Thor got scratched for an “illness” today. Don’t worry, he’ll start tomorrow! Or Sunday! We don’t know!

And to think, we could’ve traded Thor and Wheelies for Tulo. Of course, the Mets would never do that because the Jewpons would never take a $118mil contract! Oh, it’s not because they’re cheap Jews, it’s just because we’re Moneyball guys now! Oh, wait, you’re telling me that according to Moneyball logic, Tulo is actually the best player in baseball and is worth double what the Rockies are paying him? Please direct any further questions to our friend, Bernie…