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DINGERS!!!

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Dingers! Dingers! Dingers!
Dingers! Dingers! Dingers!

Mets 16, Phillies 7

So we can hit now!? Uhhh, well, that’s because the lineup is entirely different thanks to the Maverick. Praise be due to the Maverick. Here is a breakdown of our franchise record 8 dingers:

Top 2: David Wright, on his first swing back in the majors.

Top 3: Lagares, on a cheap Citizens Bank dinger.

Top 4: Wilmer, with Wright on base.

Top 4: d’Arnaud, back-to-back.

Top 5: Wilmer again.

Top 5: Cuddyer on the first pitch.

Top 6: Murph, who showboated and watched his cheap Citizens Bank dinger “all the way to the first row,” as Gary said.

Top 9: Cespedes, because what would a dinger day be without Cespedes!?

So on a night where deGrom didn’t have it, the Mets were the Comeback Kids and put the whole damn league on notice. Meanwhile, Gilmartin came in as the long reliever and mowed the Phillies down. That was impressive stuff. We needed those stops.

The impact of Wright is clear. As is the impact of Cespedes. Wright made two errors at 3rd, but I’m not too worried about that. He’ll get it back.

So on a night where Joe “I couldn’t care less” Namath smiled at our 16-7 score, can we actually start to believe? The doctors gave a great report on Duda, saying he’ll be back earlier than expected (don’t believe it). Gomez is struggling in Houston; his hip is BALKING. Can we believe it wasn’t the Jewpons jewing out and it was actually his hip? Don’t believe it. Stick with the facts: We’re in 1st place. That’s all that matters right now. One game at a time.

Thor takes the hill. Other than Verrett, our pitching has been struggling in these band boxes. Time for Thor to show us a good road start for once.

The Mets Listened To Me, As They Should

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Ow, my spine.
Ow, my spine.

Mets 5, Rockies 1

I told the Mets they need to pitch better. I TOOOOLD them to do that. Nice job, Verrett. He’ll likely start again next NEXT time Thor has a road start. You’re the new Gee. You even have his number. Man does the organization fucking hate Gee, or what? Don’t you think he’d be good in the pen? No?

Sweeping the doodoo Rockies was huge. The Rockies have single-handedly put us in this glorious position by beating the Nats and getting hammered by us. The story on Sunday was a familiar one: Elite pitching and enough hitting. That’s the formula, and Cespedes is the impact bat that makes the whole team go. Collins is dumb for batting him 2nd. But no matter where he bats, even when he goes 0 for 3, he changes the pitches thrown to everyone else. Murph is getting so many more fat fastballs and I love it. But Hale, the Rockies’ starter, was horrendous. He threw two wild pitches to RECKER! And they both let a run come in. Recker! He was scared of Recker!? Nah, he just missed his spots by a mile because he’s terrible. The Rockies are terrible. Good job on the sweep.

Now we’ve got to take at least 3 out 4 on the road against Philly. It’s another bad team, though since the ASG, the Marlins have been worse. The Phillies are better without Hamels and Utley for some reason–mainly because they’ve brought up some talented prospects. Either way, this is a last place team and you know what else…

David Wright is BACK! Now you get the photo at the top of the article. He’s baaaaack. What’s the O/U on games played before injuring himself again? 3.5? Will he even make it out of Philly? Stay tuned!

Back to Back Shitty Pitching Performances

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Mets 14, Rockies 9 (again!)

Yup. 14-9 again. Wow. So we can’t pitch, now? It’s just Colorado? I don’t know about you, but the thing that stuck out for me was that we have to bring in our holder and our closer with a 5 run lead?

Our bullpen has been really fucking bad. It’s our Achilles Heel and we need to do something. We brought up Alvarez–perhaps he can go to work. Sheeeeiiit, it’s just Colorado, I suppose.

Well, we scored a lot. Everyone contributed. It was fun to watch. We beat a bad team (again). That’s good. The Yankees can’t seem to beat the last place teams (which is fucking pathetic). At least we’re doing that. We go for the sweep now with Matt Harvey Logan Verrett up against David Hale. It’s hard to tell with Rockies pitching, but Hale looks like a bum. He’s just coming off a DL stint, too. He got shellacked by the Nats.

Duda is dead. 15-day DL. Good thing we didn’t rush him back so we can get the retroactive DL games! Oh…wait…nope…Metsblow.

So What? You Think Cespedes is Special?

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3 dingers in 1 game? Whatever.
3 dingers in 1 game? Whatever.

Mets 14, Rockies 9

So what? Cespedes hit 3 dingers. 7 RBI. Whatever. It ain’t shit. Kirk hit 3 dingers IN QUEENS. Not this easy Colorado shit. Why pay Cespedes? Why bother? I say we pay Kirk and cut our losses with this guy. It’s not like Cespedes is the best hitter in franchise history. It’s not like he’s the impact bat we’ve desperately craved for 6 years. It’s not like he’s leading us to a division title or anything…

Meanwhile, Duda is dead. His back is out again. Our back specialist was just given a raise.

A Postblow, A Preblow, and Some Notes

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cryingmrmet

Os 5, Mets 4

Thor battled, but without going 7 and giving way to Clippard and Familia, we can’t win games. Our bullpen blows. Robles and Smallhat Torres (now the only Torres) couldn’t hold leads. Torres let up a walkoff dinger to a shrimpy ass dude. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that I think Bighat is good, but fact is: Smallhat sucks, too. The bullpen sucks. The starters have to be elite for us to win. The bullpen has exploded since Bighat and Mejia left. Also, Cuddyer shouldn’t be out there. Cespedes probably makes that catch. Bullshit dinger in a bullshit stadium. Still, Torres should never be in during a tie game. We completely blew his arm out last year and the year before. Put Gee in the pen. Blevins said he is, “shooting for October.” Shooting like the shooting pain in his leg.

Lucas Duda was caught stealing in this game. Read that again.

Wilmer Flores hit a dinger and also signed autographs on photos of him crying in the dugout.

Where’s Reynolds, Herrera, and Rosario? And Nimmo and Greasy Cecchini? I’m sure we’ll hear about them more as the Mets start squirming out of resigning Cespedes. Herrera is in Vegas batting .350, which translates to about .100 in NY. Gotta bat about .600 in Vegas. All these guys get to the show and have under .300 OBPs. Maverick philosophy.

The Nationals LOST their half game opportunity. I had us penciled in for only 3 games up going into this weekened, but Scherzer got beat because the Nats couldn’t score in Colorado. NL LEEEEEEAAAASSST. I couldn’t care less. Cards had 83 regular season wins in 2006. It’s great. Win the fucking division. 4 games up. NATTITUDE! Such nattitude. It’s their division to lose, right Jayson Werthless? Spelling your name with a Y like a girl.

Span will come back at 100% and crush it. Wright will come back and have back spasms on the field.

Tonight, we start a 3 game series in Colorado. We’ve got Colon, Niese, and Verrett. We’re skipping Harvey’s start. I’m fine with it. Win ballgames. Protect the kid coming off of TJ. We’re not being cocky with a 4 game lead, we’re just being cautious and I like it. Save Harvey for the bigger games. This is to avoid shutting him down. Obviously, shutting him down would be the stupidest move in baseball history (cough cough Nationals Strasburg Nattitude cough cough), so if skipping 1 start leads to keeping him around the rest of the way, I’m fine with it.

Nice, Easy W

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Mets 5, Os 3

deGrom is so fucking elite. His ERA is now 1.98 on the season. And we got some insurance in the 8th. That didn’t matter, though, right? The 9th was nice and breezy? Nobody made a stupid play in the field? The bullpen didn’t almost blow it? Shheeeeiiiitt.

Well, we escaped. Now let’s get the mini-sweep. I exploded when Machado hit it to Murph to end the game. He’s a nightmare every play. Thankfully, he made it look easy…for a Mets infielder.

1969 World Series Rematch

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Duda!?
Duda!?

I can’t believe it. An enjoyable lineup. A healthy Duda. Is that for real? And no more Parnell? He was placed on the DL with a case of blows-at-pitching.

Flores at SS and Murph at 3B is pretty shitty. Jelly is our best 2B hands down. At least at 3rd base, Murph won’t throw to 3rd base…then again, you never know what he’ll do.

2 games. deGrom and Thor will try their luck against Crash Davis. Cespedes will be in a baby AL park again. By the way, before Cespedes’ oppo blast at Shitti, when was the last oppo blast? Was it Wright? Beltran? Cespedes really embarrasses our team of wimps.

Can we win on the road? So far, no. We blow.

Mets’ Magic Number Reduced by 3

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The Mets Reduced Their Magic Number to 42.
The Mets Reduced Their Magic Number to 42.
Pirates 8, Mets 1

Since my Rec League Softball team–Stanky Doodoo Farts–made the playoffs (via back door), I’m in a smiling summer baseball lala mood.

The Mets did their part this weekend, reducing their magic number to 42 over the Nats. MadBum went mad on em, striking out 14 and hitting a homer.

Granted, we didn’t win a game. But let’s say that we’ll TOOOOTTAAALLLYY be 100% healthy for the playoffs that we’re TOOOOOTTAALLLLLYY making it into. Wright is coming back! Get it–BACK! Guaranteed! Duda is A-OK! Matz, too, hooray!

The truth is that the Nats are doodoo right now, and I think they’ll get it together. But we can do the same. Just beat up on the shitty teams, win the NL LEEEAST, and then let the Cards, Pirates, and Cubs beat each other up.

We’d likely play the Dodgers in the 1st round. Clayton “Peyton” Kershaw twice, Greinke twice, Latos for Game 3, I’d guess. BUT PLAYOFFS!?!?! Way too early. There’s a shitload of baseball left. Now we gotta win on the road. Something we haven’t done at all.

The Pirates Don’t Blow

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Pirates 5, Mets 3 (F/14)

The Pirates are better than us. Their bullpen is better. They don’t have blockheads like Murph throwing to the wrong base. They really don’t blow. We haven’t beat a good team yet this season. And don’t tell me the Nats. They blow. Beating them doesn’t mean we’re good. 

#HarveyDay tomorrow; hopefully we can avoid the sweep. 

Mets Lose; Parnell Blows

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"I love blowing it." -Bobby P
“I love blowing it.” -Bobby P

Pirates 3, Mets 2 (F/10)

Parnell blows. I don’t really want to get into it. His ERA on the night was infinity (not an exaggeration). Where’s Black? Where’s Montero? Where’s Blevins? ALLLLLL DEEEEEAAAADD. Colon pitched very well. Cespedes went 3-5 with a dinger and a double. Don’t ever put Parnell in during a tight situation. REMINDER TO METSBLOW NATION: He’s always been bad. He used to throw 100mph and be bad. Now he throws 93 and is worse. He was mediocre at best a few years ago. Familia (and Mejia) are bar none the best we’ve ever had at closer. Franco, Benitez, Parnell…give me a break. Orosco’s glove is cursing out Parnell from the space station that it landed on.

Where’s Duda? Also dead. By the way, Ike Davis is tearing it the fuck up in Oakland. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather have an alive Duda, but he ain’t alive.

Today is the biggest game of the season. We’re currently 0-11 against the Cubs and Pirates. Uhhhhh…kinda gotta beat those teams.