Matz out for season cuz we can’t ever have 1 good day. I laughed out loud when they said earlier in the week that he’d be back.
Can’t wait for Terry to run Fam out today in the 7th. Maybe he should just put a chainsaw to his arm. That’d be quicker.
Love Jose. Love Dru. Hate meaningful September. We’ve been bad all year and don’t really deserve this shot. But it sure is nice to see the boys fight. They want it, and that’s great. Just keep the bleach handy while you’re watching.
I was gonna write something big, but why bother? All I’ll say is that Yo is a hero and should be paid like one, Terry should be fired, the Wilpons should be fired out of a cannon, we were swept by the Braves twice at home this season, and the Mets blow. We don’t deserve anything good. It’s cool that the rest of the NL blows, and if we squeak in, great! But we don’t deserve shit.
P.S. Anthony Recker!
Hey, why not leave the lefty specialist in against the righty? It’s not like it’s September and we have extra arms in the pen! What could go wrong? Aaaand it’s gone. Only Girardi has a worse hook than you. At least you’re in the NL. He really has no excuse. I can’t believe how many people get paid maaaaad money to do a job worse than I could do it.
So Bruce can’t field now, huh? What a costly brain fart out there. The Garcia HR off of Blevins is really what blew it, so I blame Terry, but Bruce has one major case of METS disease. He got benched for Soupman for fucks sake!
Boy oh boy these are two bad teams. Once the Mets were down 2-1 off of Bruce’s brain fart and some BBs, I thought it was for sure over. We ain’t gettin’ more than 1 off of Teheran. But the Braves pinch hit for him (as they look to next season–a season in which they will compete and we better watch the fuck out) and tried to give us the game back. No thanks, we blow.
Our shittiness against the braves will probably just knock us out altogether, and it’s actually big for the “intradivision” tiebreaker, too. We will certainly lose that tiebreaker. Oops! Mets blow.
After strugg-a-ling so mightily against the lowly Twins, you knew we were bound to lose. Keith loves the spunky Braves. They’ve changed their identity after the ASB. We knew they’d try to go oppo against Thor. It was all so obvious.
We’re 9-8 against the Braves this season. Does that sound like a playoff team to you? Fucking mooks. Teheran looms large.
I went to Saturday’s game. Awful, awful game. But the Grandy fireworks were spectacular. Almost made up for the fact that they struggled so much against the doodoo Twins. I also didn’t get a deGrom hair hat but arrived in time to let everyone know that Jacob needs surgery. Great day for deGrom day!
But what was nice was that the Mets definitely parties their faces off after the extra innings win. Yo and Grandy were probably neck deep in “it.” Cespedes had to leave the day game with a massive hangover. That’s pretty funny. He’s fine. He’s fine. Don’t panic. Stop panicking!
Also Ynoa (sounds kinda like Noah) looked like Noah and Conforto looked like pre-Bumgarner Conforto. So there’s that. Good sweep, even though it was a struggle. Interleague is tough, I guess. Facing the unknown is tough. In September, you face guys hungry for jobs. But we took care of business (eventually) and now let’s do the same against Notlanta.
Mets win, hooray. Back to back jacks from Jose & Dru. An RBI single from the only guy on the team capable of doing that. Big Sexy was too sexy for ’em. Fam was shaky but kept the shutout in tact.
Did you hear the news? Wright is coming back. Duda is coming back. deGrom, Matz, Lagares…they’re all coming back!
Give me a fucking breeeeeeak in my vertebrae. Let’s rush em back and permanently damage them, yay! Fuckin morons. Maybe we’ll see a guy like deGrom come back from “soreness,” but it shouldn’t be Wright or Duda. That’s gonna hurt.
Do I think the Mets will mop up the slop for two weeks and make the playoffs? Yeah, I actually do. If they don’t, fuck em, and if they do, fuck em anyway because this season was a joke. But yeah, I think we’ll take care of the trash in the basement.
But what a flat, shitty series that was in Washington. You wanna beat the Nats? You gotta bean Murphy. You wanna beat the Nats? Get mean. Get tough. We really acted like they’re already division champs. It’s OUR title to defend, you fucks. Talk about scared. We sooooo crowned them. Getting shutout in the rubber game just shaking in our sliding pants. Gross. Pathetic.
Wake up, Mets. Start bullying these fuckboys around. They ain’t shit. Remember how you mowed them down? And the Cubs? You can’t play scared. You need the edge.
Thank you, T.J. “The Bronx Bomber” Rivera, but what kinda dogshit game was that? Thor did everything right other than he didn’t plunk Murph. You can’t get him a W? We’re just not very good. We shouldn’t be shitting our pants when we need to close out games. Remember who you are! They should be scared of US, not the other way around. Quit acting like pussies. Get mean.
Only Yo. The Mets are terrible. The Mets at Turner Field are even shittier than they are elsewhere. Tear down that fucker.
But Yo is different. Yo is the player we don’t deserve. Pay him a billion. Pray for Yoenis Cespedes.
Holy fuck Flores is SO MUCH SLOWER than me. Hey Terry, your bench is pretty deep these days. Pinch run, much? Also have Colon bunt you stupid fuck.
My feelings about Terry, Teufel, and Wilmer are nicely illustrated by a head-first, brain-traumatizing dive into A.J. “toughest catcher in the league” Pierzynski.
MetsBlow 