Big Sexy is on the hill. It’s great watching him do his thang.
Other than that? Snooooooooooooooooooze.
Month: May 2015
Postblow: I Told Them To Cancel The Damn Game
Cards 10, Mets 2
In the preblow, I told them to cancel. This game was pointless. We all knew this is how it was gonna go.
Jon Niese will shoulder–if he has any muscle left in there–the blame for this loss. That is unjust. Yes, he got done up. Yes, he deserves an L. However, we DON’T SCORE RUNS. At all. We are a travesty on offense. He deserves an L but not all the blame.
That 10-run inning a few days ago was the worst thing that could’ve happened to us. Now, at the end of the month, the Jewpons will say, “no no no, we’re hitting! We don’t need to spend any money. Our runs/game aren’t so bad!” Of course, Mets fans know that 10-run inning was the exception that proves the rule. The rule is: we’re not allowed to hit.
So it’s time to make a move. If a move isn’t made by the all-star break, we will not make the playoffs. We probably won’t anyway, but a move could help. How about Niese or Gee for Victorino straight up? A starting OF with 2 rings? Naaaaahhh. How bout any fucking pitcher for any fucking hitter? Ya know–to make our team better? Naaaaahh.
Oh and P.S. we are now tied for 1st place with the Nats. It’s gonna be NECK and NECK the whole way through! Wow, what a tight race you guys! Really gonna come down to the wire! Metsblow. Minimum 10 games back by season’s end. Lock.
The Return-From-Injury Odds
With Dr. Nick hard at work, who will return to the Mets first? Here are the odds and projected dates:
Travis d’Arnaud:
-The Mets said a month. It’s been a month. He’ll likely return fairly on time, whimpering every time he swings the bat. Odds on returning first are 1:1
David Wright:
-The Mets said May 15. He’s still two weeks away. Odds on returning first are 10:1.
Bobby Parnell:
-The Mets said late April. He’s likely dead. Odds on returning first are 50:1.
Vic Black:
-The Mets said mid May. He’s likely dead. Odds on returning first are 50:1.
Dilson Herrera:
-The Mets said he got hurt fielding grounders during batting practice. His finger will likely be amputated. Odds on returning first are 75:1.
Jerry Blevins:
-Hit by a nasty comebacker. The Mets said he’d be out for three months. It’s been only one month. Odds on returning first are 100:1.
Odds that they are all dead are 3:1. Odds that at least one of them is dead is the lock of the century and Vegas won’t take the bet.
Preblow: Cancel This Game
SHUT IT DOWN! CANCEL THE GAME! No fucking way we do shit against Wacha. He’s got a 2.06 ERA. Guaranteed below 2 by the end of this game. Shut it the fuck down.
Ceciliani to Replace Nieuwenhuis…and Cuddyer?
The Mets are bringing up Greasy Ceciliani because Cap’n Kirk sucks ass. Metsblow. We know, we know, oh, oh.
But what about Cuddyer? He’s got full blown METS. He struck out in a must-not-strikeout situation last night. He fucking sucks. Why does he suck? Like I said, full blown METS. There’s no other explanation. It’s not age. It’s not injury. It’s the METS. That’s it. You don’t go from an OPS of .809 to .650 (the second lowest among left fielders) overnight. It doesn’t happen to anyone but the Mets. There’s no other explanation. It’s a fucking curse.
We need a shortstop! Good god do we need a shortstop! Well guess what, we need a left fielder, too.
Get Your Blood Boiling With This True Story About the Wilpons
So here at Metsblow, we like to make things up and use hyperbole to illustrate our justified concerns about the Wilpons. The following contains none of that. It is simply a story passed along to me by someone who has inside information at St. John’s University.
Chris Mullin is the new St. John’s coach, so the Yankees offered to have him throw out the first pitch at a game. Fine.
The Mets/Wilpons heard about it and made Mullin an offer as well: Throw out the 1st pitch, but only if you either
A) Buy 500 mets tickets and bring a bunch of St. John’s students out to a game
Or
B) Throw out the first pitch 1 day before the Yankees first pitch
—
JOOZ! Fucking Jooz!! I hate them so much. I wouldn’t let them into my home if they were crying/starving/seeking asylum. Someone hire a Faceless Man to give them the gift.
Cap’n Kirk Likely DFA
OF Darrell Ceciliani will be promoted from Triple-A Las Vegas and join the Mets for Tuesday’s game, the team announced after Monday’s game. The team did not announce a corresponding roster move, though ESPN’s Adam Rubin speculates that Kirk Nieuwenhuis may soon be designated for assignment.
The left-handed hitting Ceciliani, 24, was hitting .336 with five home runs and 17 RBI in 113 at-bats with Triple-A Las Vegas.
He is well known around the team for his strong defensive skills, with Triple-A manager Wally Backman saying that Ceciliani has a similar read to Juan Lagares.
The Mets drafted Ceciliani during the fourth round of the 2009 Draft.
Cya Cap’n Kirk! Boldly go where many Mets have gone before: the minor leagues.
This greasy Italian mook Ceciliani doesn’t have a great history of hitting, but he’s doing well now, apparently has great defensive instincts, and hasn’t been on our bench yet, so he’s therefore better by default than any of our current bench players. I would gladly take someone batting .000 because that’s what our bench bats anyway. Clean slate. New guys. We’ve been watching Kirk for years. The Kirk ship has sailed. Try something new. I like it. Time for someone new to be bad and disappointing.
**UPDATE: The Mets officially made the move. Kirk has indeed been DFA.
Mets Get a Cubano! …That Nobody Has Ever Heard Of!
Did we get Cespedes? Tomas? An impact bat? NOPE!
The Mets have signed 27-year-old, free-agent Cuban catcher Lednier Ricardo, according to ESPN’s Adam Rubin.
Ricardo hit .256 with with 26 home runs and 136 RBI in 1,190 at-bats during the Cuban National Series from 2007 through 2012.
Well, his numbers are pretty shitty, but still a vast improvement over Recker. I’ll take it. I’ll take anything.
In the offseason, I was screaming and crying for Tomas, or for Kang the Korean. They’re both all-stars. HAR HAR HAR. Nice move, Mets.
Sandy Alderson: Baseball Maverick does it again. Have a cigar, you’re gonna go far.
Postblow: Mets Win? I Think? Anybody Still Awake?
Mets 2, Cards 1. F/14
Snoooooze. You can’t blame TC for bringing in Familia. He blew his first save, but that’s not the issue. The issue is, of course, the (lack of) hitting. We are flat out fucking boring. More importantly, this is our shot. Repeat: THIS IS OUR SHOT. You know why? Because Harvey is already done with this team. Has anyone in the history of baseball ever put up two straight scoreless starts and won neither? This is our shot. We have this three-year window and then Harvey is gone, probably to the Yankees, or maybe to the Cardinals.
A pro (probably the only pro) for the game was that after 9, Keith really didn’t give a fuck. He went full Harry Doyle. I’m talking pants undone and Irish coffees done. Load groans at our futility after each AB. He’s a ballplayer and he’s a fan, so it hurts double for him to watch this schlock.
We won the game, but we are a far inferior team. This is best exemplified by our potential insurance run (Wilmerrr!!!) getting picked off in the bottom of the 8th, only to watch the Cards push all the right buttons and run the bases like champs in order to manufacture the tying run in the top of the 9th. Familia was barely touched up. The run scored on a shallow sac fly and a better-armed RF guns out the runner every time. You forgive Grandy for his weak arm and mediocre fielding when he’s hitting 40 dingers each year. Oops. I’m not sure if any amount of hitting could forgive Flores’ play right now, but he IS hitting a bit…for now. We can’t hit and we can’t play defense but man oh man do we have great pitching. Such a shame. We could be a 100 win team with an average team behind this rotation.
Preblow: Mets vs. Cards; Sandy Alderson Speaks
The 22-16 Mets (in 1st place by half a game!) host the Cards (25-12, 1st place in NL central, best record in baseball) this week.
A few quotes from Sandy Alderson about the upcoming 4-game series against the Cards:
“It was good to take 2 out of 3 against the Brewers before the inevitable assramming the Cards will give us.”
“They have good pitching and good hitting. What a bunch of goody-goods. We’re a bit too cool for that.”
“We’re excited to have Harvey going tonight. We’re excited to lose only 1 or 2 to nothing against Lackey.”
“Wacha vs. Niese tomorrow? Go ahead and cancel it. Just cancel the game.”
“Can’t believe we’ve got 4 games against these guys. Somebody think of the children!”
“The good news is that David Wright will be back by May 15. That should give us a nice boost.”
MetsBlow 