Former Yankee shithead hitting coach Kevin Long is now with the Mets. Fuck the Yankees, but man do they hit. Especially in that teeny-tiny bullshit bandbox stadium in that bullshit borough the Bronx.

Now with the Mets, Kevin Long says, “I feel pretty good about our offense…we’re going to have to push them to their limits. They’re going to have to perform – if not at their peak level – close to their peak level. There will be things I try to do that they’re uncomfortable with. … We’ll work together and, at the end of the day, if we keep on the field, get them to their peak performance or close to it, I think we can be right where we need to be.”

Translation: Oh god does our pitching look nasty this year. Pleeeease don’t suck at hitting this year. We moved the fences in for fucks sake! C’mon Grandy!