Cubs 6, Mets 1

“El stinko,” as Keith said.

So fucking stinky. But hey, we didn’t get shutout! YAAAAY! 1 run! And how did we get our run? Who scored our lone run? deGrom!! BAHAHAHAHAHA. Our pitchers. The best hitters on the team. Amazin’.

Oh and by the way, deGrom only let up 3 earned runs. When the score was tied 1-1, guess how we lost the lead. An unearned run. BAHAHAHAHA. Nice defense, Murph! Nice defense, Mets! “Nice game, pretty boy.”

Stat of the Day: The Mets have won zero–ZERO–series against teams with better records than them. They are 40-40. Thor will face Kershaw in LA for their 81st game. Are we a .500 team? Halfway through the season, we may be one over or one below. I put our O/U on runs scored against Kershaw at 0.5, and that’s being generous. One thing that is scientifically undeniable: we are dogshit.