The Mets are bringing up Greasy Ceciliani because Cap’n Kirk sucks ass. Metsblow. We know, we know, oh, oh.

But what about Cuddyer? He’s got full blown METS. He struck out in a must-not-strikeout situation last night. He fucking sucks. Why does he suck? Like I said, full blown METS. There’s no other explanation. It’s not age. It’s not injury. It’s the METS. That’s it. You don’t go from an OPS of .809 to .650 (the second lowest among left fielders) overnight. It doesn’t happen to anyone but the Mets. There’s no other explanation. It’s a fucking curse.

We need a shortstop! Good god do we need a shortstop! Well guess what, we need a left fielder, too.