Mets Win, Terry Loses

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Mets 2, Fins 1

Slugfest! 

Terry took a lot of heat for calling this game a must-win and for saying the reason it was a must-win was because the media is picking on them.

1) Agreed. The media garbage fake news is infuriating. They’re ravenous. They’re insatiable. They’re out for blooooooood. They just take quotes out of context and run with it. It’s insane. The Mets should ignore all of it. The media entraps these guys by for if them to talk when they don’t want to and then getting mad at what they say. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t. It’s disgraceful. 

2) The thing that people should be on Terry for is putting Henderson in. TC has had problems with this before. I hate it. Know your arms. Henderson has no business in this game. You talk about how it’s a marathon, so treat it like one. Every year, TC picks a blood sacrifice out of the pen and just ruins him. Don’t pitch him into the fucking ground, guy.

3) We’re not hitting. Bats are ice cold. Get in the cages and go to work. 

4) Campbell got demoted. Hooray! All it took was deGrom getting hurt and Terry burning out his pen in April for us to need to bring Montero up in favor of shitty Soup.

Thor K’s 12; Gets ND!?

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thorconfused
A confused Thor looks over the stats and wonders how the fuck he didn’t get a W.

Marlins 2, Mets 1

Do you think we’ll score 300 runs this year? This offense is somehow worse than last year’s? Put Soup in! We couldn’t be any worse.

You just can’t lose this game. Not with a pitching performance like that. Welcome to the wonderful world of Mets baseball, Noah. Enjoy!

 

Matz Shellacked

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matz

So when did y’all turn off the game? After the ump squeezed the shit out of Matz? After Dee Gordon’s infield single? After Stanton’s monster blast?

And I thought yesterday’s game was bad. Remember when TC talked about how everyone was going to bring their A-game against us now? Remember that? Ummmmm…yeah. Especially in the division. WAKE THE FUCK UP. I’m not even putting this one on Matz. We’re not hitting. We’re the worst hitting team in the league (AGAIN), somehow.

Look, this roster is the same as it was a week ago (other than deGrom being deAd). The staff is super studly and super deep. The lineup is strong. For fucks sake, D-Wright is the only one producing. He’s gonna die soon, so these guys need to step up. Get tough. Y’all looked good in KC. Wake up. Win a home series against a shitty team in your division, derrrrr.

P.S. Shock of the century: Soup struck out today. Niiiice. And his bat went flying into the crowd. Can’t wait till he’s playing 3rd base every day.

P.P.S. deGrom left the team to get an MRI witness the birth of his child. Just DL him! Lats ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Oh man, fucking pray for him. Name the kid Yoenis.

What a Fucking Stinker

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Phils 5, Mets 2

Cespy dinger. Great AB. Everyone else–fuck you.

Losing 2 out of 3 at home to the Phils. Jeeeez. 

I’m not panicking. We have a great team. It’s about attitude. The Mets were TURNT UP against KC. This weekend, we looked lazy. Just laughin’ and dancin’ around. Not in a good way. Not in a chemistry way. It was a, “we’re gonna coast to 95 wins” way, and that’s bullshit. Sleepwalking bullshit. These bad teams are still major league ball clubs. Learn your lesson, get tough, and remember there are no free wins. Don’t play down to anyone. It’s on every player and it’s on TC, as well. Wake up. Do better. 

Mets Put Up a Goose Egg Against Shitty Phils

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Phils 1, Mets 0

Jesus, boys, that was brutal. Vintage 2014 performance there. Not like Muno and Kirk are in the lineup anymore. Do better. 

You gonna win a home series against the fucking Phillies or not?!

Tolo rules. On the mound, in the field, and at the plate. 

Our pen looks strong, too.

deGrom is indeed deAd. He’s been scratched from his next start. I’m guessing he’s out until July. The longer they delay the MRI, the worse it’ll be. They’re botching it all. Prepare yourselves. 

deGrom’s deAd

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Backiotomy

Mets win. Duhhh. Phillies are daaaaaoooooogshit. We should win every game against them and rest Wright. Speaking of dudes wit dem back prollums, deGrom’s got a tight lat which is what kept Matz out for three months last season. They’re claiming it’s no big deal. Spinal stenosis diagnosis soon to follow. He’s not as dead as Schwarber but back-brace yourselves, folks. Sidebar: Is Schwarber a Jew?

Soup still managed to strikeout (with runners on) against the poo-poo Philly pen. We really should have kept Uribe & Jelly.

Wheeler’s going under the knife this weekend. PRAY.

I Think These Are Gonna Be Tough to Write

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thorhammer.jpg

 

I’m so glad Metsblow Nation did the damn job of the century last year. We protested and boycotted and stuck together and now our team’s really fucking good. I wish we could’ve split in KC last Fall, but yeah, the Mets (or at least the pitchers) really don’t blow.

Wright’s back must be BAAARKING after 2 stolen bases. He lead the league in steals there for a moment. Loco Turtle is on the loose.

Thank Gawd Thor is a new Met. How “same ol’ Mets” did that 6th inning look? A runner gets to 1st on a K, DP doesn’t get turned, 1 pitch later another failed DP, garbage bloop single, ump squeezes us for a walk and…a big fat 3 pitch K to Morales. Syndergaard WOOF.

Happy recap for the pen as well. 9 up, 9 down for Henderson-Reed-Fam. I’m surprised that Robles didn’t pitch the 8th. I’m not complaining, I just thought that Robles was the setup man, at least for April. I’m wary. I think he might secretly be hurt (update: suspended) or something. Quickpitch quickpitch in yo face. Fam getting the save in KC was nice to see. He might be the best pitcher we have.

Neil Walker with a dong piece. Meet the Mets.

Final Blow: Di Blasio banned chewing tobacco in NY? What the fuck? It’s bad enough everybody’s getting sliiiiiced up on the train. Now you’re gonna take away Harvey’s lip? The chaw? Big Chief? Plug? Wad? Baccy? All the pros do it. It gives you tons of energy. I’m sure our boys will find some way to get their buzz on. I’m optimistic.

 

 

 

Mets Lose the Opener

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Royals 4, Mets 3

Blows:

Cespedes, it’s a contract year. Don’t be aloof. I don’t think it’s a real problem. The unearned run was the difference.

How long until Wright gets moved down in the lineup? A week? A month? 

The Royals are a step faster than the Mets and it keeps showing. I can’t explain why that gets so EXPOSED every time we play them. I think it’s kind of a rock-paper-scissor duel between elite teams. The Royals’ best attributes (speed, defense) are our worst features as a team. Our skills (fireballs) matched up better against the Cubs’ young hitters, that’s for sure. I might be overthinking it. Volquez pitched well. 

Serenity Now:

Our middle infield looked competent today. Turning routine double plays WOW! 

We battled. 

Harvey wasn’t perfect but he was great. His line doesn’t do his night justice. 

One last thing:

Just go 50-50 against the good teams and bury the bad teams. Win the division and then I like our staff against anyone in the postaeason. 

Opening Day Roster

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Look at this glorious, glorious glory. Oh, glory glory hallelujah. We are stacked. If it was 2006 D-Wright and not dead as a doornail D-Wright, we might have the best O in the league as well as the best staff.

I would’ve preferred Tejada over Soup. Flores as the backup SS is bad. Can Cabrera play every day? We pray. Once Wright gets injured (Today, probably…May, the latest, unfortunately), Flores will play 3rd. On days where someone else (like Duda) needs a day off, Wilmer “Zobrist” Flores will go to that position and we’ll have to see Soup. 

Fuuuuuuck Soup. And I like Flores but he’s an oak tree at short and not much better anywhere else. Pray for D-Wright.

I’ve never felt this way going into Opening Day. Thanks to Metsblow Nation, we actually don’t currently blow for the first time ever. Even in 2000, I thought, “we’re not as good as the Braves.” Even in 2007, I thought, “our pitchers are old.” 2016 is completely uncharted waters for us, as far as I’m concerned. In years like 2000 and 2006, I thought we were one of 8~10 competitive teams, and it felt good. The reality of today is that we are one of 4 teams with a legitimate shot. Things change. Injuries and bad chemistries and deadline deals…who knows? But one thing is for certain: 2016 marks the best opening day roster of my lifetime. 

Let’s see how we screw it up. 

Blood Clot in Batdick

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harveybloodclot
Fans reaching out and attempting to grab Harvey’s dick, but doctors and Scott Boras kept the wolves at bay.

 

Just pray. Everyone pray. Pray pray pray. He’s fine. It’s fine. Don’t PANIC!!! It’s only a blood clot. He’ll be good to go for Opening Day. Start the fucking season already.

A note about retaliation:

The Royals retaliated by winning. Yost said it. D-Wright said it. Sure, yeah, that’s cool. But y’all are forgetting one big thing: The Royals LIVE TO BRAWL. It’s their thing. That’s their x-factor. They’re country drunk hicks that are itching to scuffle. They want to take beaners. That’s a mistake when going up against our aces, but it’s their thing.