Worst Loss of the Year


Let me take you through this game one beat at a time…

~La Potenciaaaaaa!!

~Matz is dealing. That’s good. Got an edge on lefty Freeman.

~I love Loney’s aggression. Braves suck. With flawless execution, Loney would have been out by 15 feet. Like the Royals, stupidly aggressive baserunning works against teams that can’t play baseball. I also love the sarcastic cheer when we got a run in NOT via the HR. Standing ovation.

~Frenchie! Damn, still up 3-2. Gotta hold them. Cancel the season if we lose this game/series to the Braves. You know 3 runs is our quota. We ain’t scoring again. Not against the LEEETHAL Braves pen.

~Collins is taking Matz out!? FUCK COLLINS. 99 pitches. Are you fucking kidding me? Who are we bringing in? Henderson? OK, let’s see if we can g…FUUUUUUCCCKK COLLINS!!! (First pitch dinger…really impressive).

~We’re the worst team in the league. Inciarte could have scored on the previous wild pitch, but Rivera did just enough. Two fucking WPs in a row. He was only on 3rd because Grandy let him advance. Really amazing stuff. Ender’s gaming is hard. Go-ahead run on a sequence of events like that. Wow.

~Braves are TERRIBLE!! Error in the bottom of the 9th! Gotta take advantage.

~OOOOOOOOOH we’re the worst team ever!! Team speeeeeeeeed! Team baserunning! Ghosts of Murph! The stupid baserunning that Loney did earlier had NOTHING on this one. Flores was about by 30 feet. Could’ve been 2nd & 3rd and nobody out. We’re absolutely terrible. Worst game of the year.

Harvey Outdueled by Doo Doo Scrub

The headline says it all, no? We were held completely in check by John Gant. Gant?! I fucking can’t. This guy actually used to be in the Mets organization. I think we got Uribe for him. Or Jelly? Or both? Gant & Whalen for Uribe & Jelly. Whatever. Not to mention their dogshit bullpen also made us look bad.

Good for Loney for straight up saying, “the rule needs to be adjusted.” Unbelievable way for the game to end. You can’t grab a guy’s legs but woooow the league really can’t it right. Utley gets us again!

Another rule that needs adjusting: Wasn’t Gant’s delivery illegal? Give me a break.

Big Bat of Big Sexy So Big

Colon pitched a gem, hit an oppo double, and scored after tagging to 3rd on Grandy’s fly ball and coming in on Yo’s sac fly.

You’ve just gotta learn how to slide, Bart!

Great play by Conforto in the field. And a dinger. Stay smooth. Time off helped him. Heal and pray. Walker back in the lineup also hit a dinger. We live and die by the dinger, and by our horses, of course.

Grandy’s really coming around. He hit a dinger and he would’ve had two RBI on a solid oppo fly but Joyce made a pretty damn fine catch out there to rob him. I like his intentions going the other way there.


Flores the Cleanup Gawd!

Thor is the God of thunder but Flores is the God of cleaning up. Keep him there! Terry pushing all the right buttons! Most of the time, bases loaded with nobody out is right where the opponent wants us, but Flores hit a 40ft bomb and actually got us a run and hey, you’ll take it. He also hit an actual bomb later. 

I liked Reynolds’ AB in the 1st. That made it 3-0 and “broke the game open” with Noah on the hill. Lots of contributions tonight. Jelly hit the peanut butter out of one. Cespedes’ exit velocity averaged about a billion mph tonight. “He’s so strong,” said a fawning Keith. 

So, Metsblow and will probably score two or fewer tomorrow, but would you take it? If the season ended today, we’d be a wildcard team. Do you take it? Beggars can’t be choosers, right? Just get in? I wouldn’t take it today because we wouldn’t be able to put Thor on the mound for the play-in game. 

It’s Official: We’re Bad


Well, we didn’t get no-no’d!

deGrom must have the highest ERA in the history of 3-3 pitchers in June, right? Those runs shouldn’t even be earned. Plawecki doesn’t make that error (btw he made another error later), everything’s changed. Way to help your pitcher out, Kevin! KEVIN! WHAT DID YOU TO MY ROOM!? What did you do to my team!?

We’re bad. We’re so bad. Trade the farm and Wright for Arenado. Let him finish his career smoking weed with Reyes on the Denver bench.


Would You Rather Watch This Team Or Be In The Hospital? 

Lou Brown might celebrate, but Collins has nothing to cheer for.

Terry bailed. He said, “fuck this team” and went to the damn hospital instead. I like it. Fuck this team.

Mets bloooow. The elite aces have gotta put up zeroes. And strike out everyone because our D is horrendous. 

In 62 games this season, we’ve scored fewer runs than we had scored by this time last season! That’s so fucking bad. Our record is better. At least there’s that. 

Nice to see Fulmer fuck up the Yankees. But that’s basically irrelevant. We stink. 

Mets are Terrible but Brewers are Worse

Image of Mets baserunners after being stranded all game and all season.

Wow so this is the difference between a below .500 team and a shitty team with bad coaching but with lots of talent.

The Mets are terrible. Plawecki is the new Soup. The lineup is not complete with him in it. The baserunning was atrocious. Jelly?! You’re supposed to be a vet! Wilmer got sooooo lucky on the game winning play. He was dead to rights but the Brewers are just retarded and terrible. We stranded a million runners. Soooo awful. No situational etc. etc. fuck Collins. 

We got lucky with replays, too. At home and at 3rd. We should’ve lost this game.

Yo hit one to the moon. That was cool.

Cap’n Kirk made a great catch. We know he can field, though.

Jelly Jelly? Are you Dunn?

Check out our draft pick! He throws hard cheddar! I like it! Dunn dunn dunnnnn.

As I predicted, new Jelly is out to make room for OG Jelly. 

And we played a good game? Woooow. Good job, Colon. Good job, situational hitters. What a fantasy world–Wilmer went 3 for 4. Unreal. In truth, the game shouldn’t have been close. We stranded so many damn runners. 

So is Harvey back? Find out tonight.