mets

Mets Can’t Sweep Phils

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Derrr, which way does the broom go?

Mets lose to the Phils in extra innings. Out-depth’d. Wow. That’s bad. Wright missing that foul ball. Oops. The wild pitch. Garbage. Umps taking away Asdrubal’s dinger (horrible fan interference call) away and us not being able to score otherwise. Terrible. 

Now we go to Atlanta. The Braves are even worse. Our biggest obstacle is that Turner Field is haunted, and now that the stadium won’t exist much longer, the maintenance crew is phoning it the fuck in and everyone is complaining about how bad the field conditions are. 

Dingers! Dingers!

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A wink that says, “That would’ve been out at Shitti, too.”

Mets 11, Phils 1

Wow. Somebody put an asterisk next to all of J-Roll’s stats because this stadium is a JOKE.

Great to see dinger after dinger. We all love slow-pitch softball. I’m not concerned or anything. I’m just saying at some point we’ll have to prove we can play sound offense because we don’t get to play in this tiny, shitty stadium (re: city) every day.

Verrett making a bid to be a part of this staff. Obviously, he’s established himself as the long man (until Wheeler comes back and Colon likely takes that role). deGrom is set to start on Sunday.

Quietly–and with dignity–the Mets’ infield has done exactly what we hoped. It’s still early, but they are making routine plays and it is fascinating. The supposedly “not so good at defense” boys are soooo much better than the “born to DH” combo of Flores/Murph. 

Lagares made an unbelievable catch to rob a dinger. How’s his arm? Pretty sure newly christened mop up man Montero was in at the time. 

Let’s sweep this shitty–but not as shitty as last year–team.  

David Wright Should Finish His Career in Philly

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wright phillyMets 5, Phils 2

I guess we’d all love to hit at Baby Park. Good for Wright. Good for everyone. Dingers! Dingers! Dingers! Keep piling ’em on. I still think Asdrubal should hit 2nd. He notched 3 more hits today. I love Wright. Don’t get me wrong. What’s not to love? He even made a nice play today (that didn’t require a throw with lots of zip). I hope he proves me wrong, but realistically, unless he’s going to be a selfish douche insecure bitch “Face of the Franchise” like Jeter was, he’s going to have to move down in the order at some point. Prove me wrong! Don’t die!

Nobody let Thor eat a damn sandwich ever again! Jeez, ever since #sandwichgate, Thor has torn it up. He’s really blossoming. That Thor’s so hot right now.

This game was too close for too long. Eickhoff? Really!?

Hey, while everybody is going apeshit over Daniel Murphy’s hot start, ask yourselves: Who is leading the Mets in HRs? Neil Walker, baby. Who is playing adequate defense? Neil Walker, baby. We all know Murphy is great. It really shouldn’t surprise anyone that he’ll hit .300 with Harper behind him. .415 is pretty damn surprising, and if the season ends with him batting .350, then yeah, I’ll be surprised. But hey, the Nats paid him. I don’t know why everyone is going apeshit. He plays Murphyball. We all know about the .400 hitting Murphy. That’s the same Murphy who runs the bases like shit and boots routine plays. And we still like him! Because he can be a +2. We know this. 2015 NLCS MVP kaboom Jesus. He’s a good pleeeyer. Move on.

Murphy leads the NL in batting average. Who is in 2nd place? Angel Pagan. We know he was damn good, too! At least Neil “full fledged Major Leaguer” Walker replaced Murph. Pagan got replaced by Andres Torres. OOPS! 5 years later, Pagan is still good but I’ll take Conforto-Cespedes-Grandy. Good players on good teams, all around.

 

What Did We Learn This Weekend?

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learnstan

We learned…

1) The Mets can actually win a series against a mediocre-at-best team.

2) Matz is fine.

3) Even aces struggle. Harvey, Kluber, Greinke…it happens. The sky isn’t falling.

4) Conforto should always bat 3rd. In fact, it should probably be Asdrubal 2nd while we’re at it. Walker 5th. Duda 6th.

5) Despite Conforto being amazing, this lineup still goes as Cespedes goes. We learned that from last season, obviously. Murphy had Yo behind him. Now he has Harper behind him. Conforto has Yo behind him. That shit matters. NO FUCKING DUHH. If you only learned this one this past weekend, you’re an idiot.

6) The Nats aren’t as shitty as they were last season.

7) Papelbon is just as shitty as ever. CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE. No, I’m referring to him blowing the game, not to what he does to MVPs in the dugout.

8) The Phillies aren’t as shitty as they were last season. We went 14-5 against them, but really it was 14-2 (we were swept by them after clinching the division). Their pitching is decent and their lineup sucks. We should still mow them the fuck down.

Happy #HarveyDay?

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sadbatman
Blowing a lead? That makes me a saaaaaad Batman.

Yup, this one’s all on our Dark Knight. I know our lead was slim, but we gave Harvey a lead and it’s his job to hold it. That perfect game bid went really fucking sour really fucking quickly. Harvey’s 0-3 and this one’s on him.

Montero didn’t do him any favors, basically letting the game slip away with his awful appearance.

Grandy went yard (to lead off the game). So did Yo and Walker. That’s good stuff. The bats are warming up. However, despite the long balls, we’re not hitting. I know chicks dig the long ball, but you’ve gotta get runners in when they’re in scoring position. We’re not. At all.

TDA got HBP and is now DED. He says that it’s fine. Great. Cya in 3 months.

Thoughts and prayers are with the deGrom family, of course. deGrom’s absence made some room for Soup to rejoin the roster, just to add insult to injury.

We really needed that game. Now we face Kluber in the rubber game. We’ll see how Matz does coming off his worst start ever (in his short career). He’s on regular rest, and many claimed his extended rest was the reason for his struggles last outing. Collins gave too much rest to some and too little rest to others? WHAAAA??

Tolo Scalps Tribe

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colonthrowing

Mets 6, Redfaced Savages 5

Tolo loves the Indians. Yo loves the Indians. Awesome. These two guys know this park. Good to see all the dingers. Bats are warming up!

How fucking good is Uribe!? Why did we let him go!? I suppose the answer is obvious. It’s the same answer as always. It’s the same reason why Mike Piazza’s 9/11 jersey went on sale. Jews gonna jew.

This game should not have ended up as close as it was. Tolo eventually stumbled, and the Mets got lackadaisical with the lead after going up 6-1. They had opportunities to get insurance but left runners stranded. Other than Conforto’s early dinger and then the 3-home-run inning (De Aza, Yo, Walker), we didn’t take advantage of much.

Harvey’s gotta go out there and lock this series up before we face Kluber on Sunday.

 

Mets Win, Terry Loses

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Mets 2, Fins 1

Slugfest! 

Terry took a lot of heat for calling this game a must-win and for saying the reason it was a must-win was because the media is picking on them.

1) Agreed. The media garbage fake news is infuriating. They’re ravenous. They’re insatiable. They’re out for blooooooood. They just take quotes out of context and run with it. It’s insane. The Mets should ignore all of it. The media entraps these guys by for if them to talk when they don’t want to and then getting mad at what they say. Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t. It’s disgraceful. 

2) The thing that people should be on Terry for is putting Henderson in. TC has had problems with this before. I hate it. Know your arms. Henderson has no business in this game. You talk about how it’s a marathon, so treat it like one. Every year, TC picks a blood sacrifice out of the pen and just ruins him. Don’t pitch him into the fucking ground, guy.

3) We’re not hitting. Bats are ice cold. Get in the cages and go to work. 

4) Campbell got demoted. Hooray! All it took was deGrom getting hurt and Terry burning out his pen in April for us to need to bring Montero up in favor of shitty Soup.

Thor K’s 12; Gets ND!?

metsblow, 1 Comment
thorconfused
A confused Thor looks over the stats and wonders how the fuck he didn’t get a W.

Marlins 2, Mets 1

Do you think we’ll score 300 runs this year? This offense is somehow worse than last year’s? Put Soup in! We couldn’t be any worse.

You just can’t lose this game. Not with a pitching performance like that. Welcome to the wonderful world of Mets baseball, Noah. Enjoy!

 

Matz Shellacked

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matz

So when did y’all turn off the game? After the ump squeezed the shit out of Matz? After Dee Gordon’s infield single? After Stanton’s monster blast?

And I thought yesterday’s game was bad. Remember when TC talked about how everyone was going to bring their A-game against us now? Remember that? Ummmmm…yeah. Especially in the division. WAKE THE FUCK UP. I’m not even putting this one on Matz. We’re not hitting. We’re the worst hitting team in the league (AGAIN), somehow.

Look, this roster is the same as it was a week ago (other than deGrom being deAd). The staff is super studly and super deep. The lineup is strong. For fucks sake, D-Wright is the only one producing. He’s gonna die soon, so these guys need to step up. Get tough. Y’all looked good in KC. Wake up. Win a home series against a shitty team in your division, derrrrr.

P.S. Shock of the century: Soup struck out today. Niiiice. And his bat went flying into the crowd. Can’t wait till he’s playing 3rd base every day.

P.P.S. deGrom left the team to get an MRI witness the birth of his child. Just DL him! Lats ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. Oh man, fucking pray for him. Name the kid Yoenis.

What a Fucking Stinker

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Phils 5, Mets 2

Cespy dinger. Great AB. Everyone else–fuck you.

Losing 2 out of 3 at home to the Phils. Jeeeez. 

I’m not panicking. We have a great team. It’s about attitude. The Mets were TURNT UP against KC. This weekend, we looked lazy. Just laughin’ and dancin’ around. Not in a good way. Not in a chemistry way. It was a, “we’re gonna coast to 95 wins” way, and that’s bullshit. Sleepwalking bullshit. These bad teams are still major league ball clubs. Learn your lesson, get tough, and remember there are no free wins. Don’t play down to anyone. It’s on every player and it’s on TC, as well. Wake up. Do better.