Post/Preblow: The Comeback Kids!

The Mets are 0-36 when trailing after 7 innings.
The Mets are 0-36 when trailing after 7 innings.

Well, that game could not have been scripted better. These are the most predictable games ever. We here at Metsblow literally wrote that this exact thing would happen. It’s not rocket science. It’s just that anyone who watches this team knows what’s going to happen, and tonight was no exception.

The game was a perfect microcosm of the season as a whole. We leadoff the game with a dinger (a dinger! wow! home run happy Mets!) and then it’s either CGSO or bust for Thor (or any pitcher).

So in the 6th, as the CGSO is in tact, the Mets are clinging to a 1-0 lead, and have gotten a total of 2 hits. Nowhere close to getting insurance. The Cardinals get a broken bat bloop single, followed by an error, aaaaand we lose. Peralta hits a home run (should we have acquired him? Hmmmmm? Nah, we’re too crowded at that position) and it’s completely over.

Btw, the dinger was catchable. Kirk missed it.

So we’re down 2-1, with the cards runs being unearned. That’s the most predictable score in the history of the game.

Sidenote: TC got ejected on the worst call I’ve ever seen. Ejection worthy x a billion. The ball was a foot low on Duda, the ump called it a strike, and instead of ball 4 we end up with an out.

Other sidenote: Cuddy’s done, huh? Kirk started in LF. Wow.

Pack it in. Shut down everyone. Matz will make 0 more starts this season. Fuck the Wilpons. They’re pure evil. They’re rapists and liars and worse. Joffrey Wilpon.

Gary Cohen BEGGED the Mets to make a move. He said that the Mets HAVE TO MAKE A MOVE. On the air. So in the top of the 9th, with the tying runners on (after letting up an insurance run in the 8th), we have Kirk, Tejada, and Mayberry up. Gary didn’t hold back at all. He said we have to make a move. It couldn’t be more obvious. Our best chance at scoring was a wild pitch. Try and fucking steal home for fucks sake. Sheeeiiit.

Never fear. Alderson is “interested” in players! They’re interested, guys! Completely interested. We’re so active with interested right now.

So the comeback kids lose another one. We lose 100% of the time when trailing after 7, and this game was no exception. Awesome job, y’all.

Terry Collins: “We’re in a pennant race.”

Good one, Terry. I mean, he’s not wrong. Just like the guys in wheelchairs are in the marathon. The only difference is that the wheelchair guys have dignity and respect and lots of people cheering for them and finish or at least attempt to finish their races with pride.

PREBLOW: Tonight, it’s Colon vs. Lackey. Giggle-worthy. Lackey will mow us the fuck down. These games are stupid. Maverick!

Preblow: Mets Will Blow in the 2nd Half

I don't think Endy Chavez is getting to this one...
I don’t think Endy Chavez is getting to this one…

Welp, here we go. Baseball is back.

Will Cuddyer “progress” to the mean? NOPE! He’s got full blown METS disease.

Will Alderson make a legitimate move? NOPE! Staying pat! Maverick!

Will the Cards, Nats, and Dodgers rock the shit out of the Mets to open the 2nd half? Yup.

Will we be out of contention by September? Yup.

Will we be last in runs and OPS and most offensive categories? Yup.

Tonight, Thor faces Lynn. Here comes a rude awakening. Two stud pitchers, only 1 stud offense. The Cardinals will remind the Mets that we’re still about 7 pieces away from being a division leader.


Postblow: I Told Them To Cancel The Damn Game

Cards 10, Mets 2

In the preblow, I told them to cancel. This game was pointless. We all knew this is how it was gonna go.

Jon Niese will shoulder–if he has any muscle left in there–the blame for this loss. That is unjust. Yes, he got done up. Yes, he deserves an L. However, we DON’T SCORE RUNS. At all. We are a travesty on offense. He deserves an L but not all the blame.

That 10-run inning a few days ago was the worst thing that could’ve happened to us. Now, at the end of the month, the Jewpons will say, “no no no, we’re hitting! We don’t need to spend any money. Our runs/game aren’t so bad!” Of course, Mets fans know that 10-run inning was the exception that proves the rule. The rule is: we’re not allowed to hit.

So it’s time to make a move. If a move isn’t made by the all-star break, we will not make the playoffs. We probably won’t anyway, but a move could help. How about Niese or Gee for Victorino straight up? A starting OF with 2 rings? Naaaaahhh. How bout any fucking pitcher for any fucking hitter? Ya know–to make our team better? Naaaaahh.

Oh and P.S. we are now tied for 1st place with the Nats. It’s gonna be NECK and NECK the whole way through! Wow, what a tight race you guys! Really gonna come down to the wire! Metsblow. Minimum 10 games back by season’s end. Lock.

Postblow: Mets Win? I Think? Anybody Still Awake?

Had they put the camera on Keith, you would've seen a bottle.
Had they put the camera on Keith, you would’ve seen a bottle.

Mets 2, Cards 1. F/14

Snoooooze. You can’t blame TC for bringing in Familia. He blew his first save, but that’s not the issue. The issue is, of course, the (lack of) hitting. We are flat out fucking boring. More importantly, this is our shot. Repeat: THIS IS OUR SHOT. You know why? Because Harvey is already done with this team. Has anyone in the history of baseball ever put up two straight scoreless starts and won neither? This is our shot. We have this three-year window and then Harvey is gone, probably to the Yankees, or maybe to the Cardinals.

A pro (probably the only pro) for the game was that after 9, Keith really didn’t give a fuck. He went full Harry Doyle. I’m talking pants undone and Irish coffees done. Load groans at our futility after each AB. He’s a ballplayer and he’s a fan, so it hurts double for him to watch this schlock.

We won the game, but we are a far inferior team. This is best exemplified by our potential insurance run (Wilmerrr!!!) getting picked off in the bottom of the 8th, only to watch the Cards push all the right buttons and run the bases like champs in order to manufacture the tying run in the top of the 9th. Familia was barely touched up. The run scored on a shallow sac fly and a better-armed RF guns out the runner every time. You forgive Grandy for his weak arm and mediocre fielding when he’s hitting 40 dingers each year. Oops. I’m not sure if any amount of hitting could forgive Flores’ play right now, but he IS hitting a bit…for now. We can’t hit and we can’t play defense but man oh man do we have great pitching. Such a shame. We could be a 100 win team with an average team behind this rotation.

Preblow: Mets vs. Cards; Sandy Alderson Speaks

The 22-16 Mets (in 1st place by half a game!) host the Cards (25-12, 1st place in NL central, best record in baseball) this week.

A few quotes from Sandy Alderson about the upcoming 4-game series against the Cards:

“It was good to take 2 out of 3 against the Brewers before the inevitable assramming the Cards will give us.”

“They have good pitching and good hitting. What a bunch of goody-goods. We’re a bit too cool for that.”

“We’re excited to have Harvey going tonight. We’re excited to lose only 1 or 2 to nothing against Lackey.”

“Wacha vs. Niese tomorrow? Go ahead and cancel it. Just cancel the game.”

“Can’t believe we’ve got 4 games against these guys. Somebody think of the children!”

“The good news is that David Wright will be back by May 15. That should give us a nice boost.”