Can Cespedes DH?


So the DH is gay as shit. And you know this, maaaaan. Buuuut, we’ve got 5 AL games in a row. We’ve got a new OF in Bruce. De Aza is contributing to the de squad (championed by deGrom, of course), and Cespedes could use some rest but we desperately need him. I guess if he can’t run the bases, then it’s not worth it. See how he’s feeling. I wish there was no DH. I wish we didn’t have to talk about it. For fucks sake, I see GIRL pitchers taking their ABs. DH is some soft ass bullshit.

Fuck the Yankees. I still can’t believe we let them get 1 in Shitti. We looooove losing games in historically bad fashion. Even Niese couldn’t blow it last night, though.

Also, pay Yo. Sign him for 5 years right fucking now.

Is This Even Worth Reporting?

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Take a guess at what happened with the tying run on 3rd and 1 out. GUESS. Go on. Guess. Guess!

Mets BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. When Cespedes isn’t in the lineup, and especially with Verrett pitching (who pitched fine), it’s not worth watching. Start the boycott now. Pay Yo.

By the way, why didn’t Terry just bring in Reed at the start of the 8th? Oh, because he’s sore? So you didn’t want to use him? But you ended up using him anyway? And he blew a late lead? Does that sound FAMILIAr to you!?!?

Mets.com Reports “Mets Get Bruce For 2 Prospects”

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WOOOOOOW did y’all get hoodwinked!!

2 prospects? You mean 2 prospects including mediocre 1st round prospect Nimmo? OOOOOOH WAIT! Gotta love how they get the media to spin it. Every damn time.

The Reds bait & switched for Dilson and y’all took it!! FUCKING EGG ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACES YOU STUPID JEWS!! No cheese with those eggs.

Pray for Jay. He’s just what we need: an all or nothing type! We only have 12 of those on the team so far.

Dilson ain’t like the 2nd coming or anything. But he could’ve very well been the long term the solution at 2B. Walker is gonna walk after this season. Reyes to 2B? Flores? Real Grease Cecchini? What the fuck?

 

Mets Make a Deal for Bruce

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UPDATE: Deal is for Dilson! Dilson (and Wotell) not Nimmo. FUUUUUUCK. That’s SO MUCH MORE to give up. Dilson is a much better prospect than Nimmo. Mets BLOOOOOW. Also we apparently got Niese back haha.

Nimmo will be good, maybe? Nimmo and two low-level prospects for Jay Bruce. Welp, we’ve got a cleanup hitter now. We’ve got someone behind Yo. It’s good for now.

But this concerns me for the offseason. I see the Jew wheels of manipulation turning. We’re gonna let Yo walk and say that’ its ok because we have Bruce. The Piazza ceremony really showed how we never EVER have nice things. We gave Piazza 7 years and he deserved it and the returns are still glorious. He’s still helping the Jewpons rake it in. Pay Yo. He doesn’t need 10 years. Give him 5. Give him something. We’d be in last place without him. Pay him.

Desperate Fans Get Just A Taste

Fam looked rested and notched another save.

Who’s happy about Thor blowing maaaad leads? Bone spur alert! There was an unearned run there. 

Cabrera dead! Reyes dead! Wilmer can’t make the throw! Cecchini time! The Real Grease!

Mets fan will desperately cling to the narrative that Walker’s late HR  will propel us somehow. Uhhhh we lost 3 out of 4 to a better team. Better even though they’re under .500 because if you watch the fucking games, you can tell.

We’re dessimated. Pray for Yo. Pray for Wheeler as he faces batters tomorrow. Pray we get Beltran back before we have to face him. 

Quick Thoughts on Piazza


Hard to think too much about it what with Cespedes being dead, Cabrera being dead, and our prayers unanswered. But here are some quick thoughts:

~The Wilpons getting booed was the unequivocal highlight.

~Piazza was classy. Especially during his victory lap in the golf kart.

~For me, it was bittersweet when we signed Piazza because Hundley was my favorite player. I knew it was worth it, though.

~We didn’t stand a chance against the Braves and only got to the WS in 2000 thanks to the Cards bumping them off. We didn’t stand a chance against the Yankees, even without the rigging. Clemens should’ve been ejected.

~I was at game 5 in 2000. Even though Piazza flying out was a “lowlight” of sorts, he put a charge into it. He almost got to Mo there. It sucks that Piazza made the last out, but we never had a chance. He was great. Truly the best. That team overachieved and he was the star. 7 year contract for Cespedes. Yo! 

~The fans were great. We never have nice things!! Ever!! Piazza’s the first fucking Mets everyday player that has ever had his number retired! I’m glad we gave it the ceremony it deserved. 

~Piazza loves Jesus. The lesson is to pray. 

Each Game Is Worse Than the Last


If your name isn’t Yoenis, you’re not doing enough.

Fam was bound to blow one. We should’ve had at least 7 runs this game, though.

The Mets are amazing. Just when you think it can’t get worse, they go and lose this one. Verrett vs. fucking Wainwright and we could’ve had this one! A historic night of stranding runners in scoring position and an absolutely riveting comeback (thanks Yo) squandered away. Great for baseball. Terrible for the Mets. Terrible team. Teeeeeerrriiiible.

You Wanna Talk About Same Ol’ Mets?


Asdrubal got a hit with a runner in scoring position. Brand new Mets!

Otherwise…

~Reyes is dead. Same ol’ Mets. Maybe Flores gets some playing time? Derrrp Terry. 

~No run support for their ace(s). Same ol’ Mets. Managed to squeak out a win because our pitching is that nasty.

~Left a billion runners on. Same ol’ Mets.

So why the fuck was Reyes held? Reyes, who was on 1st before he died, was held at 3rd on a Cespedes (who else?!) double. Timmy! Timmaaaaayy! Send him you freakin’ mook. Two outs. We ain’t gettin another opportunity. And that was the game. 

We should’ve won both. Same ol’ Mets.

You know why the Cardinals are so good all the time? You know why they’re never out? Ownership. It’s not just the major league team. It’s the whole fucking organization. Fuck the Wilpons.