
Holy shit does tonight’s lineup show how fucking Jewish the Wilpons are or what!?
- Curtis Granderson – RF
- Travis d’Arnaud – C
- Lucas Duda – 1B
- Michael Cuddyer – LF
- Daniel Murphy – 2B
- Eric Campbell – 3B
- Juan Lagares – CF
- Ruben Tejada – SS
- Jon Niese – LHP
Look how bad we are! This lineup couldn’t score with a drunk slut on prom night. Flores is hurt, so in comes Tejada. Wright is dead, so we’ve got Soupman batting 6th! Look at this fucking terrible lineup! We’re sooooo bad. It’s only Tax Day, and we’ve already lost Wright, Wheeler, Edgin, Mejia, Black, and Parnell. Flores stayed in yesterday’s game after being hit and now he’s dead. Cuddy is only playing today because we literally have NOBODY else. We have the depth of a Polish submarine built with screen doors*. I don’t think I can watch. The Wilpons refuse to pay to get talent on this team, so why should we pay their Jew asses? Boycott! It’s a walkout!
*Edit: Would that actually make the sub go really deep?