After getting their shit pushed in by the Cubs at Wrigley, the Mets return home to face the doo doo Brew Crew, who have the worst record in baseball.

Bartolo Colon will face Kyle Lohse, who has an ERA over 7.

Bartolo Colon apparently likes to be called “Pancho,” after his pet burro. Growing up, Pancho was the hardest-working on animal on Colon’s family farm.

Good luck, Tolo. Keep pitching this way and you’ll be on a good team in no time! I really don’t want to see you go, but getting major league ready, twenty-something-year-old hitters in a deal for you has to be explored. The reason it has to be explored is because, unlike the Cubs who solved their pitching problems by signing Lester, the Jewpons will NEVER make a free agent signing like that. We’ve made a hard pass on Cruz twice now! We completely dismissed Hanley. We’re simply a small market team in the biggest city in the nation. Metsblow.