The Mets Didn’t Trade Harvey for Arenado


So obviously the ship has been completely straightened out after beating the worst team in the majors by 1 run last night and hitting a few dingdongs in the smallest park outside of baby bitch Yankee Stadium. But still, we need to address this past weekend:

Nolan Arenado and the Rockies swept the Mets in Queens (after the Mets had already lost about fifty in a row). Arenado hit about 8 home runs and made slick play after slick play. He was the star of the weekend while Matt Harvey got DFA’d. For those unfamiliar with the term, DFA stands for “Designated For Assignment” which is a nice way of saying that he got cut. DFA also stands for Double Fucked Anally, which is also apt. DFA aaalllso stands for Dairy Farmers of America, which wouldn’t normally be relevant except for the fact that Cespedes has a farm because he’s a boss like that.

Somewhere around 3~4 years ago, when #HarveyDay was reminding people of Doc Gooden, Nolan Arenado was being shopped around by the Rockies. Would a direct 1-for-1 trade have happened? Probably. Would a package deal involving Harvey and a couple of scrubs like D’Arnaud have happened? Definitely. I remember being bombarded by hopeful Mets fans (sad) after I said we should trade him. “BUT WAIT! Harvey is the CHOSEN ONE! Can’t do it!” What team do you even root for? Even the Mets’ brass themselves mentioned that there was no need for a 3rd baseman. Ah, of course! We have David Wright! 3rd base is FULL!!! Cut to 2018, Arenado has led the majors in awesomeness for the past 3 years (check the stats…he’s got more ribeyes than anyone, and that’s just the start of it) while Harvey has been cut (still reminding us of Doc Gooden!), Wright has been dead forever, and the rest of us have all been DFA’d over and over again. Meet the Mets! Greet the Mets! One helluva history of could’ve-beens with guys named Nolan.

P.S. The Mets are fully to blame for all of this. Doc Gooden–at 19 years old–was given the keys to the fucking NYC castle. What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Then the Jew media spun things to make it look like Doc was some asshole who hurt his teammates and hurt himself. This city swallows people up! Fast forward to now, and it’s the same fucking thing. Maybe take some fucking accountability for your stud young players. They’re kids blowing the fuck up waaay too quickly in the fastest city in the world. It’s not on them. Help them grow one time for me. See the pattern. Or better yet, trade them.

P.P.S. If we’re really gonna come full circle with the Doc Gooden analogy, get ready for Harvey to throw a no-hitter in pinstripes next year. Sad for my team and me.

Ray Ramirez Will Haunt Us For-Eh-Vurr

“Oh, you’re fine.” -Ramirez to Wright in 2010.

Ramirez fired. What does it mean? Nothing. Stop celebrating. It’s too late. We’re already dead. You think this means Harvey and Matz are coming back? You think this means Wright is coming back? Yo? Conforto?! It’s all over. METS-AIDS comes from the Jewpons. All that’s left to do is pray that the Yankees lose. That’s a successful season for any intelligent Mets fan.

P.S. Now that he’s been fired, will he release the incriminating photos that he’s been using to blackmail the Jewpons for the past decade? Smart money is on a pic of Fred wearing a Hitler costume. Many also betting on Jeff and Fred involved in some kind of Carcosa/True Detective-type ritualistic rape/sacrifice of a 9-year-old.

What is Metsie Baseball?

I’m watching the game and I’m thinking, “AAAAAnd we’re back to Mets baseball.” 2nd inning Nimmo overthrow. Call overturned correctly then Harvey pitching to 8 hitter so fucking greedy already down a run and with 1st base open…CRACK! Yo made a sweet bare hand play off the wall that meant nothing but was cool. Aaaaand Harvey let up a hit to the pitcher anyway.

So the OF got exposed early. Yo diiiid win a gold glove in LF and Nimmo is supposedly a CF. Grandy has no arm in RF. Back to Metsie baseball! Bad gameplan from the start! Collins is too busy with the ASG roster, I guess.

Nobody tried to calm Harvey down or talk to him after a long delay. Where’s TDA? Warthen? Collins? I think Rivera should be catching Harvey. He helps pitchers. Though TDA hit a dinger. Rivera hit a dinger on Sunday but it was wind-assisted big time.

4th inning: Bahahaha Harvey spikes an easy double play into the ground. Mets baseball!
But how quickly we forget: Jesus is back. Yoenis is back. Our bullpen is solid and the Fins suck. Everybody did a little something something and Yo delivered the capper. We’re so fucking hot right now. Carry it as long as you can.

*If we played this game right, it could’ve been an 8-1 laugher. But where’s the drama in that?? Metsie baseball!

**Also, tonight marks Reyes’ return to the team. Does anyone epitomize Metsie baseball better than him? A shitload of talent with no rings to show for it. Always injured. Unsteady relationships with fans, ownership, etc. Released when he could’ve been traded for valuable pieces. He is every Met player in a nutshell. And his wife with tears streaming down her beaten face is us, the fans.

Why is Matt Harvey Getting Blamed?

Harvey dunzo.

Yeah, Harvey stinks. We get it. He emptied the tank last November. His bladder’s got a blood clot. His head’s not in the right place. We get it. We get it. Remember Strasburg had a few shitty years, too, before becoming the elite pitcher he is right now. Ebb and flow and all that bullshit.

But more importantly, Harvey is only out there for one out of five or so games. WHAAAAT THE FUUUUCCK happened to the hitting? We are scoring LESS THAN 2 FUCKING RUNS per game!!

Oh, and also, I ain’t mad at Asdrubal because he’s been a godsend, but if he doesn’t bobble that ball, we’re out of the 3rd inning unscathed. Instead, the wheels fell off because Harvey is lacking confidence (?) and couldn’t pick up his fielders. This was a game where the team needed to pick Harvey up and it just didn’t happen.

Even if Asdrubal makes that play, it was already 2-1 Nats and we didn’t score again. Soooooo, fuck it. We can’t hit for shit. That’s the issue right now. Harvey will work it out one start at a time. Run him out there. It’s a new season and he’s got arm fatigue, just like deGrom. They’re gonna have to deal with it. 6-man rotation when Wheeler gets back? Maybe put Verrett in there now?

Again, all of this is bullshit. It’s the hitting. End of story. We’re not scroing. You can’t win this way. It’s boring and painful, too. We look like the pre-Cespedes Mets of last year. By the way, last May 20th, we were 23-18. This year, we’re 22-18. Errrrr, yeah, Mets blow.

But this team is too good not to break out of this funk. Everyone has funky stretches. The cream rises to the top. No better time to break out of this bullshit than in Colorado. Wait, fuck. That happened already and we didn’t hit for shit. Wow, Mets blow, huh? Ummm…well…the Brewers are in town now. Sooooo, time to fucking hit, right? They’ve got just about the worst team ERA in the majors. You know who has worse? The Rockies! OOOOOOOOPS.

P.S. It was nice seeing Murph again. Murphyball will hurt the Nats somewhere down the road, but for the most part he’s a gem and is forever cemented in some amazin’ Mets lore. I don’t think the crowd will be giving Cap’n Kirk 3-dingers the same ovation this week, but let it be known that in classic METS disease fashion, Kirk, no longer in a Mets uniform, is having a solid season so far.

Happy #HarveyDay?

Blowing a lead? That makes me a saaaaaad Batman.

Yup, this one’s all on our Dark Knight. I know our lead was slim, but we gave Harvey a lead and it’s his job to hold it. That perfect game bid went really fucking sour really fucking quickly. Harvey’s 0-3 and this one’s on him.

Montero didn’t do him any favors, basically letting the game slip away with his awful appearance.

Grandy went yard (to lead off the game). So did Yo and Walker. That’s good stuff. The bats are warming up. However, despite the long balls, we’re not hitting. I know chicks dig the long ball, but you’ve gotta get runners in when they’re in scoring position. We’re not. At all.

TDA got HBP and is now DED. He says that it’s fine. Great. Cya in 3 months.

Thoughts and prayers are with the deGrom family, of course. deGrom’s absence made some room for Soup to rejoin the roster, just to add insult to injury.

We really needed that game. Now we face Kluber in the rubber game. We’ll see how Matz does coming off his worst start ever (in his short career). He’s on regular rest, and many claimed his extended rest was the reason for his struggles last outing. Collins gave too much rest to some and too little rest to others? WHAAAA??

Mets Sign Blevins; Terry Talks Cespedes


1 year. 4mil. Great deal. Contract year for a stud lefty specialist with glass bones. The first fistfight in Punch-Out.

Still need Tolo. Still need Clip. Bastardo, mayhaps? BASTARDO!! The star of Spanish Game of Thrones.

Today, when asked about Cespedes, Terry said, “I know they are working to find some backup pieces that will help us out.” Choooo. Big dick swing from Terry. He might as well have called them jewfags. Publicly stating that the Mets front office is only going to get backups is calling them the fuck out. Of course we’re all going to crazy hearing that. That means they’re not even going to get Span or Parra! That’s insane! OUT OF CONTROL!

For the past 7 years, they’ve been saying we needed to be patient for NOW. And you know what? They were absolutely right. The young studs are elite. You have to move all-in now. You promised. And you were right. Fulfill the prophecy.

I think deGrom’s words on Cespedes were BIG. If Harvey said it, it’d be front page news. Let that be a lesson in how the media protrays someone. Don’t get me wrong, deGrom is very much the antithesis of Harvey in a lot of ways, like Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker, or Fire & Ice. That makes deGrom being the guy to speak up about Cespedes even more meaningful. I hope Harvey calls Sandy a fagoat.

Members of the Metsblow war room are claiming they will walkout if our demands aren’t met and I’m inclined to agree. Here is the list:

~Fill the remaining 4 roster spots (SP, RP, CF, backup 1B/OF) with real major leaguers

~One of the two pitching spots should be for Tolo.

~They may not put Flores as the backup 1B. Must replace Cuddy

~Get Cespedes. If you’re really, actually NOT going to sign Cespedes…if that’s a fucking THING, even after he proved to be the impact bat we’ve been dying for, even after he was the enzyme catalyst impetus spark synergist reactant kaboom bang bullshit intangible sports word that you wanna use X-FACTOR, even after what deGrom said, even after he put the whole city on his back, then you better fucking do something else that shows you believe in this team. The young guns will be fucking pissed. Look what the Giants do for Posey. Look what the Cubs are doing for Bryant. Bryant is going to be a lot easier to sign when he sees how much his GM cares.


Should Harvey Pitch Today?

Mets 12, Reds 5

Duda 2 dingers blah blah. Thor great start yada yada.

Let’s get down to business here: The magic number is 1 (Nattitude!). Harvey is on the mound today. Should he be pitching? Of course he should be. We can finish it today and that’s exactly what we should do. Finish it. Don’t let anything crazy happen. Don’t let it go to Philly where hey who knows maybe just maybe but no way but maybe the Phillies are game to spoil our party. Maybe just maybe but no way the Nats step up and start winning but yeah no way.

So, mainly thanks to Nattitude, this hasn’t really been a pennant race. Even so, the people saying we should rest Harvey are retarded. It ain’t over till it’s over. Of course you put Harvey out there today. Close it out today and then you can officially rest everyone for 2 weeks and that should be plenty. Close it out today and we can watch Recker and EY and Soup in the starting lineup for the last games of the season and have a good laugh about it.

Everyone get the fuck off of Harvey’s back. He’s coming off of MAJOR SURGERY. No shit he’s confused. No shit everyone’s confused. The dude is a young beast in the limelight. Give him a fucking break. Across town, they’re lovingly embracing A-Roid as a hero for getting them to the postseason. The Yankee fans may be dumb assholes, but they cheer for winners. Harvey has been a big part of our first winning season in a long time. He’s been a big part of the culture change here. For fucks sake, cut the kid a break. Metsblow Nation knows that all these bullshit problems and media spins are a result of the Jewpons fucking things up and then manipulating the media to point the finger at the players. Don’t be fooled.

Happy #HarveyDay

This picture would be perfect if there was rain.
This picture would be perfect if there was rain.

Harvey vs Gio tonight. We’re 3 games back. We can be tied for the division lead by the end of Sunday. HA! Haha haw haw haw haw.

The Mets are “talking with the Reds about Jay Bruce.” They’re mainly talking about how Bruce has hip issues. Also, the Mets want a reliever thrown in. Someone like Aroldis Chapman. No, wait, not Chapman. He has shoulder problems. His velocity is down to 103.

Happy #HarveyDay everyone!

Post/Preblow: Harvey Dinger

Mets 4, DBacks 2

Well, naturally the Mets couldn’t generate any offense for Harvey. Fucking awful. But Harvey took matters into his own hands, hitting a game winning home run (that was reviewed and upheld).

I can’t give too much credit to Harvey. Something must be in the winds, because Tejada also had a home run. And Cuddyer had one yesterday. The Mets are homer happy!

I peeped the Angels/Mariners game last night. Mike Trout has more homers than the entire Mets team combined…and he’s not even leading the Angels.

In all seriousness, Harvey had an up and down 1st half, but coming off of TJ, he’s been stellar. Smoltz expects him to be “all the way back” by 2016, and that’s when we expect the Mets to compete anyway. We expect the Mets to make big moves this offseason, right? RIIIIIGHT?

Familia got the save. Kaboom.

PREBLOW: Jon Niese and the Mets go for the sweep today. It’d be nice to uplift the spirits before the all-star game. It’s important to inflate the balloon before mercilessly popping it.

Postblow: Harvey Sends Message to the Nonbelievers

You have to make the climb without the rope.
You have to make the climb without the rope.

Mets 3, Blue Jays 2

Just when the nonbelievers were saying Harvey was “overrated,” he goes out and rocks Shittifield. 7 innings, 0 runs, 0 walks, 6 Ks, only 4 H, and perhaps most telling he had four 1-2-3 innings. He was pumped as fuck, with his energy infecting the team and the fans. The ACE. I love him. He had an RBI double, too. Also, the Blue Jays had come into this series scoring 8 runs/game over their 11 game winning streak. Thor stopped the streak, and Harvey buried ’em. 2-game sweep.

As of now, the Metsblow war room consists of two people, other than myself. To my war room guy in the Bahamas: if the Mets keep playing like this, I don’t think you should come back. Don’t fuck with the chi.

Everything’s really going our way. Greasy Ceciliani and Ruben Sangwich both look good. They’re SIGNIFICANTLY better than Kirk and Soup. That’s big. With Murphy coming back on Saturday (I’ll believe it when I see it), we might actually have a bench. Key word: MIGHT.

Sidenote: We resigned Kirk. HA. HA. HA. Ow, my sides. I’m holding my sides because that’s such a funny joke.

Complaint Department: We almost lost. We didn’t get any insurance runs (3 run limit, boys!) and our pen is shakier by the day. We’re garbage dogshit. But we won. But we’re in 1st place. So how does the front office feel? “Since we’re already in 1st, we see no reason to make a move.” -Sandy

Also, I’m not sure why the “complaint department” is a section of this page. The entire website is one giant complaint department. That’s another complaint. Be less organized.

Bobby Parnell could help us. Although his velocity is way down and he’s really laboring up there. He got a big FAT K on a big fat breaking ball when he really needed it. That was good. I don’t understand how his ‘bow is worse than Tanaka’s right now. I guess I understand it because life is rigged and Parnell has METS disease and Tanaka has YANKEES magic voodoo. Mejia’s return will help us, as well.

d’Arnaud has a hit in every game since his return. Recker has 2 hits on the season. This is a big change and a big reason why we’re competing again. 2-game sweep completed. Now we go to Toronto for 2 more.