Month: March 2015

Lefty Relievers? Naaaahhhh

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“Ow, my elbow.” -Edgin

“We may start the season without a lefty reliever.” -Collins

“I wasn’t prepared to give any left relievers a major league contract this offseason.” -Alderson

Awesome job everybody! Way to tout our pitching (bullpen included) for the past 6 months! Way to leave a crucial element all on one guy’s elbow! I know Edgin has been great, but have a fucking insurance plan. Now we stand to lose Gee, Colon, or BOTH in a “we know you’re desperate so here take this shitty lefty” trade.

P.S. LEARN YOUR LESSON! Sure things up at SS and C. Even if Flores and d’Arnaud are both great, we still need depth goddammit! Hell, sure up 3B while you’re at it. And don’t tell me Brittlebones Cuddyer is the backup third baseman.

New Book About Sandy Alderson Reveals *GASP!* That The Wilpons Are Cheap Fucks

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There is a new book coming out called: “Baseball Maverick: How Sandy Alderson Revolutionized Baseball and Revived the Mets.”

First off, the Mets haven’t been revived.

Second, Alderson claims that in his job interview, Madoff wasn’t brought up. Well, that’s kind of an oversight, don’t you think? Actually, never mind, it’s not. The Wilpons would’ve just lied to your face and said it’s a non-issue.

The circus continues. It’s an all-Jew circus, so no pigs, please. Elephants are fine, seeing as how Sandy, Jeff, and Fred left a big one in the room during Sandy’s job interview.

Also in the book, Alderson claims that the money has stopped him every time he has tried to make a big move. No shit. He also claims the money problems were bigger than he anticipated. NO FUCKING SHIT! Jewness is a sickness; a disease. So long as the Wilpons are owners, there will ALWAYS BE MONEY PROBLEMS. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems, but in the Wilpons’ case it doesn’t matter because they will always claim to be victims and to be short on cash. They’re the classic woe-is-me billionaire. We’ve seen this before. They take no personal accountability. They have billions and they’re just to cheap to spend any of it. It’s not the Madoff thing. It’s the Wilpon thing.

Josh Edgin Just Needs Rest; So Does Jose Reyes

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The Mets are reporting that Josh Edgin, after he ripped his elbow up, just needs rest.

In 2009, the Mets said that Jose Reyes just needed rest. They reported that he would be “back in the lineup tomorrow.” Then it was two days. Then it was three days. Reyes ended up playing in 36 games that season.

Reminder: It’s Only Spring Training

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I love how when the Mets do something good (like Matt Harvey dominating), it’s MORE than just the usual Spring Training. Oh, this year is special! Oh, this isn’t the usual club atmosphere!

And when the Mets do something not so good (like Matt Harvey pitching alright), it’s okay because it’s only Spring Training.

The media spins things round and round to make sure they can maximize ticket sales and jersey sales and Soupy Sales and sales in general.

The truth is: it’s only Spring Training. No matter how good or bad anyone looks, Spring Training is irrelevant and always will be. It’s nice to see Harvey on the mound. It’s nice to see Wright at 3rd. It’s nice to see baseball.

The Mets’ Lone Bright Spot — The Booth — Adds Cliff Floyd

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Cliff Floyd is doing a great job in the booth with Gary, Keith, and Ron.

Not only is Cliff Floyd a world champion (’97 Marlins), but he also played on the Mets ’06 team.

So we added another world champion to the booth! And we’ve got some totally rad and family-friendly concerts lined up for the summer! Great job, Mets!

…Can we think about that ’06 team for just a second? Cliff Floyd hit at the bottom of the fucking lineup. All-star, world champion Cliff Floyd! Batting 6th, or even 7th!? Meanwhile our 3rd, 4th, and 5th hitters (Wright, Delgado, Beltran) had over 100 dingers (105) and well over 300 RBI (346!) between the three of them.

This isn’t fucking rocket science! You have to score runs to win baseball games! The Mets won 97 games in ’06 for a reason. They had talent. Cliff Floyd, at age 42 and in the damn booth, would probably bat cleanup for today’s lineup. Good job, Wilpons.

Why Aren’t We Hearing About Lucas Duda?

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Talk about burying the lede…Mets’ official blogs (Metsblog, ESPN NY Mets, etc…all the ones that are paid off by the Wilpons to be subservient, good little media lackeys) are NOT ALLOWED to talk about Lucas Duda.

Well, they are allowed to talk about him a little bit. They’re allowed to talk about the positive things, like how he’s really slugging the ball off the batting tee.

They’re not allowed to talk about Duda beyond a certain character length (probably the length of a tweet), and they’re not allowed to use certain words such as “setback” and “problematic.”

Way to try and hide this one, Mets. But here at Metsblow we know better. I desperately hope Duda gets healthy, but the Mets will spend the money to cover up the injury rather than on a doctor that can help.

Happy Get Nervous As Fuck Day!

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Matt Harvey will start for the Mets on SNY today at 1 pm ET as his team faces the Tigers at Tradition Field. It will be Harvey’s first start in a game since undergoing Tommy John surgery in October of 2013.

How nervous am I? Very. VERY VERY. This is what it will be for the whole season. Any enjoyment will be mitigated by paranoia. For every pitch, I will be on pins and needles. All Mets fans will be. It’s going to be excruciating. But this is the crucible we must go through. Harvey needs to prove it. He needs to be the Ace and Cy Young winner and the Dark Knight. He needs to establish dominance. We won’t be satisfied until we reach the promised land. He has to stay healthy and prove that we’re a playoff team this year, and then we make the necessary tweaks and go all the way next year. That’s blind faith for ya.

I was at Citifield for the Harvey-Strasburg game in 2013. What a glorious win that was. Let’s see it in the playoffs. Happy Harvey Day. Metsblow.

Lucas Duda Returns to Teeball Activities

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Lucas Duda hit off a batting tee Wednesday. It was the first time he’s swung a bat since straining a muscle between his ribs in mid-February.

And he’s crushing the ball, too. Duda is playing a game for 3-year-olds like he’s fucking 5. Absolutely demolishing the ball off the tee. He might want to consider a career playing MLT. Metsblow.