Mets and the Ever-Elusive Signing of Anyone

The cheap Jew bastards are at it again…

The Mets are reportedly talking with LH reliever Joe Thatcher.

The report failed to mention that the conversation was:

Joe: Hello, this is Joe Thatcher.

Sandy: Oooh I’m sorry I must have the wrong number.

Or, this:

Joe: Hello, this is Joe Thatcher.

Sandy: So are you going to the Yankees or the Astros?

See Mets fans!? They’re talking! The reports are accurate! Seeeee?

After this “story” broke, the Mets Jewbrass came out and said that we should mitigate our expectations for Joe Thatcher.

MITIGATE! FOR JOE THATCHER! Not Tulo. Not Moncada. Joe fucking Thatcher. Good God, I don’t know if I can mitigate any further than the negative space where my expectations already reside.

Matt Harvey writes an article that says he’s hungry as fuck. The fans are hungry as fuck. GIVE US SOMETHING YOU FUCKING JEWS!! And I’m not talking about signing for the sake of signing. I’m talking about the fact that we need a shortstop, a lefty arm, and that deGrom and Harvey are our 4th and 5th best hitters.

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