Did You Actually Think We’d Win Without Yo?

Thor and Yo puffin’ the devil’s lettuce
OK. I get it. 16 innings later, you wanna give Yo the day off. Fine. Stanton had the day off, too, but the Marlins have a much better–or at least more balanced–lineup. It would take at least 2 more boat crashes for them to have as shitty a team as we do.

Fortunately, we had Thor on the mound. Oops, his blister’s back. He’s dead. Nevermind. Why would the team doctors address that after it happened the first time? No waaaay it’ll happen again. Just put a bandaid on it. It’ll never happen again. Million to 1 shot. Probably never happen again. No way. It won’t cost us a win or anything. Totally probably doesn’t maybe it might happen again immediately.

But even if Thor stayed in, we didn’t hit for shiiiiiit. No Yo, no go. That’s all there is to it. 

P.S. Helluva throw by Conforto.

Mets Pay Yo. Praise Jesus

La Potencia!!! 4y/$110m. Totally fair for the hardest hitting player in the fucking league. And on this, the day wordpress is asking me to renew my account. Guess I gotta do it. Guess it’s thanks to me. Thanks to us, Metsblow nation. We prayed and we forced those Jews to cough up a little bit of Jew gold.

The Cubs are scared, and likely still drunk. Now we pray for good health and we’ve got a fucking shot. It’s actually a good time to be a Mets fan, and we all know Yo was the turning point. 

Mets still blow, and will find new ways to blow, but we blow a lot less today. 

Mets Win Hungover

That ain’t gatorade

I went to Saturday’s game. Awful, awful game. But the Grandy fireworks were spectacular. Almost made up for the fact that they struggled so much against the doodoo Twins. I also didn’t get a deGrom hair hat but arrived in time to let everyone know that Jacob needs surgery. Great day for deGrom day!

But what was nice was that the Mets definitely parties their faces off after the extra innings win. Yo and Grandy were probably neck deep in “it.” Cespedes had to leave the day game with a massive hangover. That’s pretty funny. He’s fine. He’s fine. Don’t panic. Stop panicking! 

Also Ynoa (sounds kinda like Noah) looked like Noah and Conforto looked like pre-Bumgarner Conforto. So there’s that. Good sweep, even though it was a struggle. Interleague is tough, I guess. Facing the unknown is tough. In September, you face guys hungry for jobs. But we took care of business (eventually) and now let’s do the same against Notlanta.

Who The Fuck Else?

Yo after his walkoff BOMB

I can’t believe it’s a “hot take” to scream and holler about paying Yo. Are you fucking kidding me, Jewpons? Do you not see Piazza jerseys everywhere? Do you not understand that competitive relevance and superstardom are your biggest moneymakers? Fuck you, you stupid Jews. Greedy Jews ain’t new but stupid Jews gives us a bad name you fucking retards.

Of course Yo did it. Who the fuck else would? Shoutout to Reyes for manufacturing the tying run in the 8th. Shoutout to Montero for returning from the dead and pitching 5 scoreless innings. In 2013, this guy had Harvey hype! And we haven’t even heard his name in over a year. Ahhh, Mets prospects. But hey, he came back from the dead. Impressive. Let’s see him do it again.