Duda? Obviously. TDA? Lock of the year. But Yo is hurt. Cover the field. Concede until he returns…if he returns. Oh and we lost the rubber game to the PHILLIES with Thor on the mound today. Unearned runs. Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Maybe we should move the fences in.
yo
Did You Actually Think We’d Win Without Yo?
Fortunately, we had Thor on the mound. Oops, his blister’s back. He’s dead. Nevermind. Why would the team doctors address that after it happened the first time? No waaaay it’ll happen again. Just put a bandaid on it. It’ll never happen again. Million to 1 shot. Probably never happen again. No way. It won’t cost us a win or anything. Totally probably doesn’t maybe it might happen again immediately.
But even if Thor stayed in, we didn’t hit for shiiiiiit. No Yo, no go. That’s all there is to it.
P.S. Helluva throw by Conforto.
Say Goodbye to Robles’ Arm
I guess it’s good that he died like a Viking, but he’s soooo dead. The Marlins are retaaaarded. All they had to do was not swing.
If we want to win games in 9 innings, Cespedes will have to hit three dingers.
I take full credit for motivating TDA through beratement.
Yo Mashed, Plawecki Died
The headline says it all. Yo looks stronger than ever! Aaaaand we have no catcher.
But really, who cares about Plawecki? He’s trash. TDA is also trash. It ain’t like Conforto (who just hit a dinger, btw). Conforto is still young young YOUNG, especially in terms of MLB XP. TDA not so much. He’s already an injury-plagued has-been.
Mets Pay Yo. Praise Jesus
La Potencia!!! 4y/$110m. Totally fair for the hardest hitting player in the fucking league. And on this, the day wordpress is asking me to renew my account. Guess I gotta do it. Guess it’s thanks to me. Thanks to us, Metsblow nation. We prayed and we forced those Jews to cough up a little bit of Jew gold.
The Cubs are scared, and likely still drunk. Now we pray for good health and we’ve got a fucking shot. It’s actually a good time to be a Mets fan, and we all know Yo was the turning point.
Mets still blow, and will find new ways to blow, but we blow a lot less today.
Pay Yo
We’re a contender with Cespedes. We’re a sub-.500 team without him. Do not let him flirt with free agency. Pay him and pray that our elite young arms stay healthy while the window is still open.
Mets Win Hungover
I went to Saturday’s game. Awful, awful game. But the Grandy fireworks were spectacular. Almost made up for the fact that they struggled so much against the doodoo Twins. I also didn’t get a deGrom hair hat but arrived in time to let everyone know that Jacob needs surgery. Great day for deGrom day!
But what was nice was that the Mets definitely parties their faces off after the extra innings win. Yo and Grandy were probably neck deep in “it.” Cespedes had to leave the day game with a massive hangover. That’s pretty funny. He’s fine. He’s fine. Don’t panic. Stop panicking!
Also Ynoa (sounds kinda like Noah) looked like Noah and Conforto looked like pre-Bumgarner Conforto. So there’s that. Good sweep, even though it was a struggle. Interleague is tough, I guess. Facing the unknown is tough. In September, you face guys hungry for jobs. But we took care of business (eventually) and now let’s do the same against Notlanta.
Who The Fuck Else?
I can’t believe it’s a “hot take” to scream and holler about paying Yo. Are you fucking kidding me, Jewpons? Do you not see Piazza jerseys everywhere? Do you not understand that competitive relevance and superstardom are your biggest moneymakers? Fuck you, you stupid Jews. Greedy Jews ain’t new but stupid Jews gives us a bad name you fucking retards.
Of course Yo did it. Who the fuck else would? Shoutout to Reyes for manufacturing the tying run in the 8th. Shoutout to Montero for returning from the dead and pitching 5 scoreless innings. In 2013, this guy had Harvey hype! And we haven’t even heard his name in over a year. Ahhh, Mets prospects. But hey, he came back from the dead. Impressive. Let’s see him do it again.
Duhhhh
Duhhhhh we fucking lost. Yo not in the lineup? Give me a fucking break, losers.
Mets Are Relaxed; Pay Yo!
Anyone else notice a sliiiight change in output since Yo returned to the lineup? He makes EVERYONE better, even the pitchers, because they’re all more relaxed. Yo is the epicenter and everything stems from him. Pay him. Fucking pay him.
Also the Phillies have HORRIBLE pitching.
Also Ruggiano is already dead and we should pray for deGrom.
MetsBlow 