Thor strutting off the field after K'ing Harper with 99mph cheddar.
Thor strutting off the field after K’ing Harper with 99mph cheddar.

Mets 5, Nats 2

SWEEEEEEP!! Chooooooo. Hype! Hype! Hype! The city’s on fire with orange and blue. We’re actually doing it. The Mets blow, sure, but the Nats blow harder. The NL is weak as shit, and the Mets could very well be the best team. Don’t sleep on the champion Giants. The Cards are always in it. But at least in our division, we have a shot to prove we’re the best.

Notes on ESPN: FUCK Y’ALL. Y’ALL SUUUUUCH. No Gary, Keith, and Ron is a huge loss already, but to be replaced with babbling idiots, a k-box, and horrible camera work is just annoying as fuck. SNY is a local crew, and they’re making the national “leader in sports” look like dogshit.

Notes on Thor: You’re the shit. K’ing Harper with your final pitch was an iconic image. A changing of the guards exemplified by that moment.

Notes on our staff: Elite. Clippard addition flew a bit under the radar (and rightfully so since we had dudes breaking down in tears on the field and the biggest impact bat signing of the deadline), but don’t forget he’s a fucking beast. I’ll take him and Familia over Storen and Pap any day.

Notes on the Nats: They’re diva bitches that haven’t won shit. Harper cries like a little girl (and not in the endearing Wilmer Flores way). Storen and Papelbon are feuding. Matt “I bite my shoulder when I bat” Williams sure ain’t no Davey Johnson. They blow. Fuck ’em. They haven’t won shit. LOSERS. They’re Team Hubris. Why don’t ya shut down Scherzer in September? I think he’s approaching his innings limit. (Sidenote: if the Mets do that with anyone, I’ll go fucking nuts. ALL IN. Cespedes ain’t guaranteed to be here long).

Notes on our offense: You know what to do. You just have to be mediocre. Metsblow nation has been saying it all year. If we can score 4 or 5 instead of 0 or 1 (we have scored 0 or 1 more than any other team this year), then we are the best team in baseball. Just pull your weight. I believe we can. Having Jelly the left-handed hitter come up for Flores (or vice versa) late in games when the opponent makes a pitching change is big. The weight off of Duda and the protection he now has is huge. DEPTH! Let’s go, boys. Pull your weight.

Notes on Cespedes: Congrats on your first hit as a Met. It is a joy to watch you. You’re an actual ballplayer. We haven’t had that since Reyes + Beltran, or since Wright got beaned. Cespedes hits line drives, runs the bases well, has a cannon arm, is a + on defense, hits for power, hits for average, hits it in the gaps, knows how to hit sac flies…it’s just amazing to watch real ballplayers play.

Notes on 1st place: It’s a mummer’s 1st place. Nats have played fewer games. They technically still control their fate. But let’s enjoy the sweep. The NL Least must be destroyed, starting today in Miami. We have to beat them the fuck up–road or home is irrelevant. Miami is doooogshit. We won’t see Fernandez. Latos is gone. Stanton’s still injured. They’re playing worse than the Phillies right now.

I love that the Mets came out of the whirlwind (and what a whirlwind!) better than ever. I can’t believe it. I thought the Padres series would do them in, but they–the team, the front office, the fans–have all rallied. Good teams don’t let 1 game matter. Every series is now a test. It’s a pennant race. It’s official. Let’s go. Short memory every day. Move forward with a must-win mentality every day. GET HYPED while you still have the chance, because the Jewpons are sure to steal this away from us somehow.

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