Yes, Tolo hit a dinger. Replays for days. A testament to his work ethic. That’s the REAL secret stuff.
Yes, the Mets won. They hit a bunch of dingers (La Potencia, Big Sexy, Captain America, Young Savior). 2 came in the 9th. Colon gets the W. Fam gets the S.
So many fucking dingers! It’s fun!
I was wrong when I said the Mets’ late inning almost-comeback meant they were going to shake the jet lag. Sue me. Wrong once. Whatever. Fuck you. I didn’t realize they were facing a lefty tonight. I didn’t check the probables because I knew Thor was going and I penciled in a W.
Thor was prettay, prettay good. Im impressed with how quickly he’s fixing his slow delivery. I’m not gonna address that, really. We got shutout. That’s pathetic. What the fuck was Teufel thinking sending Dru on that Flores double? It actually WORKED, though. The Mets pulled a Royals aka a Kit Keller and said, “I’m running when it’s retarded to run but I don’t think you’ll make the play.” And guess what–Norris (Padres C) dropped the ball! The ump, being the retard that he is, called Dru out before seeing that Norris dropped the ball. For some reason, he didn’t change the call when the ball was clearly loose. Aaaaand for some reason, Dru never touched home plate. Touch the fucking base, holmes. Had he, I think the call gets overturned. But knowing the retarded umps at base camp, that’s hard to say. So congrats to everyone involved in that play. You are all special.
I actually do know what Tim Teufel was thinking there. He knew Rivera and then Thor (even though it would’ve been a PH) were coming up. Pray for TDA. When he’s healthy, the lineup has no holes.
Well, I called it. The Mets (other than Grandy) looked like absolute shit. Dog tired and spaced out.
However, there’s good news, as it only lasted them about 7 innings or so. They weren’t no-hit, or even shutout by the end of it. I think they shook it off too little too late for that game, but in time for tonight.
San Diego also has some kind of Mets kryptonite, huh? We have the worst record of any team in Petco, and let’s not forget what SD did to us last season in that fateful thunderstorm.
Sidenote: Ron Darling once struck out Tony Gwynn 3 times in 1 game. Now THAT’s kryptonite.
Other sidenote: Apparently Tony Gwynn, despite being an incredible athlete, was not a natural in the outfield. He trained countless hours at it and rose from what the scouts called “sub par D” to a gold glove winner. Now that is some inspiring shit. Alright, time to move 3 feet from my computer to my TV to watch this game. That should cover my exercise for the day.
Mets win Mets win sweet homestand Braves blow Harvey blows dingers dingers dingers. Whatever. Braves are terrible. Good for us for looking good.
Now for an 11 game west coast road trip. That’s a mouthful, like the title of this article. I’ll be staying up but I don’t have a job. I don’t even think most die hards watch these games. Keith–who hated doing these cold May games–wouldn’t be caught dead at these games. He’s got the whole trip off.
Next time someone argues against the modern athlete, and you don’t feel like using the usual “steroids were pushed by the league and legal and a sign of the times and everybody did them so the playing field was even” argument, give them this: When the FUCK did athletes start having to play in NYC one night, and then in San Diego the next night? That’s gotta give a little asterisk to the stats. Wah wah wah those poor athletes on their private planes, right? Eh, you try it. I can’t breathe or hear or walk straight for 3 days after a flight like that, let alone crush dingers.
What’s wrong with Matt Harvey? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. We scored ZERO runs!! How about that for a fucking stat? Everybody’s all up on him. Yeah letting up someone’s first career homer is bad. Yeah letting up 3 in 5.2 against a dogshit offense is bad. Yeah I’m worried about his trajectory. But hold the fucking phone, we got ONE FUCKING HIT. Uhhh, yeah I’m not a math guru but I’m pretty sure that if you score zero runs, even MadBum ain’t gonna get the W. Derrrrrp.
Win the series. That’s all that matters. 2 out of 3 at home against the Braves. Good enough.
Division Blow: Papelbon aka Captain Chokeslam let up 3 runs against the Royals and blew it hard. What a mook. I can’t believe he’s still on the Nats. They’re so dumb.
We win. Braves are dogshit. Dingers in the 1st (Wright, Yo, Dude) and then we got shut the fuck out but it was enough.
Terry, why the FUCK did you pull Bart for the 9th?! Under 100 pitches. Not a save situation. You just want Jeurys to get work in? Uhhh, he got the save on Saturday. Retarded. Terry’s hook is retarded.
#HarveyDay is tomorrow. Can he stop this potent Braves lineup?!
And this is why it was so fucking important to scratch that win out the previous day. Thor is a developing young STUD. He will work on getting the ball out of his hands quicker. He very well could win a Cy Young. But MadBum is already established. He is incredible. And he’s a lefty, which stopped Conforto. Like Thor, Conforto is a developing stud who may crush lefties soon enough, but for now just rip your cap to MadBum because he’s super elite and this was always going to be a loss.
Hunter Pence–crazy picadillos and all–sure can hit the high heat a fucking mile.
Doo doo Braves in town! Take advantaaaaage.
I went to the game today. We won 6-5. It should have been 10-0. When you’re hot, you’re hot. We won. Somehow. I can’t really explain how…oh wait…yes I can. It’s for 2 reasons:
We really blow, though. TC kept Reed in for too long. WHAT ELSE IS NEW!? deGrom got squeezed but was wild. He had to throw a shitload of extra pitches thanks to all the unearned runs. We ended the game on Flores triple clutching and making a terrible throw that Duda only caught by putting his arm out into traffic and potentially shattering it. Robles got SOOOO lucky that Pence’s would-be go-ahead grand slam got knocked down by the wind. I can’t believe we won. This wasn’t a fun game to watch. It was fun at times. But it was brutal and a hollow win. Fuck it. I’ll take it. Thor for the sweep vs. MadBum tomorrow!
MetsBlow 