The Lack of Depth at Catcher

Dillon Gee will replace Zack Wheeler in the rotation. Great. Depth. Nice. It’ll do. Let’s move on.

The Mets severely lack depth everywhere else. We have NO lefty reliever. We have NO shortstop. We are relying on Brittlebones Cuddyer to start in the outfield and simultaneously back up the currently injured Lucas Duda at 1st and David Wright at 3rd, who suffered last year’s most debilitating and derailing injury.

And at catcher? We have the oft-injured Travis d’Arnaud. He figures to be a franchise linchpin. He had a great 2nd half last year. He was acquired for Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey. He has lots of promise, and also lots of injuries. Last year, he was backed by Anthony “Golden Chin” Recker. He’s very burly. He bats a robust .175 or so and occasionally can hit a home run. To put it simply, he sucks ass. So what about Kevin Plawecki? Everyone seems to love him. Today, in the bottom of the 9th, he let up a walkoff passed ball. Awesome.

d’Arnaud is the first legitimate catcher since Lo Duca in ’06. Oh and the times we made the playoffs before that? Mike Piazza. And in ’86? Gary Carter. There’s a reason the pitcher is 1 and the catcher is 2 in score-book shorthand. It’s because the pitcher is the most important guy out there, and the catcher is the second most important. Look at the Yankee dynasties (until your eyes bleed and you can’t look anymore). Yogi Berra, Jorge Posada…no coincidence that they sustained greatness. The current Giants dynasty? Hello, Buster Posey. The reason the Giants didn’t even make the playoffs in 2011? Hello, Buster Posey injury.

d’Arnaud has gotta stay healthy. And is that possible given that the Mets have been employing Dr. Nick for the past decade? Not bloody likely. Call Dr. Nick and ask him yourself. 1-800-DOCTORB. The B is for bargain!

Wheeler Needs TJ; Mets Showed Little Concern

Zack Wheeler has a torn UCL. He will likely get TJ and miss the season.

Boy, did the Mets pull a Mets on this one. Their lack of honest reporting was bad. Their lack of concern was worse. How often do they underplay injuries, only to have them exacerbated? A stitch in time saves nine.

As far as the rotation is concerned, we might be ok. Gee, Thor, Matz…we’ve got pieces. I’m not saying this doesn’t suck, cuz it totally sucks, but looking at it through the dough-eyed lens of Spring: the rotation is the one area where we have the depth to afford an injury.  

Zack Wheeler’s MRI Results Withheld from Public

It’s amazing how much Metsblow writes itself. Every damn day there’s another mummer’s farce; some new way that the organization trips over itself. “We have the results of Wheeler’s MRI. But oh, we can’t read the results! It’s written in some kind of Sanskrit Pig Latin! Oh well, no biggie. It’s of no concern. Wheeler will be back tomorrow. So will Jose Reyes.” 

Black Had an MRI on His Shoulder but Don’t Worry! It’s Totally OK!

Vic Black underwent an MRI on his throwing shoulder, the team said.

Sandy Alderson said it was a precautionary scan and Black’s issue is likely shoulder tendinitis.

The MRI showed no structural damage. The Mets are calling it shoulder weakness and Black is listed as day-to-day.

Where have I heard this all before? Hmmmm, oh yeah! David Wright! Captain America! They said he was having shoulder weakness! No big deal! Except that he only hit 8 home runs and had his worst season ever last year, playing with a bad shoulder injury for practically the entire time.

And oh yeah, with Jose Reyes! They said no problem, just day-to-day!

Hey, didn’t I write about Reyes yesterday!? Oh yeah! I did! In regards to the Mets saying Josh Edgin was totally fine and day-to-day! No big deal, except that he’s probably going to have TJ surgery and miss the entire season.

ALL ABOARD THE INJURY EXPRESS! The 7 Train! Straight from Shea Shittyfield to Dr. James Andrews’ beach paradise & rehab facility.

I know everyone gets injured and that’s just sports, but do the Mets get injured more? Maybe. Does the Mets Media lie about it more? Yes. Do the Wilpons skimp on medicine and care costs? Yes.

P.S. I think Shittyfield is a gorgeous park. The only things shitty about it are the name (didn’t we bail your fuckin asses out?) and the team playing on it.

Lefty Relievers? Naaaahhhh

“Ow, my elbow.” -Edgin

“We may start the season without a lefty reliever.” -Collins

“I wasn’t prepared to give any left relievers a major league contract this offseason.” -Alderson

Awesome job everybody! Way to tout our pitching (bullpen included) for the past 6 months! Way to leave a crucial element all on one guy’s elbow! I know Edgin has been great, but have a fucking insurance plan. Now we stand to lose Gee, Colon, or BOTH in a “we know you’re desperate so here take this shitty lefty” trade.

P.S. LEARN YOUR LESSON! Sure things up at SS and C. Even if Flores and d’Arnaud are both great, we still need depth goddammit! Hell, sure up 3B while you’re at it. And don’t tell me Brittlebones Cuddyer is the backup third baseman.

New Book About Sandy Alderson Reveals *GASP!* That The Wilpons Are Cheap Fucks

There is a new book coming out called: “Baseball Maverick: How Sandy Alderson Revolutionized Baseball and Revived the Mets.”

First off, the Mets haven’t been revived.

Second, Alderson claims that in his job interview, Madoff wasn’t brought up. Well, that’s kind of an oversight, don’t you think? Actually, never mind, it’s not. The Wilpons would’ve just lied to your face and said it’s a non-issue.

The circus continues. It’s an all-Jew circus, so no pigs, please. Elephants are fine, seeing as how Sandy, Jeff, and Fred left a big one in the room during Sandy’s job interview.

Also in the book, Alderson claims that the money has stopped him every time he has tried to make a big move. No shit. He also claims the money problems were bigger than he anticipated. NO FUCKING SHIT! Jewness is a sickness; a disease. So long as the Wilpons are owners, there will ALWAYS BE MONEY PROBLEMS. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems, but in the Wilpons’ case it doesn’t matter because they will always claim to be victims and to be short on cash. They’re the classic woe-is-me billionaire. We’ve seen this before. They take no personal accountability. They have billions and they’re just to cheap to spend any of it. It’s not the Madoff thing. It’s the Wilpon thing.

Josh Edgin Just Needs Rest; So Does Jose Reyes

The Mets are reporting that Josh Edgin, after he ripped his elbow up, just needs rest.

In 2009, the Mets said that Jose Reyes just needed rest. They reported that he would be “back in the lineup tomorrow.” Then it was two days. Then it was three days. Reyes ended up playing in 36 games that season.

Reminder: It’s Only Spring Training

I love how when the Mets do something good (like Matt Harvey dominating), it’s MORE than just the usual Spring Training. Oh, this year is special! Oh, this isn’t the usual club atmosphere!

And when the Mets do something not so good (like Matt Harvey pitching alright), it’s okay because it’s only Spring Training.

The media spins things round and round to make sure they can maximize ticket sales and jersey sales and Soupy Sales and sales in general.

The truth is: it’s only Spring Training. No matter how good or bad anyone looks, Spring Training is irrelevant and always will be. It’s nice to see Harvey on the mound. It’s nice to see Wright at 3rd. It’s nice to see baseball.

The Mets’ Lone Bright Spot — The Booth — Adds Cliff Floyd

Cliff Floyd is doing a great job in the booth with Gary, Keith, and Ron.

Not only is Cliff Floyd a world champion (’97 Marlins), but he also played on the Mets ’06 team.

So we added another world champion to the booth! And we’ve got some totally rad and family-friendly concerts lined up for the summer! Great job, Mets!

…Can we think about that ’06 team for just a second? Cliff Floyd hit at the bottom of the fucking lineup. All-star, world champion Cliff Floyd! Batting 6th, or even 7th!? Meanwhile our 3rd, 4th, and 5th hitters (Wright, Delgado, Beltran) had over 100 dingers (105) and well over 300 RBI (346!) between the three of them.

This isn’t fucking rocket science! You have to score runs to win baseball games! The Mets won 97 games in ’06 for a reason. They had talent. Cliff Floyd, at age 42 and in the damn booth, would probably bat cleanup for today’s lineup. Good job, Wilpons.