjusted.” Unbelievable way for the game to end. You can’t grab a guy’s legs but woooow the league really can’t it right. Utley gets us again!

Another rule that needs adjusting: Wasn’t Gant’s delivery illegal? Give me a break.

We’re NOT Falling Apart

Redemption for Matt! Redemption for Jeurys! 

Hats off to Rene Rivera for taking charge behind the plate. Plawecki’s not hitting. TDA is dead. Rivera’s skills as a defenseman and game manager make him #1 in my current depth chart. 

We’re not hitting. Without Cespedes, we’d be under .500 but hey we got him so it’s all good. Neil Walk-Year hit a solo dinger and we won 1-0, thanks to bounce-back performances by Harvey and Familia. They’re not all the way back, but this was a promising first step. If Harvey is the Dark Knight again, and Familia is the closer we know he can be, we’re back on pace for 100 wins. 

It’d be nice to see more hitting–situational hitting, bunting, keeping the line moving, etc. Let’s see if Loney can provide that for us. 

Harvey Should Go on DL; Pray Some Hitters Come Off It

Pray for Harvey, yes yes. Tommy John takes two years. This is what Strasburg looked like for a while, too. It’ll be fine. DL him and let him recover. 

But what about this lineup? 

Curtis Granderson, RF 

Asdrubal Cabrera, SS 

Michael Conforto, LF 

Yoenis Cespedes, CF 

Neil Walker, 2B 

Eric Campbell, 1B 

Kevin Plawecki, C

Ty Kelly, 3B

Matt Harvey, RHP

It’s not that sweet! Soup hit a meaningless dinger. But we’re not scoring. Pray for Duda. Pray for TDA. This lineup is NOT the juggernaut that our “on paper” lineup was. This is trouble. The Mets are looking into James Loney. Do something, Sandy! We really aren’t scoring. And we know TDA is dead forever. 

What’s Wrong With Harvey?


What’s wrong with Matt Harvey? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. We scored ZERO runs!! How about that for a fucking stat? Everybody’s all up on him. Yeah letting up someone’s first career homer is bad. Yeah letting up 3 in 5.2 against a dogshit offense is bad. Yeah I’m worried about his trajectory. But hold the fucking phone, we got ONE FUCKING HIT. Uhhh, yeah I’m not a math guru but I’m pretty sure that if you score zero runs, even MadBum ain’t gonna get the W. Derrrrrp.

Win the series. That’s all that matters. 2 out of 3 at home against the Braves. Good enough.

Division Blow: Papelbon aka Captain Chokeslam let up 3 runs against the Royals and blew it hard. What a mook. I can’t believe he’s still on the Nats. They’re so dumb.

Mets Sign Blevins; Terry Talks Cespedes


1 year. 4mil. Great deal. Contract year for a stud lefty specialist with glass bones. The first fistfight in Punch-Out.

Still need Tolo. Still need Clip. Bastardo, mayhaps? BASTARDO!! The star of Spanish Game of Thrones.

Today, when asked about Cespedes, Terry said, “I know they are working to find some backup pieces that will help us out.” Choooo. Big dick swing from Terry. He might as well have called them jewfags. Publicly stating that the Mets front office is only going to get backups is calling them the fuck out. Of course we’re all going to crazy hearing that. That means they’re not even going to get Span or Parra! That’s insane! OUT OF CONTROL!

For the past 7 years, they’ve been saying we needed to be patient for NOW. And you know what? They were absolutely right. The young studs are elite. You have to move all-in now. You promised. And you were right. Fulfill the prophecy.

I think deGrom’s words on Cespedes were BIG. If Harvey said it, it’d be front page news. Let that be a lesson in how the media protrays someone. Don’t get me wrong, deGrom is very much the antithesis of Harvey in a lot of ways, like Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker, or Fire & Ice. That makes deGrom being the guy to speak up about Cespedes even more meaningful. I hope Harvey calls Sandy a fagoat.

Members of the Metsblow war room are claiming they will walkout if our demands aren’t met and I’m inclined to agree. Here is the list:

~Fill the remaining 4 roster spots (SP, RP, CF, backup 1B/OF) with real major leaguers

~One of the two pitching spots should be for Tolo.

~They may not put Flores as the backup 1B. Must replace Cuddy

~Get Cespedes. If you’re really, actually NOT going to sign Cespedes…if that’s a fucking THING, even after he proved to be the impact bat we’ve been dying for, even after he was the enzyme catalyst impetus spark synergist reactant kaboom bang bullshit intangible sports word that you wanna use X-FACTOR, even after what deGrom said, even after he put the whole city on his back, then you better fucking do something else that shows you believe in this team. The young guns will be fucking pissed. Look what the Giants do for Posey. Look what the Cubs are doing for Bryant. Bryant is going to be a lot easier to sign when he sees how much his GM cares.


Give Harvey the Game Ball and the Shot

Mets 4, Cubs 2

I don’t need to recap shit because all of Metsblow nation watched. Murph’s bat (and glove?!), Cespedes’ arm, Grandy’s skills, Familia’s work…we know this. All I’m saying is give Matt Harvey the fucking shot. He got rocked in the pitching arm on a comebacker. Adrenaline kept him out there but he’s gonna be sore as shit today. Boras must be going nuts. Give him the cortisone or the roids or whatever the fuck helps. Give him the game ball and the shot.