Braves 6, Mets 3
Oh sweet baby praise the Gods of Nattitude!! NATTITUUUUUDE!!
Mets are triiippppiiiinnng. Backdoor entrance, anyone? Wow, Nattitude. Nattitude saves the season.
Our 4 aces are going in Cincinnati. Can we win some fucking games please?
I’m not even going to post yesterday’s score.
The Mets need to take a page out of the late great Yogi Berra’s book. Named after a famous bear, Yogi said, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.” Wake up, fucktards. Losing to the Braves at home? Really? They’re soooo sweepable. Take some advice from one of the greatest, winningest athletes of all time.
Vets gotta step up. Big Sexy Bartolo Colon tonight. Gotta win this game. If we lose this game, I don’t even want to make the playoffs.
Mets 4, Braves 0
Niese for six, then Reed, Clippard, and Familia to finish it out. That’s a winning formula. That’s good enough. Niese can shut the anemic Braves down. Freeman ain’t so great against lefties, and Niese got him with the bases juiced in the 3rd. That was enough.
But the Mets BLOOOOOW. Murphy’s baserunning BLOOOOWWWS. And his fielding BLOOOOWWSS. Can he just DH and then someone can pinch run for him? Holy fucking hell, his mental mistakes on the basepaths are legendary.
The Mets failed to get Yoenis in from 2nd on multiple occasions. Leadoff doubles be damned, why bother with insurance runs? Play a little bit of small ball, one time. Some situational hitting would be nice. Statistically, the difference in winning percentage when your team is leading by 5 runs instead of 4 is staggering. Granted, both games are likely Ws, but when even a grand slam can’t tie it up, the game is really locked up. Not that anything is over when it comes to the Mets. I didn’t hear no fat lady. But the Mets could’ve easily had a few more runs that game.
Fuck it. The Mets should’ve had 10 runs that game. Shutout hooray, but that should’ve been a blowout. Magic number is now 7. Gotta sweep the Braves at home. They blow so hard.
Yankees 11, Mets 2
Primetime, nationally televised game? Check. Against the Yankees? Check. High stakes? Check. Total meltdown collapse comedy of errors? Check.
The Mets love it. The subway series is always the same script. If we’re contending, it’s a meltdown. If we’re playing for nothing, we make it out World Series and beat them like it matters. Remember Matt Franco off of Mo? Hooorrrraaaay Mets and then the Yankees win 3 chips in a row hoo-fucking-ray.
Just clinch. Back to doodoo teams. Back to NL Least.
Yankees 5, Mets 0
Getting shut out at home blows. Getting shut out at home by a guy whose shoulder is falling off is even worse. How much cheating can the Yankees muster? How are their pitchers–who with any other team would’ve gotten TJ or shoulder surgery, respectively–throwing so well? I hope it burns them so badly. I hope young Pineda and his pine tar filled neck is done at 28. I hope they’re all done. Any other team would be mismanaging these arms, but with the Yankees it’s somehow different. It’s somehow ok because they have magic cheating juice.
Anyway, we got shut out. So there’s not much to say about it. That’s on us. Getting shut out at home is pathetic.
Message to Thor: You can’t throw a 99mph heater past major leaguers like Beltran. You can’t do that 0-2. You have great stuff, but it’s not enough in the Show. Mix it up out there.
Rubber game tonight on another game that won’t be broadcasted by SNY. The FOX announcers were absolutely dogshit yesterday. They said everything you’re legally allowed to say on TV without being branded a full blown racist about Cespedes and his “antics.” They said that CC is having a good year. Ummm…he’s the worst pitcher in the league, maybe? Harvey (for what, 4 innings?) vs CC is our game to win. Wright should feast on him. Everyone should. Then we can have all the Yankee fans change their shirts and call themselves Mets fans the rest of the way through.
Cespedes says that he’ll take a 6 year deal. By putting that number on the board, Cespedes is openly stating, “I’ll stay if they’ll have me.” Holy balls he’s begging us to sign him. No 7yr deals is Alderson’s THING.
If the Jewpons can’t offer the best player in franchise history a legitimate 6 year deal ($175m), then you have to sell the team. He wants to be here. Just give him what he wants.
Are the Dodgers or Yankees going to offer him something ridiculous like 6 years/$200m? Can’t be. That’s nuts. But why not? We’re talking about a legend here. The Mets have to give him enough. If the Mets let him go, Metsblow will make the Jewpons pay with fire and blood. Either way, I’m getting his jersey.
I don’t think we’re gonna sign Cespedes. I think we’re sooo alllllll in this year. When have we ever made these kind of moves? We usually just let the bullpen tank to shit. This year we got Clippard AND Reed? I don’t think we should get used to it.
P.S. The racist FOX broadcasters are talking about Yoenis’s yellow sleeve and the UNIFORM CODE. This is like when Boston said he was a bad teammate because he didn’t take bp before games. Ummmm, I think he knows what he’s doing. Ummmm, I think NOBODY ON THE METS GIVES A SHIT. I certainly don’t. Because we’re not all evil bigots in NYC. It’s called Superstar License, you freakin’ morons. Let the master use his methods.
Mets 5, Yankees 1
Is Matz the best of all our young guns? Should he start in the playoffs? He fuckin battled out there. Got the W. Tanaka got the L. Fuck yeah. Fuck Tanaka and his elbow that dangles like the Sword of Damocles.
Some big dingers from Duda, Murph, and Uribe was all the offense we needed. It’d be sooo great if Duda got hot please please please.
Can Dilson Herrera play SS? Don’t get me wrong, I like Wilmer, especially batting 8th. That’s a potent lineup. And with our flamethrowing pitchers racking up Ks, it shouldn’t be that shitty to have him at SS, but I’d really prefer Flores at 2B and a real SS at SS. I thought Dilson had all the tools. I guess you put in Tejada late in the game. Flores made one nice play, and a bunch of shitty ones. SS is just too damn important.
Unfortunately, today’s game is on FOX, so no GKR. Can we get them to do an unsanctioned podcast for the playoffs or something? The Yankees really want these games. They lined up Tanaka and Pineda to face us. Fuck ’em.
Just two things:
1) Take back the city? Fuck that. Fuck the bandwagoners. Oooh, you root for both NY teams? Oh, you’re just a fan of New York? In the words of Leo Dicaprio, you’re a “two-faced faggot.” I’m glad that the Mets are getting lots of attention. They deserve it. Cespedes deserves it. Let’s win the fucking division. But I don’t want to hear shit about “the city” and whatnot. The Mets have a job to do this weekend, and that’s win baseball games against a good team. Yankee fans suck ass. It couldn’t be more of a microcosm of the personality of a Yankee fan that when the Mets do well, they’re Mets fans, too. Whatever. Root for us. Fine. If it means more dollars that the Jewpons will have to get Cespedes, then I’m all for it.
2) I like Matz and Thor a lot. They oppose Tanaka and Pineda. Both Tanaka and Pineda shouldn’t be pitching. They’re both cheaters with magical arms that have somehow not fallen off, yet. It makes no sense. Any pitcher on any other team would need TJ by now. I don’t get it. And by, “I don’t get it,” I mean I totally DO get it and it’s that the Gods are on their side and they cheat and roid up big time and have magical healing powers. Every coin flip always lands up for the Yankees. And by coin flip, I mean they cheat at every turn. The Yankees are the Patriots. Hell, their names are even similarly jingoistic. New Yorkers should understand that by now.
Marlins 6, Mets 0
Magic Number stalled at 10.
I get bombarded with commercials for playoff tickets every 10 minutes.
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.
WE HAVEN’T CLINCHED SHIT.
WE HAVEN’T WON SHIT.
Take the day off. Shower it off. Even great offensive teams get shut out. The Blue Jays lost to the Braves. The Marlins are always GAME for the Mets. They always treat these series as their World Series, since they have nothing else to play for. Good for them. They spoiled the party. But it’s not 2007 or 2008. They didn’t eliminate us. We’re still in the driver’s seat. Shake it off. Get ready for the Yankees. Our elite pitching should carry us through, but you gotta score more than zero runs.
Stop advertising for fucking playoff shit.
Marlins 9, Mets 3
deGrom got rocked. Cespedes got beaned (in the butt). The Nationals won. Not good not good not good. But let’s remember that it’s now giving season. So let’s give.
GIVE: deGrom some fucking rest. Rest that arm. Rest, rest, rest. He shut the Nats down. Don’t worry too much. Just rest him.
GIVE: Cespedes infinity dollars. That’s his worth. Attendance (both at the stadium and on TV) is up a bazillion percent. So are t-shirt sales. So is everything Mets-related. If the Mets don’t sign him, they not only don’t care about winning, but they don’t care about making money, either. These players are commodities, and Cespedes getting a $175mil contract will net billions for the Jewpons. I went to Stuy. I’m a mathemagician. He’s worth a billion dollars. If the Mets don’t sign him, we will spend much of the 2016 season watching Cespedes (and Michael Fulmer) tear up the league while we fall back to being a .500 or worse team.
GIVE: The pink slip to anyone who was in the war room voting against Cespedes. Apparently Alderson wanted him all the way (which makes sense since Billy Beane was Cespedes’ first MLB GM). But also apparently, some dudes tried to vote it down. Fire them all. Tiz the season for giving pink slips, too.
GIVE: All your attention, love, and prayers to the Mets. Ignore your friends and families completely (unless they’re also Mets fans) because now is the time. Ignore all Gods but the Baseball Gods, for the Baseball Gods are Mighty, Wrathful, and Angry. Pray to them. Pray, pray, pray. Give all your prayers to them. Now is the time.
MetsBlow 