thor

MadBum is Super Elite

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And this is why it was so fucking important to scratch that win out the previous day. Thor is a developing young STUD. He will work on getting the ball out of his hands quicker. He very well could win a Cy Young. But MadBum is already established. He is incredible. And he’s a lefty, which stopped Conforto. Like Thor, Conforto is a developing stud who may crush lefties soon enough, but for now just rip your cap to MadBum because he’s super elite and this was always going to be a loss.

Hunter Pence–crazy picadillos and all–sure can hit the high heat a fucking mile. 

Doo doo Braves in town! Take advantaaaaage.

Thor K’s 12; Gets ND!?

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thorconfused
A confused Thor looks over the stats and wonders how the fuck he didn’t get a W.

Marlins 2, Mets 1

Do you think we’ll score 300 runs this year? This offense is somehow worse than last year’s? Put Soup in! We couldn’t be any worse.

You just can’t lose this game. Not with a pitching performance like that. Welcome to the wonderful world of Mets baseball, Noah. Enjoy!

 

I Think These Are Gonna Be Tough to Write

metsblow, , 2 Comments

thorhammer.jpg

 

I’m so glad Metsblow Nation did the damn job of the century last year. We protested and boycotted and stuck together and now our team’s really fucking good. I wish we could’ve split in KC last Fall, but yeah, the Mets (or at least the pitchers) really don’t blow.

Wright’s back must be BAAARKING after 2 stolen bases. He lead the league in steals there for a moment. Loco Turtle is on the loose.

Thank Gawd Thor is a new Met. How “same ol’ Mets” did that 6th inning look? A runner gets to 1st on a K, DP doesn’t get turned, 1 pitch later another failed DP, garbage bloop single, ump squeezes us for a walk and…a big fat 3 pitch K to Morales. Syndergaard WOOF.

Happy recap for the pen as well. 9 up, 9 down for Henderson-Reed-Fam. I’m surprised that Robles didn’t pitch the 8th. I’m not complaining, I just thought that Robles was the setup man, at least for April. I’m wary. I think he might secretly be hurt (update: suspended) or something. Quickpitch quickpitch in yo face. Fam getting the save in KC was nice to see. He might be the best pitcher we have.

Neil Walker with a dong piece. Meet the Mets.

Final Blow: Di Blasio banned chewing tobacco in NY? What the fuck? It’s bad enough everybody’s getting sliiiiiced up on the train. Now you’re gonna take away Harvey’s lip? The chaw? Big Chief? Plug? Wad? Baccy? All the pros do it. It gives you tons of energy. I’m sure our boys will find some way to get their buzz on. I’m optimistic.

 

 

 

Thor Strikes With His Mighty Hammer

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RAWR!
RAWR!

Mets 4, Padres 0

We scored 4 runs! IT’S A NEW DAY!!! We’re now 37-5 when scoring 4 runs. Holy freakin’ shit. And TDA is apparently ready to go. He’ll be back by Friday and dead on Sunday.

The big story from last night was Thor. He was perfect going into the 7th. He finished with a line of 8 IP, 0 R, 3 H, and 9 Ks. Holy balls.

Let’s win this fucking series.

Postblow: Thor Gets His First W

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Mets 5, Brewers 1

Mets win the series against the shit Brewers. Whoopdee fuckin doo. Whooooo cares…

Make a move. Stop acting like this means we’re good. Thor rules. Love him. So trade Gee. Get Victorino for him or something. Get someone who bats above .100, which we don’t have on our bench.

Preblow: Thor Makes his ML Debut

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High School Prom King
High School Prom King

Thor is finally getting the call! Wow, what an exciting day. The guy has an OPS of 1.364! We’ve really needed an impact bat for over two (five?) years now, and I think we’ve found that bat in Syndergaard. Our offense has just been beyond frail since Wright and d’Arnaud went down with cases of METS, and it’ll be good to have someone who can hit coming up…oh, and apparently he can pitch well, too. Well, you can still bat him cleanup, can’t you? He likely belongs there when compared to our dogshit lineup.

A lot was made about the young Noah not getting the call last season. A lot was also made about #HamSandwichGate and I respect all of it. Don’t ever a kid the keys to the castle. Make him work. Syndergaard has now admitted, “Not getting the call [last year] motivated me. Last year taught me how to struggle and how to handle adversity.”

Get ready for a new struggle, Noah: The struggle of losing games 1-0! Hopefully you can mash at the major league level, too, because your DOMINANCE on the mound won’t be enough! Go ahead and ask every other pitcher on the team!

Trade Thor & Matz

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There, I said it. I know you can never have too much pitching, but we have to make a move.

When back to back 1-0 losses are predictable, a change has to be made. We need bats. We need hitting depth. 

Trade Gee, Niese, Thor, Wheeler…somebody! Make the fucking move and get Tulo. Do something, Maverick. Do something!  

Syndergaard’s Stock is Plummeting

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Hulk = METS disease
Hulk = METS disease

Thor got scratched for an “illness” today. Don’t worry, he’ll start tomorrow! Or Sunday! We don’t know!

And to think, we could’ve traded Thor and Wheelies for Tulo. Of course, the Mets would never do that because the Jewpons would never take a $118mil contract! Oh, it’s not because they’re cheap Jews, it’s just because we’re Moneyball guys now! Oh, wait, you’re telling me that according to Moneyball logic, Tulo is actually the best player in baseball and is worth double what the Rockies are paying him? Please direct any further questions to our friend, Bernie…

Noah Syndergaard to the Minors

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Noah Syndergaard has been optioned to minor league camp. Syndergaard was scheduled to pitch on Saturday against the Tigers. This spring, Syndergaard appeared in three games, posted a 4.91 ERA over 7 1/3 innings. He struck out nine and walked three.

Why send him down a day before his scheduled start? I’ll tell you why: Because Vegas, that’s why! March Madness! He’s probably there to monitor his bracket.

Seriously, though, have you noticed how much this guy’s stock has plummeted? Matz is sooooo the guy, now. Thor might be out, y’all. He might really be out. He’s got the stuff, but boy does he get rattled up there. Learn to deal with an error, Noah. Learn to deal with when the ump doesn’t give you the call. Grow up, Peter Pan.