Month: September 2015

The Nats Are Dead

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The Mets give out championship belts every night in the clubhouse.
The Mets give out championship belts every night in the clubhouse.

Mets 5, Nats 3

Well that was some series, huh? The Mets swept the Nats for the second time in a row. This time it was in Washington. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, except when the Mets are on the other side of it. Three comeback wins in the most demoralizing fashion possible.

Thanks to Mr. Sweptcedes. He’s the greatest player ever. Thanks to Sandy for bringing him here. Now that his contract has been renegotiated, we have more than 5 days after the season to resign him. So instead of the band-aid being ripped right off, we can be disappointed all offseason. Enjoy it while it lasts! I hope the Jewpons recognize that he’s worth infinity dollars in t-shirt sales alone.

For those in Metsblow Nation waiting for the other shoe to drop, here comes Turner Field! We all know it’s HAINTED. So hainted. The Mets better be ready to win in Atlanta, because we sure as fuck never have.

P.S. Depsite the article headline, we haven’t clinched shit yet. Stay fucking focused.

Even the Pro-Yankee Anti-Mets Media Can’t Stop Us

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Mets 8, Nats 7

Welp, the pieces of shit that cover NY sports (everyone except me) tried as hard as they could to make us blow. They got in Harvey’s head. They got in NY’s collective head (again). They caused a storm and a ruckus and tried as hard as they could to derail the Mets. They lied and lied and fueled the nonstory fire big time. It hurt Harvey. It hurt the fans. But thankfully the Nats have a case of the METS and we won.

Redemption was spelled Y-O-E-N-I-S as the best player Mets fans have ever seen made a huge boner in CF that allowed 3 extra runs, only to hit a bases clearing double in the next half inning.

The Nats are soulless and broken. Step on their throats tomorrow. Our ace, Jake, takes the hill against Stephen “It’s OK to shut him down because we’ll be back in the playoffs for years to come” Strasburg.

What a Great Bullpen We Have

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Mets 8, Nats 5

It’s a good thing Matt Williams is fucking horrible and blew Scherzer’s arm the fuck out. He just doesn’t yank him. He hasn’t all season and he didn’t tonight, either.

Our bullpen is soooo shut down, derp. 5.2 IP, 0 R. Keep on quick pitching.  

We’ve had a lot of back injuries this season. Pray that Cespedes doesn’t hurt his back carrying the entire team on it. 

We Blow Again

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cryingmrmet

Mets 3, Marlins 4

Going into the series @WSH, which was the bigger lock–that we’d be reeling or that the Nats would be surging? Such fucking locks. We’re still 4 games up, but damn does that feel thin. Damn does it feel like we’re blowing it. Losing 5 out of 9 against the Sawx, Phils, and Fins is absolutely unacceptable. “At least we’re beating up on the bad teams” was our official slogan for the season. Now we can’t even beat the NL Least.

What a shitty loss, too. Collins pinch hits for Plawecki (subbing a righty for a righty) and that resulted in a double play. Clippard has been stellar, but blew it. The bottom line is you can’t only score 3 runs against the Marlins. They pulled that gambling fiend Cosart out in the 5th fucking inning even though he was shutting us down (except for Cespedes). Their pen is dogshit, but our pen is worse, apparently.

At least Matz looked pretty good. We’ll need him–as well as Gee and Verrett–to pitch well down the stretch because Harvey, Thor, and even deGrom have all looked gassed and if we want them strong and under their magical innings limit barriers for the postseason, then guys like Matz have to step up. So far, so good, except for the blister. Can’t fault Matz today.

OK, it’s time. @WSH time. Duda and Murph are both back, though Duda isn’t in today’s lineup. I’m not sure why not, but at least they’ve finally moved Cespedes out of the 2-hole. Today’s matchup is Niese vs. Scherzer, and I gotta say that looks absolutely AWFUL on paper. I don’t see how we win it, especially because we blow so hard.

Big Sexy Throws a Big Complete Game Shutout

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MLB: Milwaukee Brewers at New York Mets

Mets 7, Marlins 0

The Mets prove once again that they are the masters of short memory–of quickly putting a dogshit game behind them. The reason for that is, of course, elite pitching. You’re only as good as your next pitcher, and the Mets have some of the best. Tolo throwing a CGSO shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. A behind-the-back flip web gem? No surprise there, either. He’s a cat.

Pray for d’Arnaud–he’s amazin’ when healthy. Pray for Duda and Murph and Cuddy to return. Pray for Matz. Pray for Wright. Pray for the health of this team. Just fucking pray. Because that’s what we have now. Pray. The Mets at full health can compete. Pray for deGrom and the rest of our aces to be able to get some stamina. Just pray.

O’Flaherty and Kirk!? NEVER AGAIN!!

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NEVER AGAIN.
NEVER AGAIN.

Marlins 6, Mets 5 (F/11)

Granted, the Mets were a little thin last night due to the deaths of Duda and Murph. Normally, in a PH situation, you’d bring in Uribe. Since Murph’s dead, Uribe was starting and we had to bring in Kirk to PH with the bases loaded. Ummm…wait…no we didn’t. Because we could’ve brought in Nimmo or Greasy Gavin Cecchini for the 40-man roster. WHY KIRK? WHY!? 3 DINGERS, THAT’S WHY! No. Fuck no.

Listen to me, Mets. When I say, “never again,” I mean it. I said it a while ago. Kirk should never be here. He’s an auto-out. The reason the Mets are better now than in June is because we don’t play guys like Kirk. Our “bad” hitters hit .250 now, instead of .150, but here’s Kirk, batting .150 for us. NEVER AGAIN.

O’Flaherty!? Same deal. Listen to me. I said it already. I’m saying it again: NEVER AGAIN. NEVER FUCKING AGAIN in a Mets uniform. Stop. No more. Never again.

Confidence Meter for Making Playoffs: 0.0 with these guys on the team.

Oh, Should We Put O’Flaherty In Again?

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This is TC's brain.
This is TC’s brain.

Mets 9, Phillies 4

Well that wasn’t so fucking hard, now was it? Way to rebound. TC just needs to fucking listen to me. I’m glad they read this shit.

Gilmartin got the lefty Ryan “Power” Howard to ground into the inning ending double play? Hmmm…nah, though. Let’s try O’Flaherty. He was great against lefties 5 years ago.

Hey, nice dinger Tejada. Hey, nice front flip Brown.

Harvey got touched up a bit, huh? He was cruuuuisssing for a while. He got lazy with a big lead and against the bottom of the order. Well, a win is a win.

Daniel Murphy is dead.

No More Parnell Ever Again

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Phillies 14, Mets 8

Done. He’s done. Nice fucking throw down to first base, too, ya mook.

Collins? Maybe done. We’re losing 6-4 and you bring in Parnell?! Never again. You’re a moron. Put in Reed, or Commissioner Goeddel, or Gilmartin. It was a ballgame! We were down 6-0, so TC started warming up mop up man Bobby P, but then we got 4, so switch up the fucking plan! TC can’t manage his pitchers.

Also, Bighat Torres is waaaaay better than O’Flaherty. Until we get Blevins and/or Edgin back, I don’t see how we can still go with O’Flaherty over Bighat. O’Flaherty, really Sandy? Infinity ERA? He’s done. TC and Sandy, wake the fuck up.

Also, Niese is officially out of the playoff starter consideration pool. PLAYOFFS!? PLAYOFFS!?!?

Today is #HarveyDay. We have to win the series against the Phillies. HAVE TO. We’re home. It’s a joke. Come the fuck on. Win the game before the big, daunting road trip ahead.

Biiiiig Seeexxxxxxaaaayyy

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Colon threw 8 scoreless innings and hit a screamer for a single.
Colon threw 8 scoreless innings and hit a screamer for a single.

Mets 3, Phillies 1

Familia was rocky, but held it down for Colon’s brilliant night. Tolo even scored a run on Grandy’s dinger. Another game ball goes to Conforto was 2 for 2 with a solo shot and a walk.

And thus begins our long division stretch. 3 here vs the Phils, followed by 3 in Miami, 3 in Washington, and 4 in Atlanta. Then we come home to face the Marlins for 3. If it wasn’t for Turner Field being haunted, I’d say we’re facing nothing but bitch teams. NL LEEEEEEAST. Gotta own this shit.

Meanwhile the Nats are losing to Lackey and the Cards. Loooooosers.