Murph’s GS Was Soooo Scripted

Memba this guy? Memba the 2015 playoffs? I memba!

Lock of the century. Bases juiced. I wish I had an easily accessible bookie. I would’ve got the parlay, too, with the Zimmerman K preceding it. 

Walker also hit a dinger. And Murph made bad plays at 2nd. So pretty much par for the course. Without Yo, there’s no reason to watch. Conforto should start in center when Yo returns (pray). Bruce in RF. Oh wait, Duda is dead soooo I guess Bruce at 1st? Conforto at 1st? One of em in RF and one of em at 1st? It doesn’t matter because the Mets blow? 

How to Beat the Nats

Do I think the Mets will mop up the slop for two weeks and make the playoffs? Yeah, I actually do. If they don’t, fuck em, and if they do, fuck em anyway because this season was a joke. But yeah, I think we’ll take care of the trash in the basement.

But what a flat, shitty series that was in Washington. You wanna beat the Nats? You gotta bean Murphy. You wanna beat the Nats? Get mean. Get tough. We really acted like they’re already division champs. It’s OUR title to defend, you fucks. Talk about scared. We sooooo crowned them. Getting shutout in the rubber game just shaking in our sliding pants. Gross. Pathetic. 

Wake up, Mets. Start bullying these fuckboys around. They ain’t shit. Remember how you mowed them down? And the Cubs? You can’t play scared. You need the edge. 

News About Murph’s Injury?

Daniel Murphy is fine! They said.

Daniel Murphy is day to day! They said.

Daniel Murphy will be back tomorrow! They said.

And now? Nothing. No reports. No updates. Nothing.

I mentioned that I appreciated Alderson’s transparency regarding Jew money ticket sales. Well, how bout for once in the history of the fucking Mets, we get some fucking transparency regarding injuries?

The silence all but guarantees he’s headed to the DL.

Jose Reyes will be back tomorrow. Murph? Soon enough, we can only hope.