Mets Are Poorly Taught; Poorly Coached


Ooh, good idea Matz! Get into a dick measuring contest with the most powerful guy in the fucking league! Way to let the dog off the leash, Collins! Yeah, go for it! Clinging to a 1-0 lead with a runner on base? Let’s let the one guy in the lineup who can beat us beat us!

Oh, not enough? Ready for round 2? Well if Matz couldn’t beat him, surely Goeddel can. Oh it’s 3-0? Let’s still NOT put him on! He can’t hit this heat! NO WAY!

Awful baseball. Just awful. They don’t know how to pitch. I wish I knew a bookie, because when Stanton came up and I saw that Matz was going to go after him, I wanted to bet a billy that Stanton was going to crush one.

The Yo Show continued today with a dinger and the official nod for the all star game starting job. I could watch him and Stanton mash all day. Th…the power.

Reyes’s return was uneventful. Zero hits of a baseball or of a wife. It’s just one game. We’ll see how the season goes. I’m still hopeful for Gourriel. De Aza hit a dinger today, which was nice to see after the Mets sent Reynaldo down, rather than cutting De Aza. Not gonna let that money go to waste, eh Jeffy? Besides, Reynolds needs his reps!




Matz Shellacked


So when did y’all turn off the game? After the ump squeezed the shit out of Matz? After Dee Gordon’s infield single? After Stanton’s monster blast?

And I thought yesterday’s game was bad. Remember when TC talked about how everyone was going to bring their A-game against us now? Remember that? Ummmmm…yeah. Especially in the division. WAKE THE FUCK UP. I’m not even putting this one on Matz. We’re not hitting. We’re the worst hitting team in the league (AGAIN), somehow.

Look, this roster is the same as it was a week ago (other than deGrom being deAd). The staff is super studly and super deep. The lineup is strong. For fucks sake, D-Wright is the only one producing. He’s gonna die soon, so these guys need to step up. Get tough. Y’all looked good in KC. Wake up. Win a home series against a shitty team in your division, derrrrr.

P.S. Shock of the century: Soup struck out today. Niiiice. And his bat went flying into the crowd. Can’t wait till he’s playing 3rd base every day.

P.P.S. deGrom left the team to get an MRI witness the birth of his child. Just DL him! Lats ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Oh man, fucking pray for him. Name the kid Yoenis.