Aka The Mets desperately need to sell tickets and make more Jew gold.
“Ow my elbow.” -Matt Harvey in May.
mets
Baby Jeffy Wilpon Cries About Money Spent
Metsblog writes: The Mets have spent more than $900 million on player salaries since their last playoff appearance in 2006.
WWAAAAAAAHHHH! WAAAAAAHHH!! Here comes the wambulance for Jeffy Wilpon. “We spent the munny! Too much munny! WAAAAHHH! No more munny! See we twied! We twied! We spent the munny! It doesn’t wok! No wok! Spend munny bad! Now no spend munny good! Waaaah!!
Fuck you. It’s not spending that’s wrong. It’s your complete ineptitude at how you spend it. Fuck your whole family. Fuck your silver spoon mouth, your delusions, and your mom.
Cold Stove Report: Mets Will Not Sign Phil Coke
Metsblog wrote that we won’t be signing Phil Coke. Such news!
I love how the Jewbrass has Metsblog write these articles so it LOOKS like they’re trying. “Oh, see! We were close to a deal! We tried to spend money! That’s why there’s an article on it!”
The reality: Alderson picked up a phone, called Coke’s agent, made a ridiculous Jew lowball offer, and they hung up on us. Mets’ Cold Stove.
Bobby Parnell’s Plans
Bobby Parnell plans to:
~pitch his guts out
~Get his bonus
~blow out his arm forever
They’ll never gift the job to Mejia, because young bull saves = mo’ $. Choooo. About 2mil more if he’s the full-time closer. 2 mil!? 2 MIL!!!?? Good god. The Wilpons have a vivarium to feed. He’s gotta STOMP IT OUT! all season to win the job.
The Lineup
I guess we have the 8 starters that are set…
1- Lagares cf
2- Grandy lf
3- Wright 3b
4- Duda 1b
5- Cuddyer rf
6- Murphy 2b
7- d’Arnaud c
8- Flores ss aka DH
9- Harvey better than ever!!!
And then Mayberry and Tejada on the bench. And 15 pitchers dope pitchers.
Great depth, guys. Great fuckin depth. 20,000 leagues under the majors.
Mets and the Ever-Elusive Signing of Anyone
The cheap Jew bastards are at it again…
The Mets are reportedly talking with LH reliever Joe Thatcher.
The report failed to mention that the conversation was:
Joe: Hello, this is Joe Thatcher.
Sandy: Oooh I’m sorry I must have the wrong number.
Or, this:
Joe: Hello, this is Joe Thatcher.
Sandy: So are you going to the Yankees or the Astros?
See Mets fans!? They’re talking! The reports are accurate! Seeeee?
After this “story” broke, the Mets Jewbrass came out and said that we should mitigate our expectations for Joe Thatcher.
MITIGATE! FOR JOE THATCHER! Not Tulo. Not Moncada. Joe fucking Thatcher. Good God, I don’t know if I can mitigate any further than the negative space where my expectations already reside.
Matt Harvey writes an article that says he’s hungry as fuck. The fans are hungry as fuck. GIVE US SOMETHING YOU FUCKING JEWS!! And I’m not talking about signing for the sake of signing. I’m talking about the fact that we need a shortstop, a lefty arm, and that deGrom and Harvey are our 4th and 5th best hitters.
Ron Darling Will Call Some Spring Training Games
Ron Darling will handle the play-by-play for a few Spring Training games. Keith will be the color analyst.
Love it. Love Ronnie. Love RJ (I hear Keith call him this sometimes…it’s for Ron Jr. haha). The truth is that Gary, Keith, & Ron are the best thing that the Mets have. There’s no question about it. If Gary wants to take a few Spring Training games off, that’s totally fine with me. Nobody has earned it more than him. Gary, Keith, & Ron: the only part of the Mets worth watching/listening/paying attention to.
Mets Report to PSL in 7 Days…
For the uninformed: PSL = Port St. Lucie = Spring Training
Yaaaay hope springs eternal!
Too bad it’s in Florida because that means the Jewbag Wilpons are likely already down there to spoil the fun.
They make the players pay for their own bus fare to get down there.
The Mets Got So Lucky…
…that the Jets SUCK DICK and the Knicks SUCK DICK. The Wilpons are snaking their way under the NYC radar because are all so distracted by what absolute dogshit the other NY teams are right now.
…that deGrom won ROY. Just like ODB for the Giants. What a distraction!
…that the Yankees didn’t make the playoffs. Don’t let this fool you! There is a binary code for winning teams and losing teams. The Yankees were a 1 and the Mets were a 0. Don’t for one second think we’re equal or better. We ain’t. Not until we prove it.
The Mets Got So Lucky that NYSportsBlow.
Around the league: Mariners sign Rickie Weeks
Mariners made another nice pickup. Rickie Weeks at 1 yr/$2m.
What’s with the depth? Some organizations think they’re running submarines instead of baseball teams.
Metsblow 😦
MetsBlow 