If You’re Gonna Concuss Someone, At Least Catch the Fuckin’ Ball

Things that got DROPPED: First the ball, then Conforto

Mets looooose. Let’s break it down:

Sanchez, the Nats’ starter, died. In like the 2nd inning? And the Nats have a terrible bullpen! Maybe we won’t lose! Wheeler only gave up 4 runs in the first inning. That should be surmountable.

Whoa! We scored 4! Go Conforto Go! Big dinger!

Damn, Wheeler really got done up. Nats have his number. We’re losing again. We’re definitely going to lose.

The Nats are bad. REALLY BAD. Not for the whole season, but RIGHT NOW IN THIS SERIES THEY ARE BAD. They can’t turn a dp for shit. Worst bullpen in the league. And we still lost 2 out of 3. No Scherzer. No Strasburg. No Turner. We’ll never get an opportunity like this against the Nats again. Blown. Blooooown.

McNeil injured. We’re fooked. Ab tightness. I guess it’s beach season.

Conforto got fucking DROPPED by Cano. He’s dead. Concussed. Dead. Whatever. Nice collision. Oh and nobody caught the ball. Oh and that easy pop-up became a double. Oh and he scored. Oh and we lost by 1 run. Oh. Oh. Blow.

We never had a fucking chance with today’s lineup.

I know we don’t have a 3rd catcher, but if anyone with even halfway decent speed pinch ran for Ramos, we would’ve tied it up. Callaway could’ve been creative. Have deGrom run. Or have Broxton run and have deGrom (or Thor or Matz) PH there or something. Do anything but what you did. This isn’t hindsight, either. I was screaming at the TV.

What a game. Mets blow.

Lagares Dead. Matz Probably Dead. Conforto Doomed.

Lagares dead? Duhhhh. Expected. Obvious. He has no place on the Mets and why would want any value out of a gold glover? Plummet that trade value, boys.

Matz with a “minor” elbow flare-up. Kenan? Kenan?! Whatcha mean, minor? Huh? Awwwww, here it goes.

So now the Mets are gonna have Conforto rot on the bench instead of getting his reps in the minors. Both answers are wrong. We should’ve traded him two years ago for Arenado. Now the Mets are in his head. Bumgarner and all lefties are in his head. Hey, wait, that’s fucking baseball! If you can’t deal with asshole owners and asshole pitchers, you can’t be a ballplayer. So get tough, get your bp in, and make the most of your starts. A crowded OF is good. Be a fucking major leaguer. Spell Grandy because he’s old. I’m glad Bruce wasn’t traded. I’m glad Conforto wasn’t traded (for anyone other than Arenado) and now, thanks to a “lucky” injury to Lagares, the incompetent brass is forced to make the correct move. 

Mets Win Hungover

That ain’t gatorade

I went to Saturday’s game. Awful, awful game. But the Grandy fireworks were spectacular. Almost made up for the fact that they struggled so much against the doodoo Twins. I also didn’t get a deGrom hair hat but arrived in time to let everyone know that Jacob needs surgery. Great day for deGrom day!

But what was nice was that the Mets definitely parties their faces off after the extra innings win. Yo and Grandy were probably neck deep in “it.” Cespedes had to leave the day game with a massive hangover. That’s pretty funny. He’s fine. He’s fine. Don’t panic. Stop panicking! 

Also Ynoa (sounds kinda like Noah) looked like Noah and Conforto looked like pre-Bumgarner Conforto. So there’s that. Good sweep, even though it was a struggle. Interleague is tough, I guess. Facing the unknown is tough. In September, you face guys hungry for jobs. But we took care of business (eventually) and now let’s do the same against Notlanta.

Fuck this Team

I knew all the “we have the Cubs’ number” talk was silly, but I really thought we had Lester. I was at the July 3rd schillacking. It was Cespedes sleeve day. I can’t believe he mowed us down. He’s a bum. We suck. We had opportunities. At least Conforto went oppo! 

Mets Sweep; Duda Dead

Thor is a god? Nice.

Conforto dinger? Nice.

Mets not really hitting against doodoo Brew Crew? Not nice. Got the sweep? Yeeeeeeah buuuuuut we didn’t hit well. 

Duda getting a 2nd MRI? Not nice. DEAD! TDA also dead. Wright dying. Way to walk it off on Saturday. 3-0 cookie yum yum. Hardest hit ball I’ve seen off his bat in a while. Pray. 

How bout Conforto plays 1st, Reynolds plays 3rd, and Lagares plays CF? That might not be so bad. I’m a 1B/LF and it works for me so it’ll work for Conforto. We are kin, yay.

Now we go to Washington. GO TIME! 

Mets Played Like Shit And…Won?

Slap hands!

I went to the game today. We won 6-5. It should have been 10-0. When you’re hot, you’re hot. We won. Somehow. I can’t really explain how…oh wait…yes I can. It’s for 2 reasons:

  1. Michael Conforto. Sign him up forever. Conforto 3rd and Cespedes cleanup FOREVER.
  2. The middle infield. We have nobody who can make the throw from 3rd. Wow. Jeez. Stanko. But Walker and Asdrubal are both hitting (Walker especially) and more importantly turned a difficult (but routine for major leaguers) double play in the 9th, ultimately keeping Posey from coming to bat.

We really blow, though. TC kept Reed in for too long. WHAT ELSE IS NEW!? deGrom got squeezed but was wild. He had to throw a shitload of extra pitches thanks to all the unearned runs. We ended the game on Flores triple clutching and making a terrible throw that Duda only caught by putting his arm out into traffic and potentially shattering it. Robles got SOOOO lucky that Pence’s would-be go-ahead grand slam got knocked down by the wind. I can’t believe we won. This wasn’t a fun game to watch. It was fun at times. But it was brutal and a hollow win. Fuck it. I’ll take it. Thor for the sweep vs. MadBum tomorrow!

And Now For a Real Test

Conforto the young BULL

So the Mets “did their job” and swept the doodoo Reds. Conforto is a beast (thank god they didn’t let the kid see Vegas), Harvey settled in, Walker trotted around the bases with his 1-year contract in hand, and the backups (Juanny Beisbol, De Aza, Plawecki…) showed us the meaning of depth. 

Not sooooo faaaaast. The Mets looked like SHIT. We botched a pickle for fucks sake! We’re not smooth. Now the real test comes with SF in this weekend. We won’t be able to beat them playing the way we’ve been playing.

Take a look at these pitching matchups!

Fri: Matz/Peavy

Sat: deGrom/Cain 

Sun: Thor/Madbum

Daaaaaamn. Exciting stuff.

On Plawecki: Last year, every time d’Arnaud got hurt, TC said that his job was safe. Not this time! TC referred to Wally Pipp and he, like everyone else, knows that TDA is dead and now it’s Plawecki’s job to keep, so long as he hits. 

Is It Scripted? 

Greinke’s got a big scoreless streak. The Mets finally have an offense. Is this Conforto’s time? Wouldn’t it be too perfect if he breaks the streak?

Just remember, if that happens, you’ve got to get your hopes waaaaay up. The Mets never let us down. Get ready to get hyped.

By the way, the scoreless streak is BULLSHIT. Greinke let up runs in the all star game. Bullshit streak. Total bullshit. Not a real 0-for.