d’Arnaud d’Ead

Poor, poor Travis. Just keeps on dying. Mets disease is the realest. I wanna say, “I told you so” when I wrote that the Mets should’ve traded Matz & TDA (and I think a minor leaguer) for Arenado, but Arenado would’ve died, too. Rockies probably would’ve baited & switched for Thor, anyway. Well, he’s dead, too.

They all blow. It’s really not fun. Mets went 4-2 on that road trip with an ERA of 8. The starters! The precious starters! Montero tonight. Rocket launcher engaged. 

The Reds Are Looking to Next Season; d’Arnaud d’Ead


The Mets win. Theeeeee Mets win. Wow Michael Kay is a fucking dipshit. He’s also inappropriate with women, by the way.

So Cespedes is the greatest. That ain’t news. First pitch pinch-hit dinger. He is the savior. That’s really all there is to it. He said (through a translator), “I can’t run. I’m hobbled. I’ll just hit a home run so I can walk around the bases.” Well played. In truth, he looked quick out of the box on that laser beam dinger that just cleared the line. And he was screaming his head off when Wright knocked in the go-ahead run. Life in the dugout. We’re wide awake. It’s great.

But the real story here is that the Reds are looking to next season. This guy Finnegan is nice. He’ll win the Reds a lot of games down the road. They left him in to face righty Yo 100% no question because they have conceded. “Our bullpen is horrendous and this guy Finnegan is our future so let’s just see how he does in pressure situations against power hitters.” I respect it. I just think it’s kinda funny and what it really means is that we have to beat the shit out of these teams. Also, be careful: Teams that have conceded the season have players with nothing to lose. HarveyDay for the sweep.

Lost in the shuffle is Tolo yet again battling and performing at a high level. Reed and Familia have looked great. Familia got Billy Hamilton and then the next two so Votto didn’t even bat. He’s returning to form. His sinker-cutter dealie makes me glad to be in a cookie lob co-ed softball league.

Extra blow: d’Arnaud is indeed d’Ead. I think his career is d’One. I hate it. I really do. I’m rooting hard for the kid but he is GLAAAAASSSSSS. Maybe trade him to go play 1B or DH somewhere? His bat would come around and be great if he could stay on the field but he can’t. Light your candles.

Duhhh d’Arnaud to DL! Duhhh Mets lied! Duhhhh!

Mr. Glass
Mr. Glass


The Mets said d’Arnaud was perfectly fine. They said he’d be back today. DUHHHHH HE’S DEAD!!!

If you expected the Mets front office to tell the truth; if you expected d’Arnaud to be fine; if you expected d’Arnaud to be in tonight’s lineup, then you have no brain. Or you’re just new to the fanbase. Get a taste. This is what it’s like.

The Lack of Depth at Catcher

Dillon Gee will replace Zack Wheeler in the rotation. Great. Depth. Nice. It’ll do. Let’s move on.

The Mets severely lack depth everywhere else. We have NO lefty reliever. We have NO shortstop. We are relying on Brittlebones Cuddyer to start in the outfield and simultaneously back up the currently injured Lucas Duda at 1st and David Wright at 3rd, who suffered last year’s most debilitating and derailing injury.

And at catcher? We have the oft-injured Travis d’Arnaud. He figures to be a franchise linchpin. He had a great 2nd half last year. He was acquired for Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey. He has lots of promise, and also lots of injuries. Last year, he was backed by Anthony “Golden Chin” Recker. He’s very burly. He bats a robust .175 or so and occasionally can hit a home run. To put it simply, he sucks ass. So what about Kevin Plawecki? Everyone seems to love him. Today, in the bottom of the 9th, he let up a walkoff passed ball. Awesome.

d’Arnaud is the first legitimate catcher since Lo Duca in ’06. Oh and the times we made the playoffs before that? Mike Piazza. And in ’86? Gary Carter. There’s a reason the pitcher is 1 and the catcher is 2 in score-book shorthand. It’s because the pitcher is the most important guy out there, and the catcher is the second most important. Look at the Yankee dynasties (until your eyes bleed and you can’t look anymore). Yogi Berra, Jorge Posada…no coincidence that they sustained greatness. The current Giants dynasty? Hello, Buster Posey. The reason the Giants didn’t even make the playoffs in 2011? Hello, Buster Posey injury.

d’Arnaud has gotta stay healthy. And is that possible given that the Mets have been employing Dr. Nick for the past decade? Not bloody likely. Call Dr. Nick and ask him yourself. 1-800-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!