Remember When Montero was the Savior?

Rafael Montero after his start

Sure the turtle spells his name differently but whatever. Montero–who used to be praised for his accuracy–can’t find a donut at a police station. Also, Terry has a terrible hook. He has no feel. Keith was begging for the hook for about 5 batters before Terry finally left the dugout. Mets blow. That game was a nice reminder of who the class of this division really is. 

Who The Fuck Else?

Yo after his walkoff BOMB

I can’t believe it’s a “hot take” to scream and holler about paying Yo. Are you fucking kidding me, Jewpons? Do you not see Piazza jerseys everywhere? Do you not understand that competitive relevance and superstardom are your biggest moneymakers? Fuck you, you stupid Jews. Greedy Jews ain’t new but stupid Jews gives us a bad name you fucking retards.

Of course Yo did it. Who the fuck else would? Shoutout to Reyes for manufacturing the tying run in the 8th. Shoutout to Montero for returning from the dead and pitching 5 scoreless innings. In 2013, this guy had Harvey hype! And we haven’t even heard his name in over a year. Ahhh, Mets prospects. But hey, he came back from the dead. Impressive. Let’s see him do it again. 

Montero’s Dead

Montero is getting an MRI on his throwing (right) shoulder. Asst. GM John Ricco said it’s just precautionary.

He’s deeeeead! Oh, it’s ok, it’s just precautionary! He doesn’t have METS disease! It’s just precautionary! We’ve booked a trip to the morgue, just as a precaution. We’ve alerted his next of kin that they’re about to come into some money, just as a precaution. We’ve bought flowers, just as a precaution.

P.S. For the love of god, don’t send him to the team doctors!

P.P.S. I’d rather have dead Montero than Valverde. I can’t believe the Nats signed him. They’re panicking. I’m sure he’ll dominate our shitty lineup, but they’ve definitely hit the panic button.

Preblow: Mets Trying to Make Montero Look Like Shit With This Lineup

From Ninja Turtle to Mets pitcher...
From Ninja Turtle to Mets pitcher…

Rafael Montero–yes, I know it’s a different spelling than the ninja turtle–will be making a “spot” (re: audition) start for the Mets today and WHOA holy shit look at that lineup!

Are we completely phoning this one in? Tejada at SS, Recker at C, Kirk out in LF, and Campbell batting cleanup? Give Montero a freakin’ chance, at least!

For sucks sake, it’s time to promote Reynolds and Herrera. We can’t have lineups like this. We just can’t.

The Marlins starter, David Phelps, is only in because of Henderson Alvarez’s injury, so perhaps our quadruple-A lineup can do something against this quadruple-A pitcher.

Gee Officially Named 5th Starter

Dillon Gee will be the 5th starter. Raphael Montero, despite being lights out in his audition, will start the season in the bullpen (most likely). I assume he’ll be a long reliever, but hey, if Mejia and Familia can’t get it together, and Parnell remains injured, we might see Montero closing soon.

I like this. I like it a lot. You just don’t give the keys to the castle to a young bull. You have to make them claw for it. They have to pay their dues. Let’s see him dominate in relief. Our bullpen has been hurt badly by the losses of Edgin and Black (he’s day-to-day forever). Gee was the incumbent, and has looked sharp in Spring as well. Someone is bound to get hurt. Montero is the first guy there to make a spot start, or even fill in for a long time if someone gets severely hurt (day-to-day) or Gee or someone else gets traded or they want to limit Harvey’s innings, etc.

This is objectively the right move. Let’s make the kid work. It’s a team game, and Montero’s value is highest in the bullpen. He’s going to pitch. He’s going to get lots of opportunities to prove himself. Let’s see if he does.