Joseeee, Jose Jose Joseee!

How do you say, “keep your mouth shut, bitch” in Spanish?
Hey Jose, do you think you can take over the team lead in steals from David Wright? He has 3. Second on the team is Conforto with 2. Oh wait, he got demoted. Another good move. He’ll be back.

Professor Reyes has returned! “Professor Reyes” is the greatest jumbotron bit of all time with the possible exception of when they put two chicks up on the kiss cam. I’m pretty sure that’s how Pamela Anderson was discovered, but I digress.

I love this move, unless it means no Gourriel. We all know that a Dominican cannot be used as a substitute for a real Cuban.

Reyes is so HUNGRY and HAPPY to be back. That’s what I love about it. If he succeeds or fails, this is a good move because he is going to TRY HARD and that can go a looooong way. It’s the right place and right time to have a chance for a renaissance (a Reyessance?). Pray for his health. Odds favor digging his grave plot now. Put it side by side with David’s.

Attention Christian Nation: Enough with the “classless” talk! Enough with the “he’s evil” talk! You racist fucks! First of all, doesn’t Jesus say to forgive? Let he who is without sin beateth the first spouse. Now I know Mrs. Reyes dropping the charges means nothing because battered spouses are not necessarily thinking straight. I get that. And I think Reyes needs to do a walk of atonement. A stolen base of atonement would be nice, too. A batting tittle of atonement would be sick (sidenote: Murph’s gonna win that shit choooof). Reyes has been a standup guy his whole life. This one monstrous act is baffling and scary, but this is baseball and one strike doesn’t mean you’re out. Is he remorseful? What is he going to do to show penance? He served his suspension. He remains in therapy. Isn’t the rest between Jose, his wife, and his Gawd? How about this: If you’re so pious that you can’t watch Reyes–that Reyes being back in NY sickens you and you’re going to boo him (Jesus would do otherwise)–quit sports. Quit fandom. Shit’s pretty fucked up. I can’t argue with that, but you definitely have to turn off all sports.

I can’t fucking wait for the Jose chants. I really want Gourriel but I’m excited that the Mets are shaking things up. It feels good to know that my Reyes shirsey is relevant again. I’m excited to see Nimmo, too. Getting Reyes and sticking him 1st in the lineup feels good. It could be a spark. It’s worth a shot.

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