Mets 5, Brewers 1
Mets win the series against the shit Brewers. Whoopdee fuckin doo. Whooooo cares…
Make a move. Stop acting like this means we’re good. Thor rules. Love him. So trade Gee. Get Victorino for him or something. Get someone who bats above .100, which we don’t have on our bench.
Brewers 7, Mets 0
Put the season to bed. It’s all over people! We don’t have a prayer!
Guys, we made it to Mid-May. Not bad. Close to the Wilpons’ ultimate goal of meaningful games in September.
How many games have we won when our SP didn’t have a quality start? I think zero. I’m not joking. It’s zero.
Kyle Losche has let up at least 1 dinger in all of his starts this season. Oooooh what a perfect opportunity for him to break that streak. Shittifield: Where opposing over-the-hill pitchers come for their renaissance.
It’s just not fair. Colon was doing his thing, Flores makes an error, and boom it’s 3-0. Stop me if this sounds familiar. Grandy misplays a ball, and boom it’s 5-0. And you KNOW it’s over. Completely lifeless. It’s just not fair to our pitching. The game is over before it starts. We have the best pitching in the league and our team can win 90 games but it has NO OFFENSIVE DEPTH. Wright and d’Arnaud gone means we go from 90 wins to 70 wins.
Considering tonight, a move has to be made. Wipe the entire farm system for Correa. Just do it. Franchise player. Do it.
P.S. Herrera to the DL!! The thing is, the Mets should be accounting for this. Most teams can’t assume that you’ll lead the league in injuries. The Mets can, though, because they always do. They have the worst medical staff in the league thanks to the Jewpons and they have no idea how to condition. Bring out the tarp, cover the field, and put the season to bed. Metsblow.
These fucking mooks! This fucking team! Doooodooooo! Boo-urns! Boo-urns!
Who was it? Ricky Bones? Wow. Herrera a late scratch today. Wow. Amazin’!
…I guess that means Tejada is starting! Hoooooooraaaaay!
I bet Dilson’s out for at least 3 months.
After getting their shit pushed in by the Cubs at Wrigley, the Mets return home to face the doo doo Brew Crew, who have the worst record in baseball.
Bartolo Colon will face Kyle Lohse, who has an ERA over 7.
Bartolo Colon apparently likes to be called “Pancho,” after his pet burro. Growing up, Pancho was the hardest-working on animal on Colon’s family farm.
Good luck, Tolo. Keep pitching this way and you’ll be on a good team in no time! I really don’t want to see you go, but getting major league ready, twenty-something-year-old hitters in a deal for you has to be explored. The reason it has to be explored is because, unlike the Cubs who solved their pitching problems by signing Lester, the Jewpons will NEVER make a free agent signing like that. We’ve made a hard pass on Cruz twice now! We completely dismissed Hanley. We’re simply a small market team in the biggest city in the nation. Metsblow.
Cubs 6, Mets 5
Two homers for Recker!
A homer for Flores!
…and game-losing errors for both of them.
Oh, scratch that, no error for Recker…just the tie-breaking, game-losing passed ball. What a fuckhead.
Try and factor that into your WAR. The Mets don’t have anyone. Flores is perhaps their 2nd best hitter, but he can’t field. We just don’t have ANYONE doing things right.
If you’re gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right.
P.S. Sandy is warming up Terry’s seat. Mercury rising. Little known fact about that movie: The spaz boy that Bruce Willis is rescuing grew up to be Matt Cerrone.
The Cubs came into this series with something to prove–that THEY were worthy of a WC this year. They have shown that the Mets are completely inept, and that the Cubs are the only team worthy of being called, “the team that sucked ass last year but is serious this year.”
Jon “Been Fuckin Awesome This Year” Niese will face a lefty with a 5 ERA today, and the Mets will lose.
Mayberry is batting 5th. Wow. Is Kirk in the lineup today? Collectively, they are K-May. When they bat, it May be a K!…or it May be a backwards K! The K-May kids!
With Mayberry, Recker, etc. in the lineup, we have conceded. The game is over. Metsblow.
Welp, Cerrone and Baron and all these other guys are re-tah-did. It is known. No wonder they got hired by the Mets.
The other night on MLB Network, Bengie Molina talked about the 2002 World Series winning Angels team. He gave an enormous load of credit to Jose Molina, the team’s backup catcher. He said that Jose was the key to the chip. Jose being there, working with the pitchers, being able to get pinch hits, and keep Bengie healthy the full season by being a strong backup that started 40+ games, etc. etc. depth depth depth.
I recently sat down with Michael Baron, Matt Cerrone, and Jeff Wilpon to discuss the lack of offensive depth.
Mr. Metsblow: Hello, first of all: Fuck you.
Matt Cerrone: The Mets are looking great this year! *Checks bank statement on his iPhone*
Michael Baron: I’m excited for meaningful games in September.
Jeff Wilpon: Jeffy want baba!
MM: Do you know what depth is?
JW: Subamaween! Subamaween!
MB: What do you mean have a good player sit on the bench? They’ll rot! They need their reps!
MM: You know, guys, kinda like the 6th man in the NBA?
MB: Whoa whoa whoa, one sport at a time.
JW: Daddy just got off the phone with Mistaw Dolan! Mistaw Dolan say we’re doing just fine!
Metsblow.
Cubs 2, Mets 1
I just can’t watch this lineup. I just CAN’T WATCH THIS LINEUP.
This was a game that a MEDICORE lineup wins 5-0 or 5-2 or so. We had PLENTY of opportunities. We had a runner on 3rd with less than 2 outs and didn’t get it done multiple times. We had failed bunts. We are the worst offense I’ve seen since last year’s team.
The only silver lining is that this HAS to be a wake-up call. The Wilpons will never sell the team–baby Jeffy ain’t sharing his toys–but they have to make a move now. You can’t burn your new star in his ML debut by giving him no run support, then go back out the next night and burn your young ace with an even more inept loss. Harvey threw 7 shutout innings and we ended up losing the game 2-1. It just can’t happen. Sandy knows as well as anybody that Harvey stayed up all night going, “3 more years till Yankees…3 more years till Yankees…”
Also, EXACTLY as Metsblow has predicted: By the time Wright gets back (if he ever does), there will be a MINIMUM of two starters on the DL. These two are likely to be Lagares and d’Arnaud. D-Wright should return just in time to have an opportunity to play hero, overextend himself, and land back on the DL.
It appears that Lagares will not head to the DL for now, so rest assured he’ll be playing injured for a week, he’ll tear his pectorals even worse (aka the ripped titty), and go on the DL for an even longer stretch than originally necessary.
Matt Cerrone, the spaz in charge of Metsblog, wrote that, “it’s hard to ignore the impact of missing Juan Lagares…” You fucking spaz! He’s been out for two days! Our lineup has been getting mowed the fuck down all season. Wake up. “Ooooh, when we get Lagares back, we’re gonna be a FORCE!”
The Mets will look to move Tolo. I will be sad, but if we pull Soler for him or something nuts like that, it’s a must-do. We need to do something. We have to fix this now.
Buddy Carlyle to the DL. It matters.
Our bullpen has been elite, but that’s another fucking injury.
We have the most injuries and each one is to a critical piece of our crumbling pie.
We get injured the most because of the Wilpons Jewing out on both health facilities and a training staff that can keep the team on the field. The Mets can’t even stay on the field with Baby Jeffy threatening the players like he did with Pedro.
It will take an extra day to replace him since our AAA team is in Vegas. It’s because of the distance, and also probably because they have to pry the guy away from the tables.
The reason we have the Area 51s is because they were the cheapest team available. Jews doing Jew things, as always.
Lagares in the lineup? Nope.
Mets gonna give Harvey run support? Nope.
Mets fun to watch? Nope.
Metsblow? Yup.
MetsBlow 