Month: March 2015

Sandy Alderson: Baseball Maverick

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That’s the title of some new bullshit book, likely funded by the Wilpons. Nevermind, the Wilpons would never fund anything. 

The book basically talks about how Alderson has revived the Mets! 79 wins last year! Talk about revival!

It spends half the book talking about how savvy the Beltran for Wheeler deal was. True, it was savvy. TJ surgery aside, it was savvy.

And the other half of the book? Just blank pages would’ve been better. What the fuck has he done? He hypothetically got a lot for Dickey, but Thor isn’t even in the majors yet and d’Arnaud hasn’t put it together for a full season. d’Arnaud’s biggest accomplishment has been raking in a meaningless September against roster expansion call-ups.

There’s nothing else. Despite not being Latino, Harvey was a Minaya pick. Everyone else you can think of is also due to Minaya. Alderson brought us Josh “Smooth” Satin. 

Zero winning records in his tenure with the Mets. What a maverick. “Maverick” is a poker term that refers to betting big without looking at your hand. That sounds avout right now, except the Jewpons would rather be at the penny slots. Thanks for the book, assholes. Metsblow. 

The Projected Lineup Is Strong; No Contingency Plan

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1- Lagares CF

2- Grandy LF

3- Wright 3B

4- Duda 1B

5- Cuddyer RF

6- Murphy 2B

7- d’Arnaud C

8- Flores SS

—

Well, well, looky here. A good lineup! AMAZIN’! The fences were moved in. So they’ll want Grandy batting 2nd to hit more dingers. Murphy hits for a higher .avg, but they’re gonna want to give Grandy more ABs. It could be switched.

The main concern is, of course, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WHEN SOMEONE GETS HURT? For the past 4 years, we have had automatic outs at 6, 7, and 8. Now, we don’t. But what about when Cuddyer gets hurt and it’s Mayberry instead? Tejada instead of Flores? Recker instead of d’Arnaud?

When the Giants lost Posey in 2011, their backup plan was, “ok, we’ll just lose this year. It’s over.” That’s fine when discussing David Wright. He’s our franchise player. He’s our super-elite. He’s paid a lot. He’s our, “We absolutely need him to be effective and healthy and to lead the team” guy. But everyone else? Where is the fucking contingency? It’s in the Wilpons’ pockets.

Advice for Dillon Gee

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Dillon Gee is pissed, and rightly so.

He was the Opening Day starter last year, and rightly so, considering Harvey and Niese were injured at the time.

Gee wants to be a starter. Now he is, but only by default. He’s found his way back into the rotation because of Zack Wheeler’s season ending injury.

“It’s tough to feel happy under these circumstances,” Gee told reporters Tuesday. “I hate this is the way I’m back in it.”

Here is my advice: play your way off the team. The Mets don’t want you here. You don’t want to be here. You want to be a starter. The Mets will pen you the minute Matz or Thor is ready (assuming no other injuries, which is admittedly a lofty assumption). Hell, they might even replace you with Montero.

Play your way off the team. You have been overlooked by the Mets. I agree with how you feel. After your oblique injury, you haven’t looked so good. But before it, you were deservedly the Opening Day starter. Get back to that. Earn it. Earn your spot in the rotation of a real team.

The Lack of Depth at Catcher

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Dillon Gee will replace Zack Wheeler in the rotation. Great. Depth. Nice. It’ll do. Let’s move on.

The Mets severely lack depth everywhere else. We have NO lefty reliever. We have NO shortstop. We are relying on Brittlebones Cuddyer to start in the outfield and simultaneously back up the currently injured Lucas Duda at 1st and David Wright at 3rd, who suffered last year’s most debilitating and derailing injury.

And at catcher? We have the oft-injured Travis d’Arnaud. He figures to be a franchise linchpin. He had a great 2nd half last year. He was acquired for Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey. He has lots of promise, and also lots of injuries. Last year, he was backed by Anthony “Golden Chin” Recker. He’s very burly. He bats a robust .175 or so and occasionally can hit a home run. To put it simply, he sucks ass. So what about Kevin Plawecki? Everyone seems to love him. Today, in the bottom of the 9th, he let up a walkoff passed ball. Awesome.

d’Arnaud is the first legitimate catcher since Lo Duca in ’06. Oh and the times we made the playoffs before that? Mike Piazza. And in ’86? Gary Carter. There’s a reason the pitcher is 1 and the catcher is 2 in score-book shorthand. It’s because the pitcher is the most important guy out there, and the catcher is the second most important. Look at the Yankee dynasties (until your eyes bleed and you can’t look anymore). Yogi Berra, Jorge Posada…no coincidence that they sustained greatness. The current Giants dynasty? Hello, Buster Posey. The reason the Giants didn’t even make the playoffs in 2011? Hello, Buster Posey injury.

d’Arnaud has gotta stay healthy. And is that possible given that the Mets have been employing Dr. Nick for the past decade? Not bloody likely. Call Dr. Nick and ask him yourself. 1-800-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!

Wheeler Needs TJ; Mets Showed Little Concern

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Zack Wheeler has a torn UCL. He will likely get TJ and miss the season.

Boy, did the Mets pull a Mets on this one. Their lack of honest reporting was bad. Their lack of concern was worse. How often do they underplay injuries, only to have them exacerbated? A stitch in time saves nine.

As far as the rotation is concerned, we might be ok. Gee, Thor, Matz…we’ve got pieces. I’m not saying this doesn’t suck, cuz it totally sucks, but looking at it through the dough-eyed lens of Spring: the rotation is the one area where we have the depth to afford an injury.  

Zack Wheeler’s MRI Results Withheld from Public

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It’s amazing how much Metsblow writes itself. Every damn day there’s another mummer’s farce; some new way that the organization trips over itself. “We have the results of Wheeler’s MRI. But oh, we can’t read the results! It’s written in some kind of Sanskrit Pig Latin! Oh well, no biggie. It’s of no concern. Wheeler will be back tomorrow. So will Jose Reyes.” 

Now Wheeler is Getting an MRI

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Alderson said he didn’t need one.

Now he’s getting one.

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

Metsblow is your only source for truth! Never believe Alderson or the Jewpon fuckhead Ponzi schemers. All other writings are Wilpon funded Jew bullshit nonsense!! They’re all liars!! Always believe the worst. Always believe Metsblow. Because they really, truly do. 

Don’t worry, Jose Reyes will be back tomorrow. 

Zack Wheeler Injured Etc.

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Just copy & paste my last article and then find & replace “Vic Black” with “Zack Wheeler” and boom, done. Metsblow.

Here’s a new insight I’ve had in the last five minutes as I read the same shit about injuries and downplaying them: When Carlos Beltran got injured, the Mets tried to downplay it. Beltran saw his own doctor for a second opinion, and that doctor said the injury was more severe than what the Jewpons’ doctor said. Then the Mets’ Media and everyone else in the Jewpons’ deep, Ponzi scheme pockets turned Beltran into a pariah. Hmmmm.

Black Had an MRI on His Shoulder but Don’t Worry! It’s Totally OK!

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Vic Black underwent an MRI on his throwing shoulder, the team said.

Sandy Alderson said it was a precautionary scan and Black’s issue is likely shoulder tendinitis.

The MRI showed no structural damage. The Mets are calling it shoulder weakness and Black is listed as day-to-day.

Where have I heard this all before? Hmmmm, oh yeah! David Wright! Captain America! They said he was having shoulder weakness! No big deal! Except that he only hit 8 home runs and had his worst season ever last year, playing with a bad shoulder injury for practically the entire time.

And oh yeah, with Jose Reyes! They said no problem, just day-to-day!

Hey, didn’t I write about Reyes yesterday!? Oh yeah! I did! In regards to the Mets saying Josh Edgin was totally fine and day-to-day! No big deal, except that he’s probably going to have TJ surgery and miss the entire season.

ALL ABOARD THE INJURY EXPRESS! The 7 Train! Straight from Shea Shittyfield to Dr. James Andrews’ beach paradise & rehab facility.

I know everyone gets injured and that’s just sports, but do the Mets get injured more? Maybe. Does the Mets Media lie about it more? Yes. Do the Wilpons skimp on medicine and care costs? Yes.

P.S. I think Shittyfield is a gorgeous park. The only things shitty about it are the name (didn’t we bail your fuckin asses out?) and the team playing on it.

Wilpons Give Hush Money to Leigh Castergine

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The Mets and Leigh Castergine have resolved their lawsuit. The two sides did not disclose the terms of the settlement.

As you all remember, Castergine was fired by the Mets as senior vice president of marketing and ticket sales because the team’s ownership objected to her becoming pregnant out of wedlock.

The media really shut this one down. It’s not surprising that some New York Jews have such a stranglehold on mainstream media, but dammit I really thought this one would do more damage. Donald Sterling got ousted for racism. I thought maybe the Wilpons would get ousted for sexism.

How much hush money do you think she got? This one really got swept under the rug. When you consider how PC everyone is these days, I’m amazed at how quietly this issue went away. I assume her little bastard has a totally kickass crib, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Little David Snow may never have to work a day in his life thanks to the “generosity” of the Wilpons. And yes, I am assuming his name is David because David Wright rawdawgs all the chicks that work for the Mets and they all fall in love with him and name their bastards for him.

P.S. How fucking great would it be to get hush monies? Is it the American dream? Don’t worry, I have a duty to expose any and everything related to getting the Wilpons fired, but if it was like…uhhh…the owner for some other team or other sport or just some celebrity or something? Oh, yeah. Hush monies all the way.

P.P.S. The level of chicanery that Jeff Wilpon has never ceases to amaze me. He claims he fired her because of declining ticket sales. Uhhh, yeah, Jeff. Ticket sales declined because of your SVP of ticket sales. Totally. Not because of the baseball team being absolute dogshit? Gotcha, Jeff. I know a guy that tripped on mushrooms and acid for two years straight in the dessert (Burning Man or some shit). In between his ramblings about space coyotes, he once said, “man, Jeff Wilpon is really delusional.”