Wow is Matz untradable. 5 aces. All untradable. As long as the pitchers keep getting RBIs, they’ll get Ws. That, and Puig looking like a dope out there in RF.
We won a road series. Against a division leader. Suck my balls, LA. Your team is all glitter.
Don’t get used to it. The Dodgers have bad fundies. The Giants and Bochy have been struggling, but they play sound baseball (except for maybe Pagan’s baserunning). We see them tonight. They’re coming from DC. Hopefully they’re jet lagged. That’s the best chance we’ve got.
The Mets are 41-40. Like many predicted, we are a .500 team. “Above .500!” shouts Sandy.
Well, other than the 11 game win streak, we’ve been total dogshit. Has there been a bright spot? I believe so. Vote for the 1st half MVP! I’m voting for Familia. He’s been special, and he was really asked to step up after Mejia’s injury and then suspension.
Remember, all teams get at least 1 all star. De-fault, uh uh! De-fault, uh uh!
I guess we’re not THAT confused. Thor is an ace. The Mets only scored 2 runs. We win games 2-1. It happens. Pretty textbook. On the road, though? Crazier things have happened.
Chalk this one up to Vegas rigging. The Mets, with a greater chance of losing than for Kershaw to throw a no-no, were a LOCK. Vegas having the Mets down by astronomical odds. They never win on the road. They never win against good pitching. Blah blah blah. What a Vegas doublebluff. It was so obvious.
Some fun facts:
~Mayberry hit cleanup last night. That’s gold. I think Syndergaard is better suited for that spot. Having said that, Mayberry KILLS lefties, now doesn’t he? I’m sure Clayton was shaking in his boots when he saw the middle of our lineup.
~d’Arnaud officially has no timetable for his return.
~Howie Rose got sick. Feel better, Howie! You’re one of the good ones. And that is so rare.
~Wright is “optimistic.” About what? 2016?
~Justin Giantsbane, former Met, is batting .314 and will likely be an all-star. We let him walk. I guess he’s doing better because he has Peterson, AeGon, and Puig around him. Hmmm…teamwork? Talented lineup? Vat are zeez tings?
~Tejada is 5 for 9 lifetime against Kershaw. I guess Kershaw is dogshit.
PREBLOW: Harvey v Greinke. Same thing could happen. Why the hell not? Oh, because we’re the Mets, right.
“The Mets? Really? I guess I’ll skip my warmups to make it a little more fair.” -Kershaw
Ah yes, the great migration to the ocean. As the circle of life turns every summer, the Mets shall fly to the west coast to end their season just before the all-star game. We should be firmly out of contention by then.
Tonight, it’s Thor vs Kershaw. Is it possible that in Vegas a NO-HITTER from Kershaw has better odds than the Mets winning? I think it’s a 1% chance that the Mets win, and about a 10% chance that Kershaw throws a no-no. Real stats. Real facts. Real dogdoo team.
Thor will get a chance to bat, though. That could break up the no-no. He’s the only hitter on the team with a shot.
At the beginning of the season, people looked to two teams as the “hopefuls” or the “potentials” to take over a playoff spot from an incumbent. Those two teams were the Mets and the Cubs.
The Mets had the pitching. The Cubs had the hitting. People debated which team would be better. People debated which team actually had a shot. It made the Mets and Cubs into rivals, of sorts. If nothing else, it made the matchup between the two teams a litmus test and a proving grounds to see which team was actually legitimate; to see which team has actually blossomed in the offseason and was now ready to compete for something (unless you count competing for .500 a thing).
Their season series is now over. The Cubs won 7 games. The Mets won 0. The litmus test has revealed the Mets players as a bunch of basic bitches and the organization as acidic and corrosive slimeballs. Tip your cap to Theo Epstein–he’s quite the GM.
The Cubs swept the season series against the Mets. 7 wins, 0 losses.
Cubs 6, Mets 1
“El stinko,” as Keith said.
So fucking stinky. But hey, we didn’t get shutout! YAAAAY! 1 run! And how did we get our run? Who scored our lone run? deGrom!! BAHAHAHAHAHA. Our pitchers. The best hitters on the team. Amazin’.
Oh and by the way, deGrom only let up 3 earned runs. When the score was tied 1-1, guess how we lost the lead. An unearned run. BAHAHAHAHA. Nice defense, Murph! Nice defense, Mets! “Nice game, pretty boy.”
Stat of the Day: The Mets have won zero–ZERO–series against teams with better records than them. They are 40-40. Thor will face Kershaw in LA for their 81st game. Are we a .500 team? Halfway through the season, we may be one over or one below. I put our O/U on runs scored against Kershaw at 0.5, and that’s being generous. One thing that is scientifically undeniable: we are dogshit.
Whatever. Even the sycophantic blogs are sick of this shit. I don’t need to say it. We’re all sick of our perfidus owners. We’re all sick of our lifeless offense. It’s over. Cover the field.
I wonder if the Mets can get swept at home without scoring a run. That’s gotta be some kind of record. I love how people talk about how the Mets are “good at home.” Uhhhhh back to back shutouts? 20 innings without scoring a run? That’s good at home? This kind of thing NEVER–and I mean NEVER–happens to a team that’s actually “good at home.”
The bottom of the 8th inning was the greatest microcosm for Mets baseball that I ever seen. It had it all. The Cubs tried AS HARD AS THEY COULD to give us the game. 5 outs on the inning. The umps tried to give it to us, too. But we said, “Nay! Tiz not our time to score a run.” It really had it all: baserunning blunders, failed bunt attempts, signal confusion, strikeouts with RISP…just fantastic. A Three Stooges routine couldn’t have spoofed the Mets better than that.
deGrom vs Arrieta tonight. Who cares? Even letting up zero runs isn’t good enough. Colon had his best start of the year last night and it doesn’t matter. None of it matters until we make a trade or better yet, change ownership. This is all just dumb.
Today is my birthday. And what a glorious birthday present from the Mets! Every year on my birthday, the generous, caring Wilpons give 1.2 million dollars to Bobby Bonilla. Thank you, Jeff!
So instead of paying that lump sum in 1999, the Mets decided to defer payment over a few decades. They figured, “hey great, now we can save this money and give it to Madoff!”
P.S. I just want to let everyone know that I am not blaming or insulting Bobby Bo one iota. I’m happy for him. In the business where the stars are treated like circus elephants, Bonilla took advantage of a retarded, cheap, short sighted owner and found a way to get himself income for 35 years. A 1.2 million dollar payday (I believe that raise started in 2011) is pretty damn sweet.
Boy, it’s a good thing we have all these aces, right? Hell, Niese isn’t even one of our aces! And he still only let up 1 run! Wow! What a staff! We’ve really got something in the works, here!
We are terrrrrrrible. Daniel Murphy comes back and Michael Cuddyer immediately goes down. Our lineup was at full strength for about 7 days at the beginning of the season. Since then, we’ve had at least two–even three–starters injured at all times. Not to mention Wheeler, Mejia, Edgin, Blevins, Black, etc.
The second the Cubs got their run, it was over. Completely over against a scrub pitcher with a 4.5 ERA. Pathetic. The Cubs only had 4 hits and 1 run. But we had 3 hits…and 0 runs. That kind of futility is impressive. Stop me if you’ve seen this scenario before…as in, practically every day.
We should just put Matz, Thor, deGrom, and Harvey in the lineup on their non-throwing days.
At least Niese pitched well enough to get dealt. Probably to the Cubs.
So Cuddyer went down. That was a lock. He’s been playing hurt all year (and for the past 5 years) anyway. Bring up Conforto!? Is it time? You know we’re too cheap and Jew-y to go out and get someone. Conforto! Nimmo! Hoooraaaay minor leaguers that are unprepared and will be ruined forever!
PREBLOW BONUS: Big Sexy on the bump tonight against Jon Lester. Lester has been shitty all year. Today is a perfect day for him to get back into form. If you play fantasy baseball, the LOCK STRATEGY is to just rotate your pitchers and start the guy that is facing the Mets every day.
MetsBlow 