Flores hurt in first exhibition game

Wilmer Flores, our starting shortstop, left today’s game (the first exhibition game of the year) after being hit by a pitch in the wrist.

We didn’t sign anyone despite the clear black hole at SS because the Mets were comfortable with Flores. I said in multiple articles that EVEN IF FLORES IS GOOD (unproven), you still need to sign someone as a contingency plan. Spend money? Yeah, right. It’s all good! 

And Flores is now hurt. Without finishing 1 game.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Bahahahahahaha.

Tejada? Reynolds? A shortstop that costs more than nothing? No chance for the third option.

Hahahahaha. 

All this laughing is hurting my obliques. Hey Duda! Metsblow. 

Hot Take from Metsblog: Sandy Alderson Will Be Disappointed if the Mets Don’t Make the Playoffs

Wow, great headline there Metsblog!

Also, kids are disappointed when they find out Santa isn’t real.

I won’t be that disappointed since my expectations are low. Why would we, a 79-win team that hasn’t improved in the offseason be disappointed that we don’t make the playoffs? I mean hell, if we win 85 games this year, that’d be nice, but is that even a playoff team? I doubt it.

Sandy Alderson also said, “We don’t have an All-Star at every position, but we don’t have gaping holes either.” Just then, Wilmer Flores and Ruben Tejada came poking out of the dugout, only to be swatted away by brooms and sprayed with water as they hissed and retreated.

Speaking of gaping holes, how bout owner? There’s a position with a huge gaping hole. HUGE. GAPING. HOLE. Actually, it’s more that we (the fans) are the ones with the huge gaping holes. Hey Sandy, hey Jeffy: at least take us to dinner first.

Will Flores Be Clutch?

Mets’ AAA Vegas affiliate manager, lead gambler, and likely 2016 Mets manager Wally Backman says Flores is, “absolutely big-time in RBI situations.”

There should be plenty of opportunities to test this theory in 2015, seeing as how last year the Mets were as unclutch as any team I have ever seen with RISP. They had plenty of opportunities, too. They couldn’t score with a drunk slut on prom night.

Flores. 2015. Clutch. 80 RBIs (yeah, right) from him would go a long way.

Alderson/Flores on SS

Alderson gave Cal Ripken award and said something like, “Mets fans have been waiting for me to introduce a shortstop.” Yeah that’s all in good fun until you realize that you’re a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE getting paid by BILLIONAIRES. Quit joking around and do your fucking job.

Flores, not liking all the SS buzz in Metsland, said something like, “I know what I can do, man. I know what I can do.” So do we Wilmer, so do we.