HYPE! HYPE! HYPE!

Thor strutting off the field after K'ing Harper with 99mph cheddar.
Thor strutting off the field after K’ing Harper with 99mph cheddar.

Mets 5, Nats 2

SWEEEEEEP!! Chooooooo. Hype! Hype! Hype! The city’s on fire with orange and blue. We’re actually doing it. The Mets blow, sure, but the Nats blow harder. The NL is weak as shit, and the Mets could very well be the best team. Don’t sleep on the champion Giants. The Cards are always in it. But at least in our division, we have a shot to prove we’re the best.

Notes on ESPN: FUCK Y’ALL. Y’ALL SUUUUUCH. No Gary, Keith, and Ron is a huge loss already, but to be replaced with babbling idiots, a k-box, and horrible camera work is just annoying as fuck. SNY is a local crew, and they’re making the national “leader in sports” look like dogshit.

Notes on Thor: You’re the shit. K’ing Harper with your final pitch was an iconic image. A changing of the guards exemplified by that moment.

Notes on our staff: Elite. Clippard addition flew a bit under the radar (and rightfully so since we had dudes breaking down in tears on the field and the biggest impact bat signing of the deadline), but don’t forget he’s a fucking beast. I’ll take him and Familia over Storen and Pap any day.

Notes on the Nats: They’re diva bitches that haven’t won shit. Harper cries like a little girl (and not in the endearing Wilmer Flores way). Storen and Papelbon are feuding. Matt “I bite my shoulder when I bat” Williams sure ain’t no Davey Johnson. They blow. Fuck ’em. They haven’t won shit. LOSERS. They’re Team Hubris. Why don’t ya shut down Scherzer in September? I think he’s approaching his innings limit. (Sidenote: if the Mets do that with anyone, I’ll go fucking nuts. ALL IN. Cespedes ain’t guaranteed to be here long).

Notes on our offense: You know what to do. You just have to be mediocre. Metsblow nation has been saying it all year. If we can score 4 or 5 instead of 0 or 1 (we have scored 0 or 1 more than any other team this year), then we are the best team in baseball. Just pull your weight. I believe we can. Having Jelly the left-handed hitter come up for Flores (or vice versa) late in games when the opponent makes a pitching change is big. The weight off of Duda and the protection he now has is huge. DEPTH! Let’s go, boys. Pull your weight.

Notes on Cespedes: Congrats on your first hit as a Met. It is a joy to watch you. You’re an actual ballplayer. We haven’t had that since Reyes + Beltran, or since Wright got beaned. Cespedes hits line drives, runs the bases well, has a cannon arm, is a + on defense, hits for power, hits for average, hits it in the gaps, knows how to hit sac flies…it’s just amazing to watch real ballplayers play.

Notes on 1st place: It’s a mummer’s 1st place. Nats have played fewer games. They technically still control their fate. But let’s enjoy the sweep. The NL Least must be destroyed, starting today in Miami. We have to beat them the fuck up–road or home is irrelevant. Miami is doooogshit. We won’t see Fernandez. Latos is gone. Stanton’s still injured. They’re playing worse than the Phillies right now.

I love that the Mets came out of the whirlwind (and what a whirlwind!) better than ever. I can’t believe it. I thought the Padres series would do them in, but they–the team, the front office, the fans–have all rallied. Good teams don’t let 1 game matter. Every series is now a test. It’s a pennant race. It’s official. Let’s go. Short memory every day. Move forward with a must-win mentality every day. GET HYPED while you still have the chance, because the Jewpons are sure to steal this away from us somehow.

Biggest Game of the Season

1st place on the line...
1st place on the line…

Mets 3, Nats 2

So that was last night. Nothing to say, really. Same ol’ Mets? Sort of. Duda has protection now!! And he used it to his advantage!! 2 dingers yesterday. 3 RBI. He has 8 dingers in his last 7 games. I think the weight is off of his shoulders a bit and that’s beautiful.

Tonight we take center stage. We love collapsing during the nationally televised games. This is a big test for Thor, Cespedes, and the whole damn team. Zimmerman usually mows us the fuck down, but so did everyone else. It’s a new damn day…or is it? We could be tied for 1st place by night’s end, or 2 games back. Huge. SO HUGE. A sweep would be tremendous. It would really say a lot. The fact that we took the first two is big already, but a sweep against the current division leader would do wonders for us.

It’s Scripted…So Damn Scripted

Bathing in gatorade is better than bathing in your own tears.
Bathing in gatorade is better than bathing in your own tears.

Mets 2, Nats 1 (F/12)

Wilmer Flores not only played good defense and had the Mets’ first RBI, but he also lead off the bottom of the 12th with a walk-off dinger. Unreal. The crowd went ballistic for him, which is great. He was treated like shit by this organization (duhh) and the fans know it. I liked what the fans did and loved what Flores did.

Meanwhile Harvey (who was left in too long) let up 1 run and didn’t get the win. SHOCKING. Well, no more excuses, since this was the last game without Cespedes.

Lost in the mix: Robles’ amazing play and overall perfect inning. Same for Familia. Clippard got the job done in the 8th but walked a couple in the 9th. Learn when to yank, Terry! Terry’s hook is always misplaced.

Can we get some offense? Can we score runs for deGrom today? Enter Cespedes.

A Cespedes for the Rest of Us

Yoenis Cespedes
Yoenis Cespedes

Craziest 48 hours in franchise history.

The Cubano has come.

The impact bat has come.

Hats off to Maverick. Giving up Fulmer and Cessa was big, but Cespedes is the man. It’s a great move. The Mets are the big winners of the deadline. I’d say the Astros were, but they’re not because of Gomez’s balky hip, of course.

Of course, I won’t believe it until Cespedes is in a Mets uniform.

I won’t complain. I won’t be out. But…now we gotta win this series. WE MUST. We’ve gotta show Cespedes that he’s on the right team. We have to make a real run.

Happy #HarveyDay

This picture would be perfect if there was rain.
This picture would be perfect if there was rain.

Harvey vs Gio tonight. We’re 3 games back. We can be tied for the division lead by the end of Sunday. HA! Haha haw haw haw haw.

The Mets are “talking with the Reds about Jay Bruce.” They’re mainly talking about how Bruce has hip issues. Also, the Mets want a reliever thrown in. Someone like Aroldis Chapman. No, wait, not Chapman. He has shoulder problems. His velocity is down to 103.

Happy #HarveyDay everyone!

I’m Done (Part 2)

Padres 8, Mets 7

Hey, let’s all get hyped up for the Nats! We got Gomez! Just gotta brush aside the Padres aaaaand…

Nope to both.

Legitimately the cruelest 24 hours in Mets history.

The Wilpons won’t be punished because the rich elites of the world live by different rules. The Jew fucking snake liars! Laughing and lying! Gomez went to the Astros. He’s completely fine. It’s all financial issues. Until they sell the team, I’m done.

And don’t get me started on the umpires cheating. They cheated. They stole that win from us. Calling a delay with 1 out left (and a strike on the hitter!) is the biggest load of horseshit I’ve ever seen since I saw the Mets talking about Gomez’s health report.

I’m done. I can’t talk about it anymore.

The Mets have until 4pm to get Jay Bruce or something or I’m done and we should all be done. We must boycott. We must kill baby Jeffy. We must do something. 

Colon Down? Gee Up?

We all love Big Sexy but lost in today’s whirlwind is the fact that Colon has been ineffective for two months. He hasn’t had a win since June 12, and frankly, I think it’s time to give Gee the nod on the next go-around.

Good thing we still have all 5 aces for next year! Oh, wait, Wheeler’s dead.

Mets Lose Game, Ace, and…HOLD THE PHONE!!

There's no crying in baseball!
There’s no crying in baseball!

Padres 7, Mets 3

Duda hit 3 solo dingers today. He only needed 5 more for the win!

Jesus fucking Christ what a whirlwind for Flores. My photo/caption is a little harsh, but I couldn’t resist quoting the great Jimmy Dugan (“avoid the clap”). The truth is that Flores is a gutsy player and we are all sad to see him go and the team handled that like shit–they were both unsympathetic and stupid for risking an injury–and we hope he does well and blah blah blah but the homecoming for Carlos Gomez is HUGE and…

NEVER FUCKING MIND!! Wheeler must have failed the physical. I guess he’s deeeeead.

It was a real win-win trade, too. The Mets would get Gomez, shut down Lagares, and by the time Lagares was healthy again, Gomez would be finishing up a contract year and we would get a 1st round pick for him (as long as we didn’t end up botching the qualifying offer). Also, by the time Wheeler will be healthy, we’ll have Fulmer up. It was looking good. Really good. Too good for this dogshit organization.

The Mets have ruined everything. Wheeler’s TJ was botched, most likely. Sandy should be humiliated. What a complete joke.

Maverick simply didn’t want Team Minaya back together. Change of heart what with Wheeler being his most prized possession.

TDA is supposedly coming back tomorrow. I wish we could say good riddance to Recker forever but knowing Travis, he’ll be on his 3rd injury by Sunday.

Most importantly: We’ve gotta win this series tomorrow. Let’s fucking go. Noon start. It’ll all be over soon.

Numb To It

I have become...comfortably numb.
I have become…comfortably numb.

Referring to Mejia’s suspension, manager Terry Collins said the Mets clubhouse was, at this point, “numb to it.” By “it,” he means, “bullshit that happens to our team.”

I couldn’t agree more. I’m numb to the bad breaks and the bullshit. I’m not numb to removing the Jewpons from office, but at this point it’s Murphy’s Law for Metsblow nation.

If we win this series and Nats series, then we’re good. If we lose, we’re bad. It’s that simple.

If Conforto gets hurt, I won’t be numb because he’s the savior. But I’m over everything else. I’m loooooong over losing Wright. He took fielding practice yesterday. La-dee-freakin-da.

There’s a 100% chance that Wheeler’s already missing at least half of next season. What’re the chances that Harvey, deGrom, Thor, and Matz all throw 30+ starts in 2016? 5%? 10% at most?

Numb.