That Game Was Rigged…and it’s OK

Mets & Marlins players hug before the game…and it wasn’t sarcastaball

“I don’t care who you are, who you root for or how badly you want the Mets to be in the postseason, that was phenomenal,” said Gary Cohen after Dee Gordon launched an upper deck blast to start the bottom of the 1st.

So the Marlins had to win that game. It was rigged by the umps, the Gods, and even the Mets themselves, I suppose. Keith mentioned that there was no way the Mets would muster the usual competitive grit required of a baseball team and I agree. Rigging aside, we were outplayed. We had opportunities and squandered them. The Marlins really, REALLY wanted the W and they got it. 

Well done, everyone. It was heavy as fuck. It was extraordinarily sad and I respect everything that was done. 

Now Thor takes the hill. Now it’s back to baseball. It’s a good thing the Cards and Giants both blow. Let’s make the fucking playoffs. 

How Much Do The Mets Actually Blow?

We’re about to find out. I was actually putting on my baseball gear when I heard the Jose Fernandez news yesterday. I was shocked and saddened. I was very upset that guys like Yo and Keith were so sad, too. It is a tragedy. That’s all I have to say about that.

The Mets won 17-0 yesterday. We all know what happened. The Mets are in complete control of their playoff chances and are now going up against what is arguably the most beleaguered team in the history of Major League Baseball. 

The good news is that they’ll probably make the playoffs and as miserable Mets fans, we sort of have to consider that a success. Also, if the Mets blow it, Terry will probably be fired. The bad news: I won’t be hired. It’ll just be another scapegoat. Fuck the Wilpons. We’ll never be the franchise we want to be with them at the helm. 

EDIT: I am aware that the Jose Fernandez tragedy is bigger than baseball, but this is a METS blog about how the METS blow. And the Marlins playing spoiler and shitting all over us at the end of the season is a tradition. It shouldn’t happen this time around. But it probably will. The whole world is rooting for Miami right now. Mets blow. 

Matz Shellacked


So when did y’all turn off the game? After the ump squeezed the shit out of Matz? After Dee Gordon’s infield single? After Stanton’s monster blast?

And I thought yesterday’s game was bad. Remember when TC talked about how everyone was going to bring their A-game against us now? Remember that? Ummmmm…yeah. Especially in the division. WAKE THE FUCK UP. I’m not even putting this one on Matz. We’re not hitting. We’re the worst hitting team in the league (AGAIN), somehow.

Look, this roster is the same as it was a week ago (other than deGrom being deAd). The staff is super studly and super deep. The lineup is strong. For fucks sake, D-Wright is the only one producing. He’s gonna die soon, so these guys need to step up. Get tough. Y’all looked good in KC. Wake up. Win a home series against a shitty team in your division, derrrrr.

P.S. Shock of the century: Soup struck out today. Niiiice. And his bat went flying into the crowd. Can’t wait till he’s playing 3rd base every day.

P.P.S. deGrom left the team to get an MRI witness the birth of his child. Just DL him! Lats ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Oh man, fucking pray for him. Name the kid Yoenis.


Mets 12, Marlins 1

Big Sexy threw 8 great innings and got a hit tonight. Conforto got his 1st dinger. Cespedes hit 3 doubles (Marlins Park is huuuuuge…those balls are gone at 2015 Shitti). Grandy did his part as usual.

And the Nats lost! At home! To the D-Backs! They’re crashing hard. The Crashonals. Jesus. Pray for this Mets team to stay healthy. 1st place. Holy balls. d’Arnaud healthy? Oh God. PRAY FOR THEM. PRAAAAAY. Stay hot. Stay focused. Stay healthy.

Preblow: Rubber Game in Miami

Hey Montero, good game! As a reward, we’re sending you to fabulous Las Vegas!

Lefty Jack “Leatherface” Leathersich has been promoted to the team. He’s striking out everybody in the minors. We’ll see how that translates. When asked to comment, Terry Collins said, “If anyone should be called leatherface, it’s me. Look how tan I am!”

Big Sexy takes the hill tonight. He’s going for 5-0 in his first 5 starts. Wouldn’t that be something?

This is the rubber game of the series, and would also serve to salvage the road trip at .500, which is what playing on the road is all about. We’ve been roughly .500 on the road for years, while failing miserably at home. With the Mets celebrating their victories in April, I’m sure the other shoe will drop at Shittifield, but for now, and in general, it’s about winning at home and staying .500 on the road.

Preblow: Mets Trying to Make Montero Look Like Shit With This Lineup

From Ninja Turtle to Mets pitcher...
From Ninja Turtle to Mets pitcher…

Rafael Montero–yes, I know it’s a different spelling than the ninja turtle–will be making a “spot” (re: audition) start for the Mets today and WHOA holy shit look at that lineup!

Are we completely phoning this one in? Tejada at SS, Recker at C, Kirk out in LF, and Campbell batting cleanup? Give Montero a freakin’ chance, at least!

For sucks sake, it’s time to promote Reynolds and Herrera. We can’t have lineups like this. We just can’t.

The Marlins starter, David Phelps, is only in because of Henderson Alvarez’s injury, so perhaps our quadruple-A lineup can do something against this quadruple-A pitcher.

Preblow: Mets Take Their Talents to South Beach

mets at marlins

Tonight, tomorrow, and the next day, all at 7:10pm, the Mets are playing in Miami. The Mets are coming off the sloppiest game I’ve ever seen, but they are still in 1st place and in control (sort of). The Mets may also be jet-lagged, as they did not arrive in Miami until 6am this morning. Meanwhile, Keith “I Don’t Do Winter” Hernandez took an earlier flight and has been soaking in the sun with a piña colada in one hand and…well…probably a piña colada in the other hand, too.

Keys to the Series:

~Montero, making a “spot” start that the team swears isn’t an audition to take Gee’s place, needs to pitch well. This is technically our #6, or #7 if you count Wheeler, or #9 if you count Wheeler, Thor, and Matz. Let’s see what the kid can do. This is what our team is all about.

~Pretenders vs. Contenders once again. We have to stomp on our DREADFUL division opponents. The Marlins think they’re hot because they just stomped on the Phillies, and that’s fine. We were hot when we stomped on the Phillies, Marlins, and Braves.

~Shitty, shitty baseball cannot be tolerated. The Marlins are winning because they’ve been playing virtually error free for a week. Last night, we were completely bush league on the national stage. Mental mistakes and dogshit fielding cost us the game and the series against the NY-AL team. Now, we can crawl back to our cozy SNY 7:10p time slot and quietly go about our business.

P.S. I don’t hate John Kruk. He was a Philly, so there’s some bitterness there, but really, the dude knows how to hit and isn’t a bad color man. But I absolutely can’t STAND other broadcasters. Curt “I Didn’t Come From No Monkey” Schilling is awful. ESPN is awful and they really drag the games out. Let’s say the Mets make the playoffs (PLAYOFFS!?!?). Is there some way our guys can still cover the games? I know Ron Darling does TBS games but that’s not enough. Gary, Keith, and Ron 4eva eva.

Preblow: Mets vs. Marlins is Contender vs. Pretender Series

Skeeter is Marlins-colored.
Skeeter is Marlins-colored.

This is the biggest series of the season so far. Phils are dog doo. We have to win against “competing” teams without Wright. We have to beat up on the Marlins and show that our pitching is elite against Team Super Pretendo.

Our division can produce a Wildcard birth (PLAYOFFS!?!?!) because of how shitty it is. The Nats have produced some pretty impressive regular season records because of our division’s futility over the past few years.

We need to bully the Fins, especially without Fernandez. It’s the Pretender v Contender series, I’m just not 100% sure which team is which yet.

Tonight, we have our “worst” pitcher in Gee going against Cosart, arguably their best. The Mets can’t hit good pitching, so Gee is going to have to step up 2 the streets.