The Mets can clinch the Contender v Pretender Series tonight. Excellent. deGrom on the hill. Excellent. Lead by The Dude, The Mets have hit the ball (this week) and scored runs (against shitty pitching). Excellent.
Most excellent of all, like Malibu Stacy before him, Alex Torres has a new hat! Bighat is back! And his hat is more ridiculous than ever. Sick hat.
Mets 4. Fins 1.
In the preblow I said that Colon would punch his ticket to the hall of fame 1 RBI at a time. He reads Metsblow. He got one today, to tie the game at 1 and to back his absolutely brilliant pitching performance. Like Gee, he made a mistake to Stanton. But make no mistake, Big Sexy was BRILLIANT tonight. He’s now 3-0, and the Mets improve to 5-0 at Shittifield, a place where we have perennially sucked donkey balls.
Another hold for Blevins. Another save for Familia. La dee da. Juan Lagares made some gold glove plays. La la la. Another come-from-behind win. Tee hee hee just another day at the office.
Damn we look good. It’s gonna be tough for the Jewpons to screw this pitching up!
Congrats to Money Muno $_$ on your first major league hit!
P.S. I was watching the game with girls (yuck) and they were all jealous of how tan Terry Collins is.
Montero got sent down, but he’s coming back in ten days and the Mets are going 6-man-carousel-of-carnage.
I love the move. I think our staff is swinging huge dick. We’re saying that some teams have 2 or 3 viable starters and we have 6. They can all do it, so let’s do it.
Also, protect Harvey and deGrom’s arms. And keep them hungry. Let Harvey get angry and drooly in his cage and unleash him every 6th day with even more to prove.
P.S. Anyone saying a 5-man rotation is “correct” is retarded. There’s no rule saying that. And even if there was, rules are meant to be broken. “Conventional Wisdom” used to say that you couldn’t eat pig. Well, the Mets are going bacon on this bitch.
P.P.S. It might be a 5.5 man rotation because Terry sometimes gets cute.
Mets 7, Fins 5
Such a scrappy, gutsy win. And the Mets have sole possession of 1st place to show for it. Multiple comes-from-behind (the ladies love it), and multiple groans from Keith (the ladies love it) about the game taking too long.
Other than Gee’s idiotic decision to throw Stanton a 3-2 strike with 1st base open in the 1st inning, he pitched well. It’s amazing how good our 5th starter is. He’s supposed to be a smart pitcher (he doesn’t have the best stuff so he relies on his intellect) and that was a DUMB pitch, but otherwise he looked good. One of his runs was inherited on Montero’s bases loaded walk (another dumb pitch).
It was a day where Reyes got hurt (with a lingering case of the METS) and Flores hit a 3-run dinger. Sandy Alderson, you baseball maverick!!
Notes on game-length and the 6 minute instant replay review: First of all, what an incredible move by Ichiro. Wow, is he INCREDIBLE or what? 1st ballot hall-of-famer with anything less than 90% of the votes would be a travesty. Before he became a Yankee, I lived in Tokyo while the WBC was going on. I seriously considered getting his jersey, but I didn’t have the Yen. I’m glad I didn’t, because fuck the Yankees. My Beltran jersey has been shelved, though I’m happy I have one, but anyway I digress…getting the calls right is what matters.
Keith is hilarious. Imagine being at your 9-5 day job (poor you), and at 2:30 knocking on your boss’s door and saying, “uuugggghhh is it 5 yet!?” Now imagine doing that every day. That’s what Keith does. And it’s ballin. Truly ballin. Here’s the thing, though: Keith is IN FAVOR of getting the calls right. We all are. It’s just about getting the call right quickly. What needs to be done is the complete removal of all human officiating. The Age of Robots is at hand. Just have robots do it all instantaneously. The end. It’s soooooo simple, but the god damn unions and old fogies are resisting our robotic umpire overlords.
If I was King of Sports (or King of the World), world peace and not letting the Yankees win because of Jeff Maier are priorities #1 and #1A.
P.S. Money Muno called up from Vegas! $_$
This is the biggest series of the season so far. Phils are dog doo. We have to win against “competing” teams without Wright. We have to beat up on the Marlins and show that our pitching is elite against Team Super Pretendo.
Our division can produce a Wildcard birth (PLAYOFFS!?!?!) because of how shitty it is. The Nats have produced some pretty impressive regular season records because of our division’s futility over the past few years.
We need to bully the Fins, especially without Fernandez. It’s the Pretender v Contender series, I’m just not 100% sure which team is which yet.
Tonight, we have our “worst” pitcher in Gee going against Cosart, arguably their best. The Mets can’t hit good pitching, so Gee is going to have to step up 2 the streets.
Sweep! Mets win! 6-1.
Niese looks real good. He scattered hits. He also had an RBI.
Our pitching is really good. We’re so deep. We lost Wheeler, Mejia, Parnell, Black, and Edgin. We’re still one of the NL’s best.
However, our hitting is BAD, and even worse without David. The Phillies pen–and some of their starters–are baaaaaad. We put up 6 today, and 6 yesterday, mostly because their pitching is dog doo.
The Mets need to beat them into the ground all year. Now here comes the Marlins for 4 games. Gee, Colon, deGrom, Harvey. Big. We can’t ever win at Turner Field (tear it down already!), but if we can be even against the Nats (2 outta 3 so far!), even against the good-pitching Braves, and dominate the Phils, then it all comes down to the Fins. If we play them 18 times and go 12-6 against em, we’re looking at the playoffs. PLAYOFFS?! Hey, the NL blows!
Holy shit does tonight’s lineup show how fucking Jewish the Wilpons are or what!?
Look how bad we are! This lineup couldn’t score with a drunk slut on prom night. Flores is hurt, so in comes Tejada. Wright is dead, so we’ve got Soupman batting 6th! Look at this fucking terrible lineup! We’re sooooo bad. It’s only Tax Day, and we’ve already lost Wright, Wheeler, Edgin, Mejia, Black, and Parnell. Flores stayed in yesterday’s game after being hit and now he’s dead. Cuddy is only playing today because we literally have NOBODY else. We have the depth of a Polish submarine built with screen doors*. I don’t think I can watch. The Wilpons refuse to pay to get talent on this team, so why should we pay their Jew asses? Boycott! It’s a walkout!
*Edit: Would that actually make the sub go really deep?
A few days ago, I posted about the culture change and how Matt Harvey needed to lead us there by throwing high & tight.
Well, thankfully, he reads Metsblow. Just look at that photo! He, as retaliation for two of our guys getting plunked, nailed Utley and then stared him the FUCK down, chaw-lip and all.
Thank you, Dark Knight. Thank you for being a winner.
P.S. Since he’s such a winner, he’ll be in pinstripes in 3 years 😥
Welp, we’re out. Wright said he felt a pop. 15-day DL? More like out forever.
We have absolutely no depth. We’re bringing up Eric “Soupman” Campbell from AAA Vegas. We’re so bad we don’t even have a major league replacement for David. That’s ok, Soupman is hitting .550! Too bad that’s not as high as the .600 he was hitting at the roulette wheel.
The Metsblog hot take from Andrew “Vaggino” Vazzano said something like, “I hope Wright is healthy when he returns.” Wow, scorching hot take from Metsblog as usual. Keep hoping, Vag. Healthy Mets = AAA Mets. Talented Mets = dead.
Final Score: Mets 6, Phillies 5
On #HarveyDay–the first home HarveyDay in well over a year–Harvey was hardly the main attraction. He pitched a quality start and got the W. He made mistakes and good hitters (Utley) made him pay.
The big story (there were many, actually) is that David Wright is out. Yesterday, during the Hopener, before the game started, the whole organization was introduced and Mets trainer Ray Ramirez was booed mightily (almost as much as the Jewpons). I loved it. But today, Wright is to blame. He stole second during the bottom of the 8th for no reason, like an asshole. He slid like an asshole. Captain America: you are not Superman! You are my boy but holy shit that was boneheaded. Wright will likely be placed on the 15-day DL (re: he’s dead).
Also, as I said in the Liveblow (see previous article), Cuddy and Flores both got hit in the hand on shitty pitches (Harvey retaliated by hitting Utley wooot culture change!) and may both be out (re: dead). So on a day where we had our best pitcher and perhaps the best pitcher in the league on the hill, against perhaps the worst team, we manage to win by one run in the most pyrrhic way imaginable. We lost our captain and our best offseason acquisition. Eric “Soupman” Campbell is on his way to Queens.
As Rosie Perez says in White Men Can’t Jump, “sometimes when you win, you really lose, papi. And sometimes when you lose, you really win, papi.”
P.S. Fences in! Fences in! Murph with a dinger. And the Phillies had a shitload of dingers. Utley had two. I love how we complain that Citizens Bank is a bandbox and then the Phils come to Shitti and just mash dingers anyway.
P.P.S. Bean balls! Faux-Challenges! Ejections, oh my! This game was a bureaucratic travesty. As I said above, #HarveyDay was really #ShittyUmpireDay and man did they hear it from every side. The fans, both teams, and the booth. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ronnie get so hot. That one ridiculous delay really hurt Harvey up there. Ron was furious. The league has somehow implemented new rules that mandate faster games while making all the games slower. I haven’t seen this kind of hypocrisy in a book since the Bible. Get with the fucking robot umps, already!
MetsBlow 