What Did We Learn This Weekend?


We learned…

1) The Mets can actually win a series against a mediocre-at-best team.

2) Matz is fine.

3) Even aces struggle. Harvey, Kluber, Greinke…it happens. The sky isn’t falling.

4) Conforto should always bat 3rd. In fact, it should probably be Asdrubal 2nd while we’re at it. Walker 5th. Duda 6th.

5) Despite Conforto being amazing, this lineup still goes as Cespedes goes. We learned that from last season, obviously. Murphy had Yo behind him. Now he has Harper behind him. Conforto has Yo behind him. That shit matters. NO FUCKING DUHH. If you only learned this one this past weekend, you’re an idiot.

6) The Nats aren’t as shitty as they were last season.

7) Papelbon is just as shitty as ever. CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE. No, I’m referring to him blowing the game, not to what he does to MVPs in the dugout.

8) The Phillies aren’t as shitty as they were last season. We went 14-5 against them, but really it was 14-2 (we were swept by them after clinching the division). Their pitching is decent and their lineup sucks. We should still mow them the fuck down.

Happy #HarveyDay?

Blowing a lead? That makes me a saaaaaad Batman.

Yup, this one’s all on our Dark Knight. I know our lead was slim, but we gave Harvey a lead and it’s his job to hold it. That perfect game bid went really fucking sour really fucking quickly. Harvey’s 0-3 and this one’s on him.

Montero didn’t do him any favors, basically letting the game slip away with his awful appearance.

Grandy went yard (to lead off the game). So did Yo and Walker. That’s good stuff. The bats are warming up. However, despite the long balls, we’re not hitting. I know chicks dig the long ball, but you’ve gotta get runners in when they’re in scoring position. We’re not. At all.

TDA got HBP and is now DED. He says that it’s fine. Great. Cya in 3 months.

Thoughts and prayers are with the deGrom family, of course. deGrom’s absence made some room for Soup to rejoin the roster, just to add insult to injury.

We really needed that game. Now we face Kluber in the rubber game. We’ll see how Matz does coming off his worst start ever (in his short career). He’s on regular rest, and many claimed his extended rest was the reason for his struggles last outing. Collins gave too much rest to some and too little rest to others? WHAAAA??

Tolo Scalps Tribe


Mets 6, Redfaced Savages 5

Tolo loves the Indians. Yo loves the Indians. Awesome. These two guys know this park. Good to see all the dingers. Bats are warming up!

How fucking good is Uribe!? Why did we let him go!? I suppose the answer is obvious. It’s the same answer as always. It’s the same reason why Mike Piazza’s 9/11 jersey went on sale. Jews gonna jew.

This game should not have ended up as close as it was. Tolo eventually stumbled, and the Mets got lackadaisical with the lead after going up 6-1. They had opportunities to get insurance but left runners stranded. Other than Conforto’s early dinger and then the 3-home-run inning (De Aza, Yo, Walker), we didn’t take advantage of much.

Harvey’s gotta go out there and lock this series up before we face Kluber on Sunday.


Mets Win, Terry Loses

Mets 2, Fins 1


Terry took a lot of heat for calling this game a must-win and for saying the reason it was a must-win was because the media is picking on them.

1) Agreed. The media garbage fake news is infuriating. They’re ravenous. They’re insatiable. They’re out for blooooooood. They just take quotes out of context and run with it. It’s insane. The Mets should ignore all of it. The media entraps these guys by for if them to talk when they don’t want to and then getting mad at what they say. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t. It’s disgraceful. 

2) The thing that people should be on Terry for is putting Henderson in. TC has had problems with this before. I hate it. Know your arms. Henderson has no business in this game. You talk about how it’s a marathon, so treat it like one. Every year, TC picks a blood sacrifice out of the pen and just ruins him. Don’t pitch him into the fucking ground, guy.

3) We’re not hitting. Bats are ice cold. Get in the cages and go to work. 

4) Campbell got demoted. Hooray! All it took was deGrom getting hurt and Terry burning out his pen in April for us to need to bring Montero up in favor of shitty Soup.

Thor K’s 12; Gets ND!?

A confused Thor looks over the stats and wonders how the fuck he didn’t get a W.

Marlins 2, Mets 1

Do you think we’ll score 300 runs this year? This offense is somehow worse than last year’s? Put Soup in! We couldn’t be any worse.

You just can’t lose this game. Not with a pitching performance like that. Welcome to the wonderful world of Mets baseball, Noah. Enjoy!


Matz Shellacked


So when did y’all turn off the game? After the ump squeezed the shit out of Matz? After Dee Gordon’s infield single? After Stanton’s monster blast?

And I thought yesterday’s game was bad. Remember when TC talked about how everyone was going to bring their A-game against us now? Remember that? Ummmmm…yeah. Especially in the division. WAKE THE FUCK UP. I’m not even putting this one on Matz. We’re not hitting. We’re the worst hitting team in the league (AGAIN), somehow.

Look, this roster is the same as it was a week ago (other than deGrom being deAd). The staff is super studly and super deep. The lineup is strong. For fucks sake, D-Wright is the only one producing. He’s gonna die soon, so these guys need to step up. Get tough. Y’all looked good in KC. Wake up. Win a home series against a shitty team in your division, derrrrr.

P.S. Shock of the century: Soup struck out today. Niiiice. And his bat went flying into the crowd. Can’t wait till he’s playing 3rd base every day.

P.P.S. deGrom left the team to get an MRI witness the birth of his child. Just DL him! Lats ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Oh man, fucking pray for him. Name the kid Yoenis.

What a Fucking Stinker

Phils 5, Mets 2

Cespy dinger. Great AB. Everyone else–fuck you.

Losing 2 out of 3 at home to the Phils. Jeeeez. 

I’m not panicking. We have a great team. It’s about attitude. The Mets were TURNT UP against KC. This weekend, we looked lazy. Just laughin’ and dancin’ around. Not in a good way. Not in a chemistry way. It was a, “we’re gonna coast to 95 wins” way, and that’s bullshit. Sleepwalking bullshit. These bad teams are still major league ball clubs. Learn your lesson, get tough, and remember there are no free wins. Don’t play down to anyone. It’s on every player and it’s on TC, as well. Wake up. Do better. 

Mets Put Up a Goose Egg Against Shitty Phils

Phils 1, Mets 0

Jesus, boys, that was brutal. Vintage 2014 performance there. Not like Muno and Kirk are in the lineup anymore. Do better. 

You gonna win a home series against the fucking Phillies or not?!

Tolo rules. On the mound, in the field, and at the plate. 

Our pen looks strong, too.

deGrom is indeed deAd. He’s been scratched from his next start. I’m guessing he’s out until July. The longer they delay the MRI, the worse it’ll be. They’re botching it all. Prepare yourselves. 

deGrom’s deAd


Mets win. Duhhh. Phillies are daaaaaoooooogshit. We should win every game against them and rest Wright. Speaking of dudes wit dem back prollums, deGrom’s got a tight lat which is what kept Matz out for three months last season. They’re claiming it’s no big deal. Spinal stenosis diagnosis soon to follow. He’s not as dead as Schwarber but back-brace yourselves, folks. Sidebar: Is Schwarber a Jew?

Soup still managed to strikeout (with runners on) against the poo-poo Philly pen. We really should have kept Uribe & Jelly.

Wheeler’s going under the knife this weekend. PRAY.

I Think These Are Gonna Be Tough to Write



I’m so glad Metsblow Nation did the damn job of the century last year. We protested and boycotted and stuck together and now our team’s really fucking good. I wish we could’ve split in KC last Fall, but yeah, the Mets (or at least the pitchers) really don’t blow.

Wright’s back must be BAAARKING after 2 stolen bases. He lead the league in steals there for a moment. Loco Turtle is on the loose.

Thank Gawd Thor is a new Met. How “same ol’ Mets” did that 6th inning look? A runner gets to 1st on a K, DP doesn’t get turned, 1 pitch later another failed DP, garbage bloop single, ump squeezes us for a walk and…a big fat 3 pitch K to Morales. Syndergaard WOOF.

Happy recap for the pen as well. 9 up, 9 down for Henderson-Reed-Fam. I’m surprised that Robles didn’t pitch the 8th. I’m not complaining, I just thought that Robles was the setup man, at least for April. I’m wary. I think he might secretly be hurt (update: suspended) or something. Quickpitch quickpitch in yo face. Fam getting the save in KC was nice to see. He might be the best pitcher we have.

Neil Walker with a dong piece. Meet the Mets.

Final Blow: Di Blasio banned chewing tobacco in NY? What the fuck? It’s bad enough everybody’s getting sliiiiiced up on the train. Now you’re gonna take away Harvey’s lip? The chaw? Big Chief? Plug? Wad? Baccy? All the pros do it. It gives you tons of energy. I’m sure our boys will find some way to get their buzz on. I’m optimistic.