Why is Matt Harvey Getting Blamed?

Harvey dunzo.

Yeah, Harvey stinks. We get it. He emptied the tank last November. His bladder’s got a blood clot. His head’s not in the right place. We get it. We get it. Remember Strasburg had a few shitty years, too, before becoming the elite pitcher he is right now. Ebb and flow and all that bullshit.

But more importantly, Harvey is only out there for one out of five or so games. WHAAAAT THE FUUUUCCK happened to the hitting? We are scoring LESS THAN 2 FUCKING RUNS per game!!

Oh, and also, I ain’t mad at Asdrubal because he’s been a godsend, but if he doesn’t bobble that ball, we’re out of the 3rd inning unscathed. Instead, the wheels fell off because Harvey is lacking confidence (?) and couldn’t pick up his fielders. This was a game where the team needed to pick Harvey up and it just didn’t happen.

Even if Asdrubal makes that play, it was already 2-1 Nats and we didn’t score again. Soooooo, fuck it. We can’t hit for shit. That’s the issue right now. Harvey will work it out one start at a time. Run him out there. It’s a new season and he’s got arm fatigue, just like deGrom. They’re gonna have to deal with it. 6-man rotation when Wheeler gets back? Maybe put Verrett in there now?

Again, all of this is bullshit. It’s the hitting. End of story. We’re not scroing. You can’t win this way. It’s boring and painful, too. We look like the pre-Cespedes Mets of last year. By the way, last May 20th, we were 23-18. This year, we’re 22-18. Errrrr, yeah, Mets blow.

But this team is too good not to break out of this funk. Everyone has funky stretches. The cream rises to the top. No better time to break out of this bullshit than in Colorado. Wait, fuck. That happened already and we didn’t hit for shit. Wow, Mets blow, huh? Ummm…well…the Brewers are in town now. Sooooo, time to fucking hit, right? They’ve got just about the worst team ERA in the majors. You know who has worse? The Rockies! OOOOOOOOPS.

P.S. It was nice seeing Murph again. Murphyball will hurt the Nats somewhere down the road, but for the most part he’s a gem and is forever cemented in some amazin’ Mets lore. I don’t think the crowd will be giving Cap’n Kirk 3-dingers the same ovation this week, but let it be known that in classic METS disease fashion, Kirk, no longer in a Mets uniform, is having a solid season so far.

Thor is a God. Thor is a God. Thor is a God.

7 IP. 10 Ks. 0 BB. 0 R.

Chooooof. Fuck Scherzer. We came home, Grandy & Conforto hit solo dingers, and that’s all we needed.

1 down. Now Tolo (and both of his families) look to shut down the Nats again. We’re facing Gio. We’re fuuuuucked. We actually need Wright for this one, but his back is duuuuunzo.

Why does anyone give a shit about Tolo’s personal life? I guess he’s just so sexy that people have to know. Leave him and his bastards alone.

Deadpool: TDA never plays for the Mets again? Odds 2:1. He’s in Cali now with a personal trainer. He ain’t comin back. 

Mets Coming Home After Doodyball Road Trip

Swept by the Rockies, huh? Can’t hit at Coors? Terry with an awful hook? Umps with awful eyes? 

Now we come home. Be resilient. The Kershaw hangover took a whole weekend but now we finally get a day off and come home. We’ve been hitting at home. Hell, Yo popped one at Coors. So things are coming around. 

Show the Nationals who runs shit around here. 

I’m Not Blaming the Atrocious Call

TC got tossed after umpire Carlos Torres cheated.

Did Wolters foul tip that pitch? No. Were we cheated by umpire Carlos Torres and the rest of em? Absolutely. Does that matter? Yes, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

The Rockies got a massive break and replay is broken. Both of these are facts. Here’s another fact: we’re not hitting in Coors Field and that’s fucking pathetic. If you don’t score 8 runs per game here, don’t expect to win. Our bats are ice cold and that’s why we lost, end of story. 

Rocky Start

Why is everyone throwing all these lame ass excuses around? Oh, Harvey pitched like shit because it’s Colorado? Oooook, so why didn’t we hit, then? Kershaw hangover? 

Reality check: Harvey can’t get through five without being shelled. Some bad OF defense didn’t help his cause, but both teams played shitty OF-D (so many balls under gloves…was it the wind?) so it evened out. He got shelled, end of story.

Reality check: This lineup is in a slump a duuuump.

If we take the next two, it’s a successful road trip. But that’s a big if. Like I said at the outset, this was a ridiculous piece of our schedule. No days off and long flights and whatnot. But get tough, now. The Rockies aren’t good. Where are our bats? 

Against Kershaw, What Can Ya Do?

Mets put up a goose egg agsinst Kershaw.

3 hits, no runs, complete game…any other pitcher and I’d be barkin’ at the Mets but whatever. This one had the L penciled in as soon as the probable starters were announced. And that’s not a knock on Tolo.

Truth be told, I think you gotta sit Grandy and stick Conforto in right. Because come playoff time, or even stretch time, Conforto needs to be in this lineup every day. I know MadBum owned him and even maybe caused a slump but so what? If you’re obsessed with starting Juanny Beisbol against lefties, that’s fine and I’m not mad at it, but Yung Savior needs to be out there every day. 

We didn’t hit a home run last night (obviously), but now we head to Colorado. I’m very excited to see our bats do work out there. 

Thor, Gawd of Thunda!!

2 dingers! Thor had this to say: “Tonight was a direct result of Bartolo inspiring me to be a better man. #histrotwasbetter”

Gotta love the camaraderie and competition. Thor also let up 2 dingers but pitched a gem, otherwise. Very efficient but shitty hook Terry pulled him, anyway.

He was pulled after 8 for Fam in the 9th. That’s oooooookay, I guess. 

Other notes:

-Familia loves winning by 1 run. What’s up with that?

-Scrub ass Blanton has our number.

-AGon has the most stereotypical Carlos Mencia Mexican walk-up music.

-Campbell up with bases loaded?! We’re not a complete team end of story. 

Tonight: Colon v Kershaw! Ace v Ace! 

Meet the Fucking Matz

Other than the dinger to Klay Thompson’s brother, Matz was beautiful. He even got an RBI (our pitchers are finally getting in on the action). Matz is a lefty. Sky’s the limit for him. Horses, baby! Horses!

Terry made a bad move with two on and two out. He should’ve brought in Conforto to face the righty. He didn’t. Juan struck out on 3 pitches and then made an error in the field. You can’t predict the error (first time ever that I’ve seen Juanny Beisbol miss an easy one), but Conforto should’ve pinch hit. End of story. 

The ghost of Daniel Murphy was on the basepaths for us. Name the ridiculous ways to get thrown out at 2nd base. The Mets did almost all of them in one game. 

This time, Bastardo got bailed out by Henderson. Bastardo looked okay, I thought, but is wild and got squeezed. The officiating was horrendous in this game. Grandy got rung up on a 3-2 pitch a foot high and away. Is the umping always this bad and anti-Mets? I mean it’s not like the umps would cheat to help the Dodgers win by putting Utley on 2nd base or anything, right? Wait. 

Neil Walker has minor deadness but is supposedly back tonight.

TDA has major deadness and we may never see his light again. 

Happy Moms’ Day, You Bastard!


Wow, what a day for bastards. Jon Snow’s alive again and Bastardo’s saving the day for the Mets.

Will Reed and the rest of the Mook Mets ever learn what to do on 0-2 pitches?!

This road trip is insane. No days off?! Back to back 4 game serieses? Sheesh. 

We’re definitely not an A++ team. We don’t run well enough. We don’t manufacture runs. But with Cespedes cleaning up in our long, powerful lineup, elite pitching, and seemingly delightful team chemistry (they love competing with each other), we are indeed contenders. 1st place.